maskormenace | 1st 💀 Video;

1st 💀 Video;

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Your name of speech suggests otherwise, as does your atrocious attire.

Anyone who calls themselves a "grown ass man," clearly has a lot of growing up left to do.

Tch! Say whatever ya want, y'old geezer.

I don't give a shit about acting any kinda way, 'specially not no way that some gramps with an ugly beard approves of.

[ Call him an old geezer all you want, he doesn't care. But calling his beard ugly is where he draws the line. ]

I'll have you know that Aegis Force and the local police departments don't take too kindly to threats of violence, against other imPorts or anyone. If we find evidence of you abusing your strength, you can bet on there being repercussions.

...Yo.

[Okay, that cracks him up, and he does nothing to stop from laughing. Hearing this old guy and his dumb beard say "yo" like he's even remotely the kind of guy who can pull it off is just. It's great, ok?]

Yeah!? You gonna try and stop me, old man? Never cared for the fuzz back home, ain't gonna start now.

[And with some added emphasis:]

Yo!

[ S I G H ]

Listen. I'm going to give it to you straight, because at this point, I'm afraid that's the only way to get through that think skull of yours.

There is an organization on this planet that wants us imPorts gone, and they don't care who they have to hurt to achieve that goal, imPort or civilian alike. now is not the time for pointless antagonism, now is the time we imPorts should band together to preserve peace and foster a mutually beneficial relationship with the locals. All signs point to this world being in terrible danger. We don't have time for petty squabbles from opportunistic new port-ins.

Man, you ever consider doin' public speaking or something? I feel real motivated all of a sudden. Warm and fuzzy-like. I might even hug someone.

[He is. Not at all. Taking this seriously. Before coming here, he was basically on a path to bring destruction to his own home, do you really think he's gonna care if this world gets destroyed?]

I'm really feeling this camaraderie thing. Think I'm gonna change my ways, dude.

[The sarcasm is about as thick as his skull, truly.]

[ Thankfully, Akobi's bullshit meter is finally tuned. Perhaps it's from all this time working with Archie. Not that Akobi would give him all that credit. He'd attribute it to rubbing elbows with sanctimonious Imperials for decades. ]

There's no need to humor me. I would much rather you take these allegations seriously than lie baldly to my face about changing your ways when you have no actual intentions of doing any such thing.

I see someone was takin' notes in sarcasm. Good on you, old man! You're above the rest of them. Low bar as it is, and all.

[Guzma is every bit the fool Archie can be. But worse. He's an arrogant, self-centered man with a bit too much anger. What sense he might have is drowned out by it.]

But I'm sure it got my point across, huh? I don't care about this world, I don't care about you other ImPorts, least of all these citizens. If they get wrecked because of me, that ain't my problem.

Survival of the fittest, yo!

Edited 2019-06-08 11:15 (UTC)

If an organization like the OTO succeeds in laying waste to imPorts, they will not stop for you just because you're "tougher" than everyone else. You sow the seeds of your own destruction by antagonizing others.

Uh-huh. Yeah I'll wreck 'em like I do everyone else.

You got anymore platitudes that might better serve being on a poster with a Litten hanging from a tree branch on it for a child's classroom? You could make a killing, just sayin'.

You will not single handedly take down an organization that has been terrorizing the imPort and native communities alike for over a year, undetected. If it were that easy to "wreck them," then they would no longer be a threat.

Look, just 'cos y'all suck at taking down these two-bit pieces of shit, don't mean I gotta fit in with the rest of y'all losers in your failures, yo.

[ ... ]

You're delusional.

Like I ain't heard that shit before.

Look man, I'll wreck anyone in my way, including them OTO assholes if I gotta. Don't care if ya think I can or not, I ain't got shit to prove to some skeptic like you.

And your boisterous claims will fall on deaf ears when you fall prey to the OTO's machinations, just like everyone else who got too big for their boots.

Are you comin' at me like this 'cos of some misplaced bit of concern, or are you just seein' if you can whittle down my resolve? 'Cos I got news for you pal...

No, let me guess. Your obstinance knows no bounds. There's no convincing you that you're anything other than the greatest.

Ain't no reason to believe anything other than reality, yo! I'm the greatest trainer in all of Alola, and that ain't changing just 'cos I got brought here!

Edited 2019-06-15 14:15 (UTC)

[ Oh no, not another one. ]

Don't tell me... You're one of those Poke-mon people?

Yeah, dude!

[Not only is he another one, he's also...]

I'm the leader of Team Skull! The strongest Pokémon trainer you'll ever get the privilege of meeting, yo!

[ Under his breath: ] I wouldn't exactly call it a "privilege."

Is being hard headed and foolish a requirement for being a Pokémon trainer?

[Guzma catches that, but hey he's barely insulted. He relishes in people hating him, after all.]

Arguably.

[He concedes.]

Ain't never seen some soft, sane person get very far in their trials. Course, foolish is a bit relative...

[It does take a certain kind of foolishness to willingly take on training these murder beasts, especially at the tender age of 11 or younger, honestly...]

Of course. One can't be sane to try to tame wild beasts into fighting their battles for their own amusement.

[ Akobi only has the barest understanding of what Pokémon trainers do, from his brief encounter with Archie and the hologram Dragonite.

...Back before he hated Archie's guts. ]

Tch, maybe that's what they do in other regions, but it ain't just for amusement in Alola.

[Traditions, coming of age, etc.]

And they're more than wild beasts yo, y'act like they're mindless or something. They ain't.

What, it's a matter of life and death? Train and digitize them before they overrun you completely?

[ Again, not helping the "they're not mindless" argument. ]

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