maskormenace | [04] Voice

[04] Voice

[ So even though the feed opens up, Walt doesn't talk for a moment or so. There's a sharp inhale and it's accompanied by a piteous cough. And then after a couple minute pause, he starts talking -- sounding rather relaxed. ]

Today was my birthday.

[ A beat. Nonchalant. ]

But it's also my death anniversary. How many people can say that? Their life came a full and complete circle, starting and ending all on the same day? I mean, what are the chances? Pretty crazy, that.

[ Another brief pause. Another follow up cough. When he speaks, his voice is a little strained. ]

I mean like, this whole world. What an insane concept, right? To think that our own individual worlds are just this tiny fraction of all the different worlds out there -- some with crazy powers or vampires or Satan. We have Satan. Does anyone ever stop to think about that? How Satan has a TV show? I mean, I guess...what a better way to say welcome to hell than Satan with his own TV show. I've never actually watched it, mind. But I imagine it probably involves burning people alive.

But following that thought -- I still think this place is hell. I mean, I can't be the only dead guy walking here, can I? And it's definitely not heaven. My therapist called it purgatory once.

[ A beat. ]

Purgatory is kind of accurate. Sometimes he knows what he's talking about. All of us just sitting here and waiting -- to either go home and die for good or to do whatever it is we do here. I mean, we can't die. There's a definite statistical likelihood that we come back to life if we get killed, so do we age? I'm 53 today, but am I not really 53? Am I eternally 52 until I die again? Do I die again? Or do I just live an endless loop of my life -- dying, coming here, dying coming here until some otherworldly being makes up their mind?

Maybe that's what Satan's show is about. Collecting as many of us that belong in hell and dragging us back with him. That's a pretty morbid thought, isn't it?

[ So why is Walt laughing. Why is Walt laughing like it's the most hilarious thing in the world? Why is he laughing at all? What was he laughing at again?

The laughter dies. ]

What was I talking about again? [ But it's lost. ] Anyway, I just want to know. Is there anyone else out there who died? Bonus if you died on your birthday. Might be good to talk about it. Therapeutic. And I'm here to listen. We can talk here or in person. If anyone wants to go with me to get birthdeath day breakfast for dinner, that could be a thing. That we do.

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I still am adjusting, actually. Mere days— [ and a broke heart ] —after my miraculous revival, I was ported here. Mostly I've managed by trial and error, but I don't know that's especially effective. Not as if there's much choice, though, while trying to keep up with things here.

You sound young. You sound as though you were immortalized young. And I think having that youthful vibe will certainly help with your approach on things. There's a saying that you can't teach old dogs new tricks and all. And it's partially true.

I imagine I'd have a much more difficult time than you adjusting if the situations were reversed. Hell, I can't even read the tiny print on these communicators half the time. I usually have to enlarge the font.

[ Be so grateful you'll never have to face old people problems, Toby. ]

Possibly. It may be a facade, but I'd be lying if I said this eternal youth dulls any of my senses. My mind, heart, and soul have seen decades, even centuries, of weathering; I know a certain way of survival that is unacceptable in this world. More than any other change, this one is the hardest of them all. For me, at least.

Unacceptable to this world, perhaps. But not unacceptable to all of the people in it. To me, specifically. I mean, I've seen a great deal of things in my time. I've taken part in them, too. I'm sure whatever you've done would hardly surprise me when it comes to survival.

If you want to talk about it, I promise I can offer you a good ear.

[ This is Walt. This is Walt once again extending a paternal hand to an immortal who is much older than him but probably looks much younger. Because, you know. He didn't learn his lesson with Abduxel or anything. ]

[Something about Walt's words resonates with Tobias. But then again, he's experienced little to no acceptance or sympathy since turning over two hundred fifty years ago. Before that, his mother was quite overprotective because his father had walked out on them. If any immortal desired a paternal hand, who would do so more than Tobias Matthews?]

Really. [The question sounds more like an answer; his tone is halfway toward incredulous.] You know, it wasn't all that long ago someone promised to be understanding, that they wouldn't be so quick to condemn me for the things I've done. The things I had to do, lest I die.

Well, they kicked me out of the house some time ago. Gave me a little time to move, of course, and at least I actually had somewhere to go. Anyway, the thing is, people have been saying the same thing for years, and the reaction is always the same. Fear. Anger. Hatred. I'll ask you the same question I asked them: what makes you any different, that I won't find in you the same reaction?

Because I've done things. Questionable, horrible things. Things that most of the world would condemn me for. So how, then, could I condemn someone else for doing the same kinds of things?

I'm talking about murder... [ He gives a quick check to the communicator tag name before he adds on: ] Tobias.

And what, really, is there that's worse than that? Torture? Hurting others? Dousing a whole Swear In full of people in fear toxin? Coming to this world, I've seen things. I've seen monsters in men's clothing. And I don't judge them in the least.

I even worked alongside a demon who could toy with people's memories and make them relive their most horrid experiences until he betrayed me. So I'm not sure there's much of anything you could tell me that would turn me away from you.

That demon—you mean Matthew. So you know...

[Presumably they both know his other name, the demon one. There's something else in his tone of voice, something dark and conflicted because his relationship with Abduxel is a complicated one, the source of much torment. In spite of this, Tobias still longs for the demon's acceptance.]

But I find it difficult to confide on these devices, on this network. Especially when I haven't met someone face-to-face, and while there's something to be said about the video function, it's of no use to me. I have no reflection, and cannot be captured on camera or video. So, I believe the only other option is to actually meet. In person.

Yes, I know. I know a great deal about him. I know that he won't hesitate to backstab you, even if you're treating him like gold.

[ But Walt can understand Tobias's hesitance when it comes to the network. The talk about a lack of reflection means that this is yet another supernatural being -- a fact that after seven months in this world, Walt's coming to not even bat an eye at. ]

I would be more than happy to meet with you in person. I can't this evening, but perhaps tomorrow? Or whenever works best for you.

[Though he goes unseen, Tobias scowls at what Walt says of Abduxel, even though the words ring true.]

Your... anniversary, or anniversaries, if you will, demand celebrating. This week seems rather hectic for me; perhaps next week, if you're available one evening.

[Because only at night. Ever.]

Yes, of course. I should be free.

[ If he isn't tied up too much with some drug-related business. ]

Just let me know when you're available and I will make myself so for you.

Thank you. I'll try to see when's good, then.

[OOC: Unsure if you'd wanted maybe a backdated log, a not-backdated log, or something else, but I am up for things if you're interested.]

I would love to do a thing! UMMM let's see. It depends on what kind of Walt you want! Around the time frame they're talking about meeting, Walt and Chilton got into a huge fight which left Walt a bit more ruthless, cruel and cold. He would probably be less concerned about showing off his horrible Heisenberg persona.

But if you want a more jovial and warm Walt, something current would probably be better!

Heads up that I will be hiatusing next weekend for the rest of the month, though. I'll be around from time to time, but very slow. So if you would rather, we can wait until I'm back. But if you don't mind slowness, we can definitely start something now!

Probably something current but new, since I don't mind slowly plugging along. Currently, Toby's in a bad ways with Dorian (but likely will kiss and make up by next week, I think) because of hostage plot complications ~~that aren't Dorian's fault~~, and Toby just wants to feel better and accepted and stuff like that. Which hasn't entirely worked out for him, but I really don't want him to sit on a rooftop and wait for the sun rise, so I'm trying to keep him busy meeting people. I'm honestly not entirely sure what side of Walt I'd like Toby to see since, tbh, I haven't watched Breaking Bad (but I read your app for background!), so I'm pretty open to however any CR between them might turn out.

LOL ughhh. I went searching for some kind of clip of Walt being horrible and then neglected to return to this post. I'M SORRY. But current would be good. Walt would be happy to be a Dad at Toby. When he's not being awful, he's adopting young people and trying to impart fatherly wisdom on them. It could be mutually beneficial for their lonely need to be accepted. And Walt definitely wouldn't judge him. No matter the awful things he had done!

I can set something up dated for today or later. And there's ALWAYS the option to get involved in Walt's business if Toby doesn't mind the world of a drug kingpin. >)

Edited 2015-10-05 23:02 (UTC)

It's ok, we all have our distractions! So, yes, I'd totally be up for a log dated today-ish. Maybe somewhere down the line, Toby can be involved in that sort of thing. I don't doubt he's at least taken drugs before, but he doesn't seem to have anything to do with them by the time he meets Dorian. We'll see where things take us. XD

Ahaha. Lures in with promise of money as long as you keep this old man company. >(

And offering protection might be a pretty sweet deal, too.

BUT. I can get us something written up tomorrow. Gonna be heading to bed pretty soon. Any place in particular you'd want them to meet up? Heropa, De Chima, Maurtia Falls? idk where Toby does most of his business.

He's most familiar with Heropa and only just recently trying to become more acquainted with Maurtia Falls. But since he's been kinda waffling about Dorian at the moment, I think there's a higher chance of meeting in Heropa. No rush, looking forward to CR times.

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