maskormenace | [ 01 ] Video; Possible Action for housemates?

Entry tags:

[ 01 ] Video; Possible Action for housemates?

[ The video starts rolling well before Walter's prepared to sit down and talk. What the viewer gets is about twenty minutes of a frail and sickly thin, older white man in his tighty whities, staring blankly into the screen. A bottle of wine is in one hand, continuously pouring the contents into a glass as he drinks them down only to refill it again. It's the alcoholic channel, with a few fascinatingly thoughtful jaw clenches and an unwavering staring competition with the lens. Finally, he clears his throat and speaks up. ]

So this is supposed to connect me to others 'like me?' These so-called imPorts...

[ He studies his empty glass, turning it in his hands. ]

There's one question that never got answered, and maybe you can give me some insight? Clue me in a little because I sure saw a lot of fire and brimstone a few days ago...

[ He looks up, dead eyes focusing on the screen. ]

Is this supposed to be hell?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Blame my history-revised father.

Who you can't see because you're not allowed in Indiana? Or did he tragically fall to the wolves as well?

Oh, no. He died in a tragic house fire. Started under suspicious circumstances when my mother and the pool boy were away.

See? Way more fun than 'guy in another dimension who doesn't know his alternate daughter-version is awol.'

[ Faintly amused. ]

It is. And I imagine it's even more fun if you can get someone to believe you. Have you gone public with this evil win, wolf, tragic fire story?

Mm, not that one.

[But others? Sure.]

But after hearing Disney's in Alabama, people are ready to believe pretty much anything.

[ Wait. What. ]

Disney's in Alabama? Why would it be there of all places?

[ He's skeptical, though. This is Janet Snakehole, after all. ]

Disney was a racist or something. Or the government just wanted to make living in Florida suck more for us.

I guess Alabama could use a boost in visits. It's unlikely many people went there without reason before.

[ Shrug. ]

Except to hunt the most dangerous game.

But, mm. Yeah, truth is pretty relative nowadays.

[ Faint amusement. ]

Not dangerous enough. They're not fighting dragons. Unless those are indigenous to the Alabama of this world.

Or Godzilla. But the Semi-Dangerous When Compared to Catfish Game doesn't really have the same catchy title.

I'd like to hope Godzilla stays in Japan. I don't feel as though I was equipped with strong enough powers to go into close combat with him -- or even far combat.

It's all in the creative thinking. Way more dangerous than fire hands and summoning bees.

What'd you get?

[ The truth? Or a lie. Truth or lie...truth or lie... Lie. ]

Oh, I can...

[ He looks around the room and then focuses on a book. ]

Look at a book...and flip through it really fast and memorize what's in it. I'm not so sure it's going to help me out when it comes to anything. What about you?

[ Lucky for him, unlike certain people she knows determining if someone is lying is not her skill. And she has heard of worse powers.]

Wow. You angered the porter gods. I'm a Disney princess. Professionally speaking.

[ He laughs a bit at her comment about angering the porter gods, shrugging dismissively. ]

....you're a Disney princess? What is that supposed to mean? You burst into song in the middle of battle?

I have adorable sweat shop animal companions. The singing thing is totally alcohol blood level dependent.

That sounds...

[ Like a surefire way to spread rabies. ]

...useful. It also sounds like a shame that dragons aren't indigenous to this world because then your power would be unstoppable in that case.

Right? Total tragedy, the porter only gives so much. Anything that can take her down gets left on the cutting room floor.

Have you put your power to use yet? I'm curious about how you actually call the animals and how close they have to be to hear you. Is it just whatever's around at the time? Or do they come running from other cities?

[ Even weirder if they hop the porter. Wow, this conversation's getting strange. Walt pours another glass of wine so he can keep up. ]

What? You think I'm doing, like...anything with my own slave hoard? I don't know even know what a washing machine looks like.

[ April leans back and makes a tut tut sound before turning back to the camera. In a second, three raccoons have scampered over to sit on her shoulders and lap.]

They just kinda...keep showing up. And then never leave. Eduardo broke into my first apartment to help me set up my DVR. Then he just went recruiting or something.

[ Walt is not even sure what he's seeing. He stares at her and then the raccoons. Technologically advanced raccoons -- just when this world couldn't get any stranger. ]

Are you sure that's a power and not an infestation? Does rabies exist in this world? I would be a little concerned about that, considering...

[ He makes a gesture at the raccoons. ]

They're gentlemen. They don't bite without asking first.

I guess....if you have to live with them, it's a good thing they have manners?

Have to? They're way better than every human here. And alien. And robot. And ghost. And...

God. We have too many things capable of complaining on the internet here.

[ She has seriously depressed herself with that list of just how many sentient creatures there are to put up with in this world. ]

(no subject)

kingpawn - 2015-03-08 05:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

aggressiveapathy - 2015-03-08 05:50 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only