maskormenace | [04] Voice

[ So even though the feed opens up, Walt doesn't talk for a moment or so. There's a sharp inhale and it's accompanied by a piteous cough. And then after a couple minute pause, he starts talking -- sounding rather relaxed. ]

Today was my birthday.

[ A beat. Nonchalant. ]

But it's also my death anniversary. How many people can say that? Their life came a full and complete circle, starting and ending all on the same day? I mean, what are the chances? Pretty crazy, that.

[ Another brief pause. Another follow up cough. When he speaks, his voice is a little strained. ]

I mean like, this whole world. What an insane concept, right? To think that our own individual worlds are just this tiny fraction of all the different worlds out there -- some with crazy powers or vampires or Satan. We have Satan. Does anyone ever stop to think about that? How Satan has a TV show? I mean, I guess...what a better way to say welcome to hell than Satan with his own TV show. I've never actually watched it, mind. But I imagine it probably involves burning people alive.

But following that thought -- I still think this place is hell. I mean, I can't be the only dead guy walking here, can I? And it's definitely not heaven. My therapist called it purgatory once.

[ A beat. ]

Purgatory is kind of accurate. Sometimes he knows what he's talking about. All of us just sitting here and waiting -- to either go home and die for good or to do whatever it is we do here. I mean, we can't die. There's a definite statistical likelihood that we come back to life if we get killed, so do we age? I'm 53 today, but am I not really 53? Am I eternally 52 until I die again? Do I die again? Or do I just live an endless loop of my life -- dying, coming here, dying coming here until some otherworldly being makes up their mind?

Maybe that's what Satan's show is about. Collecting as many of us that belong in hell and dragging us back with him. That's a pretty morbid thought, isn't it?

[ So why is Walt laughing. Why is Walt laughing like it's the most hilarious thing in the world? Why is he laughing at all? What was he laughing at again?

The laughter dies. ]

What was I talking about again? [ But it's lost. ] Anyway, I just want to know. Is there anyone else out there who died? Bonus if you died on your birthday. Might be good to talk about it. Therapeutic. And I'm here to listen. We can talk here or in person. If anyone wants to go with me to get birthdeath day breakfast for dinner, that could be a thing. That we do.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The younger one is really attractive. Does that change anything?

[ Horrified: ]

Oh my God. No.

Alright. I'll take you to be an abnormality in society.

[ She actually gives an ooh of anger. ]

Right, first, what if I'm not even attracted to boys, did you think of that. Second, this whole line of questioning is stupid, stupid, stupid. Emotion doesn't work like that. It's not - oh, meet conditions A, B, and C, and, yeah, that's good for more emotion. Things don't work like that. Emotion follows its own course. Making broad generalization like, oh, young people are more valued - that's idiotic. Maybe for some people, yeah. Maybe not for others. If you stomp down all the details, the picture you're looking at isn't worth anything.

It's just the way things are in my world. And since this one is very similar to mine, I imagine it rings true in this world as well. Youth is valued. Youth is pitied. No matter how horrible their crimes, it will always be the young, attractive people who are misunderstood rather than truly horrible.

What you're describing is not how society as a whole works. It's wonderful and idealistic, but unfortunately you truly are a rarity. The young person who turns to a life of crime is considered a poor, tormented soul whereas an older person is thought to have known better and that they made their bed so they must lie in it.

[ Snappishly: ]

Yeah? 'Cause, you know, I'm a young person who turned to a life of crime after I got told that I made my own bed and had to lie in it and all that. That as a kid, I didn't have a right to a voice in court, that I didn't have the right to accuse adults and social betters of crimes they committed. Youth isn't valued. Youth is brushed aside. It's old people, old powerful entrenched people, who get real voices. While people like me get clucked over, get told, Oh what a pity you've turned out this way, get sighed over pityingly even while we're ground down under the boot of the people who've got the real power in society. So excuse me if I think there are rather more important things than us getting romanticized a bit.