001 | Video

[moneyballer]

Okay, so this superhero gig? Best. Thing. Ever!

[Each word is accompanied by animated hand gestures and unnecessary head bobbing. Better get used to it.]

Yo, this is frickin’ awesome! I mean, I wanted to defend the law and all, but this? This is better than all the wet dreams I’ve ever had! And, phew! I’ve had some great ones. Madonna? She may be old, but that chick can get it.

[Why is he gesturing to the viewer like he won an Oscar or something? What the hell is his problem?]

Some guys wouldn’t be caught dead walking around in spandex and a pair of tighty-whities, but… You can’t deny that this bodacious badonkadonk-

[Asher sets the device on the table in front of him, doing a twirl for the camera. Oh god, is that a booty pop? It is. Someone stop this man.]

Would look great in a supersuit.

Comments

[ferrisbuellean]

Not a chance. Anyone could be cooler than him. He was a rich boy slimeball with no standards and no class. You need to engage with clients, not alienate them.

[moneyballer]

Totally!

That's super important. And, I dunno, no matter who you are, you usually want to keep your ass outta the big house, especially if you hired a lawyer.

[ferrisbuellean]

Wow, they sure are teaching you the good stuff at law school, huh?

[moneyballer]

Fuck you dude, I'm a first year.

[Asher's been keeping his energy up, but talking to all these people is tiring him out. He's got work tomorrow- If he really wants to learn anything and get his ass back into gear, he's going to need some sleep.]

I feel like I learn a lot more working at the firm than I do from the textbooks.

Nothing in real life is ever like the cases you hear about in class.

[ferrisbuellean]

[Poor tired Asher. Jeff will stay up forever if it means he gets to play on his phone.]

You actually any good, honestly?

Setting the scene for you here, but I got my own show: Lawyer at Large. Shows an up and coming imPort lawyer playing the system, right? And I'm trying to get my own firm started too for those who don't want a camera in their face. Play your cards right and maybe I'll let you handle the copier.

[moneyballer]

Dude, I'm worth more than just a fuckin' copy room gig-

[The way Asher fires back at that immediately seems to point to something else. He's as loud and obnoxious about that as he is about everything else, but there's vulnerability there, as if he's been doubted countless times before.

This is his chance to prove people wrong, damn it.

To prove them all wrong.]

[ferrisbuellean]

Well, you can stick up for yourself, I guess that's something.

[Even if the douchebro act is still just a little off putting. It's okay though, Jeff can mingle with the douchbros just as well as he can mingle with others.]

Seriously though, if you're ever interested...

[moneyballer]

I'm not gonna do coffee runs, but if you've got somethin' worthwhile? I'll definitely check it out.

Thanks man.

[ferrisbuellean]

Coffee runs would be pretty damn short considering it's me and myself.

Look, no problem, I might genuinely need an extra hand with researching sometimes, y'know? Always helps to have another person who knows law kicking around. Maybe I'll seeya about.