Walter White (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kingpawn) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2015-09-07 10:03 pm
kingpawn) wrote in maskormenace2015-09-07 10:03 pm
Entry tags:
- harleen quinzel | harley quinn,
- jonathan crane | scarecrow,
- xion | no i,
- † carl grimes | n/a,
- † death the kid | n/a,
- † dorian gray | n/a,
- † edward elric | the fullmetal alchemist,
- † francis urquhart | n/a,
- † frederick chilton | chief of staff!!,
- † hank schrader | n/a,
- † jeff winger | wingman,
- † jesse pinkman | diesel,
- † kitty jones | n/a,
- † lapis lazuli | n/a,
- † mathieu carver | shadow,
- † meetra surik | the exile,
- † mike parker | n/a,
- † riku | darkeater,
- † sarah manning | n/a,
- † teresa | n/a,
- † thomas | n/a,
- † tobias matthews | n/a,
- † wally west | kid flash,
- † walter white | heisenberg,
- † will graham | wolf trap,
- † winry rockbell | n/a
[04] Voice
[ So even though the feed opens up, Walt doesn't talk for a moment or so. There's a sharp inhale and it's accompanied by a piteous cough. And then after a couple minute pause, he starts talking -- sounding rather relaxed. ]
Today was my birthday.
[ A beat. Nonchalant. ]
But it's also my death anniversary. How many people can say that? Their life came a full and complete circle, starting and ending all on the same day? I mean, what are the chances? Pretty crazy, that.
[ Another brief pause. Another follow up cough. When he speaks, his voice is a little strained. ]
I mean like, this whole world. What an insane concept, right? To think that our own individual worlds are just this tiny fraction of all the different worlds out there -- some with crazy powers or vampires or Satan. We have Satan. Does anyone ever stop to think about that? How Satan has a TV show? I mean, I guess...what a better way to say welcome to hell than Satan with his own TV show. I've never actually watched it, mind. But I imagine it probably involves burning people alive.
But following that thought -- I still think this place is hell. I mean, I can't be the only dead guy walking here, can I? And it's definitely not heaven. My therapist called it purgatory once.
[ A beat. ]
Purgatory is kind of accurate. Sometimes he knows what he's talking about. All of us just sitting here and waiting -- to either go home and die for good or to do whatever it is we do here. I mean, we can't die. There's a definite statistical likelihood that we come back to life if we get killed, so do we age? I'm 53 today, but am I not really 53? Am I eternally 52 until I die again? Do I die again? Or do I just live an endless loop of my life -- dying, coming here, dying coming here until some otherworldly being makes up their mind?
Maybe that's what Satan's show is about. Collecting as many of us that belong in hell and dragging us back with him. That's a pretty morbid thought, isn't it?
[ So why is Walt laughing. Why is Walt laughing like it's the most hilarious thing in the world? Why is he laughing at all? What was he laughing at again?
The laughter dies. ]
What was I talking about again? [ But it's lost. ] Anyway, I just want to know. Is there anyone else out there who died? Bonus if you died on your birthday. Might be good to talk about it. Therapeutic. And I'm here to listen. We can talk here or in person. If anyone wants to go with me to get birthdeath day breakfast for dinner, that could be a thing. That we do.
Today was my birthday.
[ A beat. Nonchalant. ]
But it's also my death anniversary. How many people can say that? Their life came a full and complete circle, starting and ending all on the same day? I mean, what are the chances? Pretty crazy, that.
[ Another brief pause. Another follow up cough. When he speaks, his voice is a little strained. ]
I mean like, this whole world. What an insane concept, right? To think that our own individual worlds are just this tiny fraction of all the different worlds out there -- some with crazy powers or vampires or Satan. We have Satan. Does anyone ever stop to think about that? How Satan has a TV show? I mean, I guess...what a better way to say welcome to hell than Satan with his own TV show. I've never actually watched it, mind. But I imagine it probably involves burning people alive.
But following that thought -- I still think this place is hell. I mean, I can't be the only dead guy walking here, can I? And it's definitely not heaven. My therapist called it purgatory once.
[ A beat. ]
Purgatory is kind of accurate. Sometimes he knows what he's talking about. All of us just sitting here and waiting -- to either go home and die for good or to do whatever it is we do here. I mean, we can't die. There's a definite statistical likelihood that we come back to life if we get killed, so do we age? I'm 53 today, but am I not really 53? Am I eternally 52 until I die again? Do I die again? Or do I just live an endless loop of my life -- dying, coming here, dying coming here until some otherworldly being makes up their mind?
Maybe that's what Satan's show is about. Collecting as many of us that belong in hell and dragging us back with him. That's a pretty morbid thought, isn't it?
[ So why is Walt laughing. Why is Walt laughing like it's the most hilarious thing in the world? Why is he laughing at all? What was he laughing at again?
The laughter dies. ]
What was I talking about again? [ But it's lost. ] Anyway, I just want to know. Is there anyone else out there who died? Bonus if you died on your birthday. Might be good to talk about it. Therapeutic. And I'm here to listen. We can talk here or in person. If anyone wants to go with me to get birthdeath day breakfast for dinner, that could be a thing. That we do.
video; private
I turned away.
[ His gaze is distant, unfocused -- lost in his own reverie. ]
I turned away from the church and from God in pursuit of chemistry.
[ And he supposes that could justify the punishment. But it's then that anger seizes him. Why should he be punished for that, though? ]
No. I made my own choices. I was finally satisfied with my life. Even though I lost everything, I died free from the whole world trying to control me. I died doing the things I wanted to do. It's bullshit to say God had any hand in the choices I made. Those choices were mine to make. No one else's. Not my wife. Not my bosses. Not the whole world. Mine, you hear me?
video; private
You say you're satisfied, but I don't see satisfaction, I see bitterness and grief; I see a man who would rather self destruct than spent five minutes talking to someone who can see inside his soul, because he so fears himself.
You can take control of that, Walter. You turned away from God and you think He punished you for it, but you can show God your contempt; not loving Him is punishment enough. You don't have to aspire to Heaven when eternal life, eternal retribution, waits for you below.
Welcome Hell as your salvation, Walter, not your punishment.
video; private
You make it sound like such a simple matter. And for you, it probably is a simple matter to collect men like me. To give them the promise of power as their ticket to changing their lives with only the small oversight of spending eternity in hell.
I don't want eternity. I want the end of everything. Ab...
[ Walt trails off, not really wanting Abduxel to hear his name mentioned in conversation. ]
Matthew mentioned that there is an eventual nothingness for demons like him. So what does a man like me have to do to obtain that? To cease to be?