text

[lyingheart]

How do you convince government authorities that you're not just feigning ignorance, you're actually computer technology illiterate? This is almost two hours of being told I'm a potential hacker, and while I almost laughed the first time they said it, I'm now wasting my pee break asking for help proving the only way I'll be hacking into a computer is with an axe.

private to knock out, about two hours later;

Knock Out, they're not letting me go home without a sign-off from my legal guardian, and right now you're the only one I have processed. Assistance is appreciated.

Comments

text;

[earnedmystripes]

why do they think youre a hacker

text;

[lyingheart]

A bunch of bullshit non-reasons. One of my favorites is "you own a non-government issued computer."

[Text]

[pacifistaggressive]

It should be within your right to ask for a computer literacy test.

Re: [Text]

[lyingheart]

I did, though not in those words. I passed... at the minimum required to graduate from a Florida state high school. Which is apparently incriminating, as I could be "dumbing myself down."

text.

[xpostate]

Okay, me I get, but not many are as familiar as me.

Did they actually tell you why they suspect you?

text.

[lyingheart]

Nothing that could hold water for a day of heavy hiking.

text;

[infomodder]

[what in the hell]

You could offer to take a polygraph test.

text;

[lyingheart]

[ a lot of circumstantial, inconclusive "facts" that add up to entirely wrong conclusions, that's what ]

What's involved in a polygraph test?

[observationalhazard]

I knew you were a fast learner, but that's impressive!

[She is probably just giving Annie shit.

Probably.]

[lyingheart]

You're very unhelpful.

text; encrypted

[liverletdie]

Hopefully this isn't because I've been giving you lessons. Did they mention my name?

text; encrypted

[lyingheart]

[ SADLY... THEY DID... ]

Yours in't the only one, but yes, they did. Incrimination by association isn't a new trick, but the series of "facts" they have lined up still rely on some decent leaps in logic to arrive at "you're a legitimate suspect for this idiocy."

[ it's just going to turn bizarre when they start asking other government related questions that ping more to her background and being suspicious of it and her intent here. ]

text;

[godly]

They suspect you of being a potential hacker?

text;

[lyingheart]

There's a reason I was tempted to laugh.

Two hours ago.

text.

[delegation]

honestly i think the axe thing is probably a good idea
memorable, effective, and hey they might have to let you have a longer break while they fix the computer

text.

[lyingheart]

Get me an axe and a computer. I'm more than happy to demonstrate what years of wood chopping can do for a person's form. And I'll take the extra break from this idiocy.

[selfimage]

Oh goodie, the hunt begins.

Paranoid over a whole lot of nothing, aren't they.

[lyingheart]

Yes. I'd almost be impressed at the sheer level of paranoia, if I weren't the one currently in the middle of it.

Impressed, but not surprised.

text.

[immigrantpunk]

they let u have your phone on a break?

text.

[lyingheart]

No. They didn't confiscate the comm.

[ they just didn't do a pat down and she's glad because fuck those guys. AND SHE KNOWS SOMEONE SEES THIS but suspects not these idiots because the only knock shes gotten she's been able to make them wait over female complaints. ]

text;

[redhairring]

suspected by the government buddy, high five from across our interrogation rooms

text;

[lyingheart]

You too? Exactly how busy have they been today?

text

[smarterthandad]

If this jerk in a cheap suit calls me "sweetheart" one more time, I really am going to hack their servers.

text

[lyingheart]

Keep referring to him as Grandpa. It's been working over here, if working is about irritating people.

Video

[weapabilities]

You'd think they would expect that with people dropping in from every corner of the universe...s. Universes. Multiverse?

Either way.

text

[lyingheart]

I don't think any of these people are thinking very much about anything related to how varied the whole universe multiverse whatever it is means they're making wrong assumptions from a collection of true facts, one way or the other.

text;

[ironbuttmonkey]

w8 u
for real???

[BUT SHE'S A GRANDMA.]

i dunno man
hav u considered dumbin it down a bit
tell em u dont kno how all these beeps an boops work
metal box w/ bright lights v.scary
or somethin

[Sorry, he's not serious. He has no legit advice.]

text;

[lyingheart]

[ such help you are man, SUCH HELP ]

Maybe you can bring in your communicator and show them the video I took of you in July.

Who knows.

That might convince them.

TEXT;

[forcowardice]

Show your method of restarting a computer.
Then I think they might get it.

You okay, Annie?

TEXT;

[lyingheart]

I'm irritated, but I'm physically fine.

Do you think it'd be too subtle if I asked for an axe and a laptop to demonstrate my personal technique when it comes to troubleshooting?

text.

[selfequipped]

What hacking do they actually think you're guilty of?

[Oh, she has an idea. But she wants to know for certain.]

text.

[lyingheart]

[ let's make things as explicit as she can ]

The hacking responsible for the successful information leak at the end of September, and the following live-broadcast interruption.

text.

[isaytheeneigh]

Well, they wouldn't be joining any corps to survey anything.

That sounds like they're right up there with you, Annie.

[Which is a bad joke, but some part of him likes the idea that she's been given trouble.]

text.

[lyingheart]

Quit horsing around, Jean.

[ look, one bad joke can merit a bad reference. particularly when technically annie has been very effective, and hadn't tracked anyone down falsely... and was also damn good at paperwork. unfortunately. it's the most boring thing in the world, jean, the most boring thing in the world. ]

[incendere]

Perhaps you should ask for a computer.

[lyingheart]

And an axe? Because they've provided the computer, and they're still saying the most stupid things.

text;

[madpretender]

'Signs of mental illness' seemed to work. Whatever that means.

I could of done it.

[He might be a little upset that they think he didn't do it despite not actually having done anything.]

text;

[lyingheart]

[ but someone else is warning her not to come off as mentally unsound ]

Could have is different than did. They let you leave on that?

text/private

[paintjobs]

Oh, the messes you get into. Where are you?

text/private

[lyingheart]

Not even a polar bear in sight this time.

Heropa, downtown next to the police office.

[ even Tony Stark is going to help her out brobot what took so long!!! (it's been an annoying few hours okay) ]

[handwringing]

What do they think you hacked?

[Surely it must be something bad if they've been at it for hours.]

[lyingheart]

The government. Oh, and national television.

[clinomaniac]

Well, you can hack at a computer with an axe.

[He's helpful.]

[lyingheart]

Yes, that's a physical act I'm capable of performing.

[ so helpful ]

[anthropophagite]

Hacked what?

[lyingheart]

The government. And the national news broadcast we saw.

[ look she hasn't even used him as an alibi yet she's just pointed out she was with a friend when the broadcast started okay??? ]

[acclimatized]

[ naturally, looking over the other responses. ]

Talk about a witch hunt. Just how many of our people have been pulled in?

[lyingheart]

I'm not sure. There's at least three of us right now, and probably more earlier. I'll admit this is something I wasn't following at all.

I'd thought it wasn't personally relevant. Not this personally, at least.

voice;

[runningstart]

[UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER]

text

[lyingheart]

Wally will you keep it off audio please?!