maskormenace | [04] Voice

[ So even though the feed opens up, Walt doesn't talk for a moment or so. There's a sharp inhale and it's accompanied by a piteous cough. And then after a couple minute pause, he starts talking -- sounding rather relaxed. ]

Today was my birthday.

[ A beat. Nonchalant. ]

But it's also my death anniversary. How many people can say that? Their life came a full and complete circle, starting and ending all on the same day? I mean, what are the chances? Pretty crazy, that.

[ Another brief pause. Another follow up cough. When he speaks, his voice is a little strained. ]

I mean like, this whole world. What an insane concept, right? To think that our own individual worlds are just this tiny fraction of all the different worlds out there -- some with crazy powers or vampires or Satan. We have Satan. Does anyone ever stop to think about that? How Satan has a TV show? I mean, I guess...what a better way to say welcome to hell than Satan with his own TV show. I've never actually watched it, mind. But I imagine it probably involves burning people alive.

But following that thought -- I still think this place is hell. I mean, I can't be the only dead guy walking here, can I? And it's definitely not heaven. My therapist called it purgatory once.

[ A beat. ]

Purgatory is kind of accurate. Sometimes he knows what he's talking about. All of us just sitting here and waiting -- to either go home and die for good or to do whatever it is we do here. I mean, we can't die. There's a definite statistical likelihood that we come back to life if we get killed, so do we age? I'm 53 today, but am I not really 53? Am I eternally 52 until I die again? Do I die again? Or do I just live an endless loop of my life -- dying, coming here, dying coming here until some otherworldly being makes up their mind?

Maybe that's what Satan's show is about. Collecting as many of us that belong in hell and dragging us back with him. That's a pretty morbid thought, isn't it?

[ So why is Walt laughing. Why is Walt laughing like it's the most hilarious thing in the world? Why is he laughing at all? What was he laughing at again?

The laughter dies. ]

What was I talking about again? [ But it's lost. ] Anyway, I just want to know. Is there anyone else out there who died? Bonus if you died on your birthday. Might be good to talk about it. Therapeutic. And I'm here to listen. We can talk here or in person. If anyone wants to go with me to get birthdeath day breakfast for dinner, that could be a thing. That we do.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hallmark doesn't even make a card for that. You don't get a present for something there isn't even a card for. D'ya want pancakes or french toast?

Um. Both? Can you do both? And eggs. And bacon.

Yes, I can do that. I'll be over soon.

Okay.

[ Oh! Wait. Important information that just dawns on him. ]

I'm not home. I'm out. I can privately text you the address, though.

[ What? Where is he pantsless and high if not the comfort of home? He better not be at a barber shop again, so help her. ]

Oh? Okay. Is it going to be a pain to get there?

No, no.

[ And he texts her some address to a fancy hotel in De Chima with a room number. ]

[ DE CHIMA??? Interstate travel counts as a pain, Walter White. ]

Ugh, seriously?! God. Fine, but you'd better be super nice on my birthday.

I'll be there... Pff, I dunno. Eventually.

Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.

I have company. I'll let him know whenever he gets back from....wherever he is.

[ And Walt ain't even bothered by Jesse leaving his side for five minutes. Or hours. He can't tell which by this point. ]

Oh! Okay, I'll get breakfast for him too. See ya.

See you soon.

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