001- [VIDEO]

[juuustice111]

[A man in a white suit fills the screen; partially because he is a large man, and partially because he has angled the camera very badly. There is perhaps something slightly off about the him; a grin that is a bit too big, maybe, or the aviator sunglasses that he is wearing indoors, at night. He is the sort of person that, with only one glance, you will probably find yourself thinking, "Ah, it's an idiot."]

JJJJUUUUUUUUSTTTIIICCCEEEEEE!!!

Hello everyone, and thank you for welcoming me to your fine city! The name is Bobby Fulbright, Hero of Justice, and I am here to protect the common people from whatever dangers might befall them! If there's anything you need — heroic rescue, kittens removed from trees, you name it — don't hesitate to give me a call.

By the way, I'm also a detective! So if there's murder going on, I can help out with that too. Investigating it, I mean. I'd be a pretty unjust detective if I were helping out with murder, HA HA HA!

[He performs an exaggerated two-fingered salute.]

In justice we trust!

[He reaches to turn off the camera, and then pauses.]

Oh, right! I'm in Residence #004, so... does anybody know where that is? I've been wandering around for hours, hahaha. Thanks!

Comments

[juuustice111]

Say, that's a good idea. Thanks!

[At least he's a cheerful idiot?]

[dragony]

[ Small mercies? It's hard to say. ]

Sure thing. Is there anything else you need?

[juuustice111]

Hmm... I guess not. But if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me. If someone's in trouble, you can count on me to come running!

[dragony]

That's very... [ uhm. ] ... Forward, of you.

What good can you do?

[ It's not MEANT as an insult... ]

[juuustice111]

Well... that would depend on the situation. Every problem has its own solution. I'll just help out however I can!

[dragony]

That's not very reassuring at all.

[juuustice111]

For example, if you needed reassurance, I would reassure you.

[dragony]

If someone gets shot, you wouldn't call fire department. You'd call them if a building was on fire.

You can't ask someone to rely on you blindly.

[juuustice111]

That's not really fair. Nobody can solve every problem...

[dragony]

Of course not. But, without knowing the sorts of things you can help with, and the things you can't, you paint yourself as someone who wants to solve every problem.

[juuustice111]

All right. I can help with crime scene investigation, prisoner rehabilitation, breaking up fights, and arresting criminals.

[dragony]

There. Not too difficult, is it?

So, you're a detective, is that right?

[juuustice111]

Yes! Or I was. I need to go about getting myself reassigned...

[dragony]

Oh? The job they assigned you wasn't a good match, I take it?

[juuustice111]

They have me as an acting coach. I think I'd make a pretty good coach, but I've never done any acting. I was even passed over for the elementary school play...

[dragony]

[ Ruka never went to elementary school, so the ubiquitousness of the concept — and the necessarily absent standards that go with it — are mostly lost on her. ]

Really? If you remember that so vividly, it must have been important to you, back then. I wonder, if this was to make up for it.

[juuustice111]

You think? That's so extraordinarily thoughtful! Correcting every injustice starting from my tender childhood!

[Wow, is he crying? It sure sounds like he's crying.]

[dragony]

[ What a total loser. The benefit of only ever broadcasting in audio is that Ruka never has to worry about those moments where she leans away from the communicator with such a sour, disapproving look on her face. ]

I... suppose you can look at it like that.

[juuustice111]

All right, I understand! I won't let them down!

[dragony]

[ Is she inadvertently talking this guy into keeping a job he didn't want, and isn't suited for...?

Well, it's his choice. ]

You have a pretty hot-blooded spirit, don't you? It's refreshing to see someone so earnest around here.

[juuustice111]

Thanks, but is that really such a strange thing?

[dragony]

No, not strange... but it's not a common thing, either.