12. A Rolling Stone Gathers No Mozz [Video]

[continuousgroaning]

[Tina's happily humming to herself as she turns the feed on. A notebook is lying on Maurtia Falls #003's kitchen table, and she zooms in on several labeled drawings of burgers as she slowly flips through the pages:]

Magnus Burnsides - mango salsa with "sideburns" of hot peppers
Wizard Of Mozz - Italian sausage patty, topped with pizza sauce and mozzarella
Merle Highchurch - Pan fried, topped with a few different kinds of greens
Detective Angus - made of Angus beef with a mystery cheese inside
Max - a long bun with two mini patties and fried pickle wheels, to look like a skateboard
Sharpedo - sharp cheddar cheese with "fins" made of nacho cheese Doritos
Pikachu - put pepperoni slices for cheeks, olives for eyes, and mustard for the face on the patty
Exeggutor - honey and egg bun with two fried eggs

[Tina then shuts the notebook and turns the camera on herself, looking quite proud.]

This has been my latest project- coming up with burgers themed after imPorts I know. I want to sell them, maybe at swear-ins, or something like that.

If you could make your own burger, what would you put on it?

Comments

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[extremeteenbible]

Hey, this is good! You should get one o' those.. whaddaya call em? Food trucks!

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[continuousgroaning]

Thanks!

We had one of those for a few weeks at home, actually. ... it didn't end well.

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[fauxmarth]

[positively charmed:] What a delightful idea you have there. A creative tribute to your friends, as well as being a delicious treat. I'd be happy to try any of them.

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[continuousgroaning]

[Tina smiles bashfully in return.]

Thank you. I grew up helping in my dad's restaurant, and he came up with a different special every day, so it's kinda fun. And makes me think of him.

If I can, I think I'm going to set up a booth at the swear-in this month.

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[uzumaniac]

[He takes a long moment to look over the list, are these really the names of people that have arrived here?]

[With a tentative glance up from the list he honestly ponders her question. It's so far removed from the literal horror he lives in every day that it's actually really hard to answer. But, he wants to. Being alone in a room a lot really gets to you, it makes you hunch over your phone in the dark, staring at post after post until a simple and inviting one about burgers takes your interest.]

[His glasses gleam as he adjusts them, his hand moving to set a curled finger against his chin.]

It seems like... from this list, you could put anything on a burger. [Why is it so intimidating?]

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[continuousgroaning]

Mmhmm. They're more flexible than you might think. My dad came up with a different special every day for his restaurant, so he had to get creative.

[beyourzoomer]

[She is a little stunned, but also really flattered.]

You named a burger after me?

[continuousgroaning]

Yeah! Do you like it?

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[journalkeeper]

These are perfect, Tina. [ She's very amused. ] You've captured the boys' spirits exactly.

I think if I had a burger -- [ She hesitates a moment, feeling like anything she could say would be less fanciful. ] sliced onions, goat cheese? I'm not sure, I'm not a chef.

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[continuousgroaning]

Thank you. I'm pretty proud of them.

Hey, that actually gives me an idea for the name- GDOAT. Greatest Director Of All Time. Since it has goat cheese, and you're the G-O-A-T.

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[burlyboy]

Just puttin' it out there: mine's the best one.

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[continuousgroaning]

I think so, too. I'm glad you like it.

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[am_i_a_monster]

That's a cool project. I'd definitely try some of those.

[She gives her a smile.]

I like breakfast food and game meats, so I'd probably make a venison burger and top it with bacon, fried egg and a homemade potato patty. Maybe serve it on a toasted bagel with cream cheese instead of a hamburger bun.

What about you? What'd be in a Tina burger?

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[continuousgroaning]

Oh, I've never thought about venison before! It's hard to think outside of beef because Dad didn't think it was a real burger unless it was beef. But the rest of that sounds awesome.

For some reason I'm having trouble with my own. Probably because I've tried so many of Dad's specials, I don't have a favorite that'd just be mine.

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[articulations]

Honestly, I haven't had many burgers since I arrived here.

[ Fries, that's where it's at for her. ]

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[continuousgroaning]

I'm pretty fond of them, but I know I'm biased there. It's easy to be creative with them.

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[livesfastdiesung]

[Said completely seriously:]

Apples. Maybe jellyfish! But definitely apples.

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[continuousgroaning]

Apples are something I never thought of, but... jellyfish? I didn't know those were edible.

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[bentspooner]

The Exeggutor sounds delicious. Let us know when you're in business, I'll be sure to pay you a visit.

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[continuousgroaning]

I will, thank you! I think I'll be at this month's swear-in, and I do make meals at the Endeavor Center in Maurtia Falls once or twice a month.

[hellosirs]

Oh gosh, this is very flattering! And, um, I didn't know I shared my name with a type of beef?

[continuousgroaning]

Uh-huh! It's the top quality kind of beef.

[photophobic]

[ A very intense stare. Very. ]

Spicy sauce.

[continuousgroaning]

That's a good start. What else?

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[romancekiller]

Ah— these are all themed after people you know here?

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[continuousgroaning]

Uh-huh. Either the people themselves or their Pokemon.

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[girlybruiser]

Those sound quite delicious!

[ A light giggle. ]

I think I would call mine the Mona! And it would have yellow peppers and be made with a fish patty instead of a beef patty.

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[continuousgroaning]

Thank you!

I can definitely cook fish, too. I learned how to make burgers from my dad, and he's pretty strict about thinking of burgers as only being made of beef, but I'm a lot more flexible.

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[recommendations]

I had no idea there were so many things you can do with hamburgers!

I suppose if I were making one for myself, I'd make one of those ones with a fried egg on top. Whatever has the highest caloric intake.

[ And yet, she's so skinny... ]

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[continuousgroaning]

The good thing about burgers is the base is so simple, and beef tastes good with so many things.

Oooh, in that case, you could add cheese on it, too. Or maybe some pico de gallo or peppers.

[reexamined]

Eating repulses me.

[Because he has to be human to do it, on top of just... everything about eating seems gross.]

But I like your ideas. They are very unique.

[continuousgroaning]

Oh... because you're a droid, right? And you don't need to.

[She smiles at the compliment.]

Thank you. I don't always have a new idea every day like Dad does, but every once in a while I'll get inspired.

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[halloflamer]

[The feed opens to a big, happy triplet of coconut heads, bobbling at the screen.]

Ex-egg-u-torrrr!

[And then Blue sticks his spiky head in with a beaming grin!]

'Sounds like a good idea to him', he says! As long as we get the first taste-test!

As for me.... hmm, I like something spicy! Maybe topped with spicy sausage and hot sauce?

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[continuousgroaning]

Absolutely- if he'd like eating one!

[She nods.]

Or spicy mustard. I went to the international market once and they had probably 100 different kinds of mustard.