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Hullo, everyone. It's Kitty. I've not been around for a little while, but - I'm back now. In Heropa. And, erm - just for anyone who cares - both Mandrake and Bartimaeus have gone home. So I'm the only one left from my world now.

[ Her expression following that announcement is a mixture of disgust (because that sounded dreary and pathetic, didn't it) and sadness. Then, with a little shake of her head (you can practically hear her telling herself to stiffen her upper lip) she continues on: ]

Right. So - all right. I recently made a rumblr - that's an account on the website rumblr-dot-com - and I've actually managed to get quite a few followers. It turns out people are completely mad for having imPorts friended on social media. Anyway, it's actually really great - there are lots of really worthy causes out there, and when I pick them up they get spread around pretty nicely. It keeps this celebrity thing from being overbearingly stupid. I generally ask my followers to bring causes to my attention. This week I'm trying to help raise funds for maintaining latrines in areas where people practice open defecation. A lack of proper sanitation is linked incredibly closely to higher rates of infant mortality and shorter lifespans, but a billion people in the world live without access to it. And it doesn't take all that much money to make a change. So I'm trying to raise funds for that this week. Next week, we're going to be taking a look at raising money to help with mass deworming.

My rumblr is called 'therealkittyjones,' if anyone wants to follow me.

I'm also looking for people to help out with some fundraising for these causes. I've been in touch with a radio station, and I'm thinking we ought to do a celebrity version of two truths and a lie - in honor of all that rubbish at the last swear-in, you know. What happens is you come onto the program and you give me two true statements and one lie. Listeners go online and they wager five dollars on which one's the lie. If they get it right, they get an autographed picture of you, and if they get it wrong then their money just goes to charity. You'll also put up some of your own money, and if I manage to guess on-air which one's the lie you have to donate too. I've gotten asks for some of the imPorts in particular - [ She leans forward and clicks to another window on her communicator, her eyes moving as she reads. ] So, Superman, Mr Stark, Mr Hundred, Mr Wayne, Mr Gamagori, Mr Taylor, Mr Xanatos, Mr Callaghan, consider yourselves called out - you know, reading off all those men, I just realized how sexist my followers are, eurgh. There are a few women on this list too, but not nearly enough. Olivier, Sabriel, Power Girl...Actually, you know, pretty much everybody's interesting to the locals. I think all of you are on here, the list is like five pages long. We've just got far too many men here, haven't we?

[ And she sits back, her eyes focusing as she comes back to the window of her webcam. ]

Anyway, it'll only take about an hour of your time, and it's for a good cause. A series of good causes. Plus you'll get to talk about yourself, and I've never met anyone who wasn't at least a little bit obsessed with themselves. So...let me know if you're interested and I'll set up all the details.

Right. Anyway, thanks for listening.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Who do you think you would have been otherwise?

I suppose in some respects I'd still be the same man I was. I previously worked in a position similar to the one that I work in now. However, I doubt I would be as content as I am now.

That's such a non-answer.

[ And Owen just smiles at that. Ding ding ding, Kitty Jones.

....and yeah, he's not saying anything here, just to prove how much of a non-answer it is. ]

You totally like being a bit mysterious, don't you.

It has it's merits.

Tell me about what you were like as a kid.

[ yeah THAT'S THE PROBLEM because someone never had a childhood because Owen Burnett is technically like five or so years old.

time to lie out his ass ]

Well, I grew up in a large family. I spent a lot of time away from home as a child and, as a result, am rather distant from my parents. [ all technically true ]

What about you? I assume you were an only child. [ cause Kitty's STUBBORN ]

Um -

[ Oh. She wasn't really expecting the question to get turned around on her, and so she's not really ready with some smooth, confident answer that'll just keep them moving on. There are few things she's uncomfortable discussing: the situation with her parents is one of them. So she answers, with a little bit of awkwardness: ]

Yeah. Only child. Big families were apparently a mark of being low-class. [ Which is a) a little bit too revealing of her middle-class background and b) really pretty insulting towards Owen in light of what he just said, so she hastens to add: ] Not that I hold that opinion at all. It - anyway. Why were you away from home?

No offense taken, [ said with a little nod. as for why he was away, Avalon's boring, Oberon's a dick, and humans are fun. but how entirely to phrase that... ]

I mostly spent time by myself, especially after my parents separated. [ Owen can't help but frown a little bit as he continues talking. ] Truth be told, I'd be hesitant in labeling my childhood 'important' or 'influential' in any way.

Really?

[ She frowns, curious. ]

Childhoods have always seemed...I don't know. Inescapable, really. I mean, your entire worldview is shaped when you're a kid, isn't it. All you do as a kid is build yourself up into who you're going to be when you're older.

I suppose that I'm the exception to prove the rule then. [ said very calmly, with a small little shrug. ]

[ She shakes her head. ]

Or you think you're the exception. That doesn't mean you actually are. People are quite good at deceiving themselves.

If I was deceiving myself, I'd be the first to know. [ and he can't help but smile here, a tiny little wry smile. ] Rest assured, Ms. Jones, I am entirely certain in the fact that my childhood was not very influential.

[ A disgruntled noise. ]

How can you be certain, though?

I'm afraid that right now, you'll have to take me at my word.

Hold on. Now I'm really curious.

And I'll tell you eventually. But neither here nor now.

Okay - then when and where?

I hate to sound like I'm brushing you off, but would the end of August work? I have a large project that I'll be working on up until then.

Oh - yeah, that'd work. I guess. No free moments until then?

I can try to find a free moment but I honestly don't know how long the preparations will take.

Well, will you at least tell me what the project is?

[ a big magical spell that's gonna be the end of August player plot. :| ]

Simply some research into certain aspects of this world. It's mostly drudgework over anything else.

Uh huh. What aspects?

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