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[craftpunk]

I have some important questions.

Poll #19154 An important Quiz

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 30

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How many worlds are there?

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One.
1 (3.4%)

Innumerable, obviously.
27 (93.1%)

Nine.
1 (3.4%)

What.
0 (0.0%)

Do you still have your powers?

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Yes
15 (51.7%)

No
7 (24.1%)

None of your business
7 (24.1%)

How do you feel about superpowers?

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Yes
17 (56.7%)

No
2 (6.7%)

Sod off.
11 (36.7%)

The Patriarchy is...

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A damaging class system that unfairly marginalizes anyone not a part of the ruling class
13 (50.0%)

The way of the world
4 (15.4%)

The single most damaging system to people of all genders
9 (34.6%)

Imaginary
0 (0.0%)

Which pill?

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Red Pill
9 (33.3%)

Blue Pill
7 (25.9%)

I don't believe in pharmaceuticals
11 (40.7%)

If you had to live anywhere, would it be...

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A dark forest
4 (14.3%)

A fjord
2 (7.1%)

A tundra
2 (7.1%)

Mountains
3 (10.7%)

Somewhere modern
17 (60.7%)

What pulls your chariot?

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Horses
16 (57.1%)

Bulls
4 (14.3%)

Cats
4 (14.3%)

Goats
4 (14.3%)

You solve problems with your:

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Mind
15 (51.7%)

Fists
5 (17.2%)

Charm
4 (13.8%)

Tricks
5 (17.2%)

Anyone else feeling a little extra powerful, lately?

Comments

[shadowglitter]

It says... that everyone thinks I'm hot, and they want to examine me as if I were a marble statue. And statues don't talk.
They (read: you) can't fully embrace the chiseled cut of my flawless muscles, the sharp and angular line of my jaw or the soft yet masculine pillowy firmness of my RIPPED PECS when I'm talking.
It ruins the illusion.

But sure, that's fine.
Odin's only one of my many names, anyway.
Being an immortal super-God and all.

[craftpunk]

Gulveig.

She was a sorceress who would use illusions and magic. I also killed her multiple times,
but she always seemed to come back.

There's an immortal super-god for you.

[shadowglitter]

Wait, you didn't address the thing I said about how good looking I am?

Unless you did. Unless you're saying this cool sorceress is good looking. And that I'm like her. Am I like her? Is that my name now? That's cool. I can accept that.
Did I ever-- haha, you'll laugh at this.
Did I ever tell you about the time my friend Henry tried to resurrect the dead? Well, I say tried. He actually did it, the mad old thing. He grew a corpse from a decimated arm, but it was the decimated arm of a corpse that had already been reanimated once before, so as far as complex necromantic magic goes I guess it wasn't all that impressive. Anyway, magic is terrifying and untenable and I'm blessed to have it running so strongly through my deific veins, yet still in ways it terrifies me.

What were we talking about?

[craftpunk]

[ He hates this guy so much.

He really does.

He actually puts his phone down and leaves for a good hour before responding. ]

ALL gods are good looking. You should see my entire pantheon from back home. It's expected that when you are one of us, you look amazing. [ He's used that word before, in a much different context. ]

We were talking about my gifts to others,
but you seem awfully distracted.

[shadowglitter]

Huh? What? Who's this?

[ an hour is too long for him to hold his attention. he accidentally leaves a character in the text box, which means there's a speech bubble that just says "odin is typing" for like ten minutes even though he's totally not. just a bubble there. just being annoying. just making woden think he's got more to say when he doesn't.

he comes back eventually though. ]

Oh, god stuff. I remember now.

Yeah, I'm good looking. I agree. My pantheon is also cool. I've got a big one. Lots of cool people over here in my cool big pantheon.
Wait.

Wait, did you really kill an immortal girl?
That's kinda stupid. Think through why that wouldn't work next time, idiot. Hahaha. Dork.
Can I have a gift?

[craftpunk]

Do you...even know the legends about your name?

Like...at all?

[shadowglitter]

Um... I don't know about legends, I just know what I can do. As Odin.

Einharjar work for me. Valkyries and stuff. I've got a lot of crows. I was born an Aesir, which is a class of God that I rule over? I'm a god of war and death, but don't, like, be scared, or anything, because I'm trying to stop the 9 Worlds from falling into a fated apocalypse called Ragnarok. There are these non-war gods called Vanir and I rule over them, too. Also, my will keeps people immortal? So that's pretty cool.

[craftpunk]

[ Woden actually takes another thirty minutes.

Like he Cannot. He is literally Too Educated to deal. ]

Do you know anything else? Maybe the cause of the Aesir-Vanir war? The spark of the universe created between Woden, Vili, and Ve? The pool of knowledge and wisdom where the head lies to whisper words?

The sacrifice and hanging? The norns? The discovery of Runes? Askr Yggdrasils?

[shadowglitter]

Yup.

[ NOPE ]

[craftpunk]

Then no, you don't get a gift. Clearly you know everything.

[shadowglitter]

[ ... !!!! ]

Wait

[ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!! He has to decide between getting free shit and admitting he's a liar?! There is FRANTIC typing and backspacing and typing and backspacing and typing. This is the worst? He's in hell? Or Hel. Haha. Get it? God. It takes him a solid fifteen minutes of actually trying to come up with something to say, before he lands on something. ]

sblebn

[ Fuck, wait! He just key smashed and accidentally hit send! Fuck! Wait! ]

That

That was a spell. That I cast. As Odin. The god. Sblebn. By the Holy Night of Sblebn!! ERASE MY MEMORIES! It
My
I wiped my memory.
A little.
It stands for...
Stop! But! Lo! Egads! By the Nine!
Sblebn.

So.
Soooooooooooo.
Checkmate.
Gift me, bitch! Haha.
(Sorry for swearing.)

[craftpunk]

So first of all: calling me bitch is like the opposite of what you need to do.

Second: what language is Sblebn from, exactly?

[ HE'S ACTUALLY INSULTED NOW ODIN GOOD JOB ]

[shadowglitter]

I'm sorry. Which... I think I already said.
But.
It's okay.
If you missed that.

It's

[ sweats. ]

Have you never heard of The Manual of Justice? The enchantments etched in those sacred pages are of an unknowable script. Rarely, if ever, can man decipher the eldritch text bled in that grimoire. That Chalice of Power.
This is where I discovered this... this word. Of power.
Honestly, it's amazing I even managed to... to translate it. So successfully. Into sbl... lebnlebn.

Hey, can I ask you kind of a weird question?

[craftpunk]

I speak a lot of languages, and there's nothing like that associated with Nordic or High Germanic texts, so no. What region is it from?

And go ahead, if you must ask me a question.

[shadowglitter]

M... ercury.

Okay.

Do you think we're friends?
I know we don't know each other well, but you're really funny and I love talking to you.
I'd like it if we became even closer, especially because we're both basically exactly the same in every way.
I think the two of us could - well. Not fall in love. I literally just got dumped, so I'm not ready for that.
But I'm very attracted to myself. I'd date me.
Our names are the same. You're very likely an alternate universe version of myself. I don't think that's a stretch for me to make.
We could be something special.
I think.
Thoughts?

1/2

[craftpunk]

[craftpunk]

Are you fucking with me?

[shadowglitter]

Buddy.

That's Frey's job, not mine.

[craftpunk]

You don't match my Aesthetic.

[shadowglitter]

Oh.

Actually, that is a very big problem. For me. Aesthetic is very important. I base much of my life around it.

What's your... Aesthetic?

[craftpunk]

[ He's going to regret this. He knows he's going to regret this -- ]

Tall and asian.

[shadowglitter]

I'm literally both of those things?

[ But also - ]

I can see it. I get it.
Good work.

[craftpunk]

...Good work WITH?

[ He almost clarifies. Uses the F-word. But really, even he feels a little filthy calling women that. ]

[shadowglitter]

Good work with the type of friends you like?

[ wrong f word. ]

Look, all I'm saying is I'm 6'1'', my dad's from my universe's version of feudal Japan, and I want you to think I'm an engaging and attractive human person.
So.
Good work on having excellent taste?
I don't know what to tell you.
Do you want me to call you out on being kinda racist? Is that what you're fishing for?
Because I just want you to like me and give me free shit. That's all I'm here for.

[craftpunk]

You wouldn't be the first to call me racist -- but you're also not the first to assume what's behind this mask.

But I don't like having friends who are just in it for the shit I give them. Shouldn't they also bring something to the table?