maskormenace | video;

[ The first thing you see....is pumpkins. So many pumpkins. This house is full of pumpkins in various stages of being carved. Those who know Hazel can easily recognize this scene of mass chaos as Residence #11. However, the chalk scribbles on the wall are decidedly not hers. To start with, some of them are in a different language that looks kind of circly.

The personless scene lasts only for a moment before the Doctor scurries into frame, looking a mixture of confused and frowny. He's looking kind of magician, wearing a black coat over a black hoodie. Finally, he's holding an owl by the scruff of it's neck (can you do that with an owl? Who knows, the Doctor's doing so). Said owl is Owlfonso, the skateboarding owl that really doesn't want to be here right now and is desperately trying to peck the Doctor's fingers. ]

I want to clarify first that for once, none of this is my fault. [ except the chalk writing, which is obviously his, but that either a: goes without commenting on or b: the Doctor's forgotten it by now. also wow, that sure is a Scottish accent ] That being said- [ WHAM the camera gets a face full of owl ]

Is this normal? I mean, normal for owls. Is this how I can tell this dimension apart from my dimension? No eyepatches, no goatees, just owls that can suddenly skateboard? [ He backs poor Owlfonso away from the camera, as the Doctor's still got an expression that's pure 'what the hell is this shit' ] Well, skateboarding owls and a postponed perestroika. Spoilers, you're twenty years out of date.

[ pause, frown. The Doctor looks over at poor Owlfonso with a sort of resigned expression. ] The alternate dimension of owls and Communism. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Good luck with that one.

Even if you could, it's not likely you could force it to do what you want it to do -- which I assume is send you home.

Oh ye of little faith.

So sue me, I've been here six years, I've heard this thing before.

And it never really works out.

Six years...I imagine you've given up and become domestic during that time.

I'm a politician, it was a lot less than that, honestly.

You're a politician?

I'm so sorry. I'm sure we can do something about that.

I like being a politician, though.

Again, I'm sure there's something we can do about that.

It doesn't help if I say I'd prefer if you did nothing about it?

They've got you already. I'm sorry, but the brainwashing might be a bit too strong, you're doomed to be a politician forever.

You realize that it is not as bad as someone like you makes it out to be, right?

Actually, it's not a bad job at all.

Who are your friends and family so I can inform them of your terrible brainwashing accident?

[ SORRY MITCHELL, this is a guy who has a thousand plus years of not wanting to be handed power, you're really fricken weird ]

[ LAUGHS INTERNALLY... ]

Well they're...back home? I mean -- I was a politician back there too. It's... that's my job?

[ the correct answer here is "what friends?" ]

Nope, the brainwashing is too deep, you're a lost cause. I hope you're resigned to spending the rest of your life as a government drone.

Well...

[ A sigh, and then, very sarcastically: ]

Oh no.

There, there, I'm sure you'll make do.

Yeah, somehow. I think I'll manage. And what is it...you do, Doctor?

A little bit of everything.

Like a regular renaissance man? Or something more?

An intergalactic renaissance man.

Oh. So you're from space? Like...Star Wars? [ Star Wars was safe, right? Nobody from Star Wars was here right now... right??? ]

Yeah, sure, it's like Star Wars, we'll go with that if you can parse it out that way.

[ His voice pops up sarcastic. He can't help it, when he's treated like an idiot. ]

Yep. That's exactly what I need to get it.

And what does an intergalactic renaissance man do, exactly? Other than "everything".

Everything. [ but, he actually gives Mitchell a real answer now ] A little bit of travelling, a little bit of jiggery-pokery, occasional attempts at a respectable job, this and that.

Jiggery...pokery? The fuck is jiggery-pokery?

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