007 | text;

[textualhealing]

Fanfics.

We've all read them, don't even try to deny it. Some of us might have written them in the past (I've dabbled, ngl. They were amazing pieces of art.)

I already know the weird shit that fans can come up with, but what I really wanna know is your favorite ones. Give me the best pairings, the oddest settings and the hella creepy "plots" that are out there.

No fic is too NSFW or too weird for me to read.

I guess now is also the perfect time to mention I'm on the look out for imPort staff. Those familiar with law, paralegals, even just people real good at answering phones tbh. I won't get you to look up creepy fanfics for me, I swear. I might email you the good ones tho, but I don't see any downside in that.

mirror!net; anon text

[23wishes]

i need to get into contact with someone who's skilled with programming, specifically AIs. it's kind of urgent. please use discretion.

001 | Video

[inmemoriae]

--subject seems to have no unique properties...[The video comes into focus mid-way through, featuring Zelda hunched over a desk, furiously taking notes.

She sighs after a moment, moving to pick up something from the side of her desk—a frog.]

I was really hoping there would be something special...those back home would improve speed, performance, attack...and yet, nothing. I don’t know how I’ll manage to make any useful elixir without specialized ingredients.

[She frowns, poking her amphibian specimen and laughing slightly as the frog croaked in response. She finally turns her attention to the camera.]

I don’t suppose any of you know of any animals or plants here that have special properties? Or where one might find some materials to experiment with? I would greatly appreciate any leads you might be able to provide.

8th dawn → text

[resipiscent]

Would anyone be interested in a couple of hamsters? Or I could split them up, I guess, if you're okay with only having one.

5 [Video]

[ret2go]

[The camera has clearly been set up on some sort of stand, facing a rather nondescript storefront that would be utterly unremarkable if not for the various streamers and ribbons somewhat haphazardly strung up on the front. A girl with far too much hair has her face right up in the screen, frowning intently at it as she fiddles with the settings; she goes in and out of focus.] Why does this always have to be so complicated...?

[Satisfied at last, she steps back.] Heelloooooooo everybody! Have you ever had a wish that deep down you really wanted to come true? Don't lie, we know you have!

Well, wish no longer! [She pauses for a moment.] I mean, keep on wishing, but... but you don't have to wish for the--

--anyway, your wishes can come true here at Shantae's Wish Palace! For a modest fee, we can grant your wishes three! Oh hey, that rhymed.

Visit us downtown today! Now hiring lawyers and, uh, suggestions for a better name. We're workshopping it.

[She takes a deep breath.] Notallwishesaregrantabletheuseofthisserviceisuptogeniediscretioncustomerscannotwishformorewishesor [she gasps for air] for more genies. Darn, I almost had it!