maskormenace | video;

[ The first thing you see....is pumpkins. So many pumpkins. This house is full of pumpkins in various stages of being carved. Those who know Hazel can easily recognize this scene of mass chaos as Residence #11. However, the chalk scribbles on the wall are decidedly not hers. To start with, some of them are in a different language that looks kind of circly.

The personless scene lasts only for a moment before the Doctor scurries into frame, looking a mixture of confused and frowny. He's looking kind of magician, wearing a black coat over a black hoodie. Finally, he's holding an owl by the scruff of it's neck (can you do that with an owl? Who knows, the Doctor's doing so). Said owl is Owlfonso, the skateboarding owl that really doesn't want to be here right now and is desperately trying to peck the Doctor's fingers. ]

I want to clarify first that for once, none of this is my fault. [ except the chalk writing, which is obviously his, but that either a: goes without commenting on or b: the Doctor's forgotten it by now. also wow, that sure is a Scottish accent ] That being said- [ WHAM the camera gets a face full of owl ]

Is this normal? I mean, normal for owls. Is this how I can tell this dimension apart from my dimension? No eyepatches, no goatees, just owls that can suddenly skateboard? [ He backs poor Owlfonso away from the camera, as the Doctor's still got an expression that's pure 'what the hell is this shit' ] Well, skateboarding owls and a postponed perestroika. Spoilers, you're twenty years out of date.

[ pause, frown. The Doctor looks over at poor Owlfonso with a sort of resigned expression. ] The alternate dimension of owls and Communism. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

But. What does it mean? Is it a rank or a species or what?

A little bit of both. Gallifreyans can become Time Lords, but not all Time Lords are Gallifreyan. In theory, a non-Gallifreyan could become a Time Lord, but I don't know if it's ever happened.

Sounds more like a job to me. What's a Gallifreyan?

Again, yours truly.

You really suck at explaining things.

What part of that was a bad explanation? I think that you really suck at comprehending things.

So Gallifreyan's are just annoying old dudes with no social skills?

Excuse you, some of us are annoying ladies with no social skills.

Oh, right. My bad. Annoying old men and ladies.

Much better. [ he is just straight up being pedantic just to annoy Jeff ]

I rest my case.

So just so I've got this straight, you're a Gallifreyan Time Lord, whatever either of those are, who can travel through dimensions or some crap?

You get there eventually, [ said with a smile. ] Dimensions, time, and space, of course.

Space and time, huh? Sounds pretty similar to the premise of Inspector Spacetime. [He's onto you!]

Inspector what now?

Don't try and play dumb with me. You've clearly just stolen the plot device from it. Y'know. Inspector Spacetime. Some space and time travelling alien with a constable sidekick and one of those red telephone box spaceship things. I dunno, I don't actually watch it.

....

Out of curiosity, can you sue for copyright infringement on your life?

In theory, yeah. But you kinda need someone to sue for that to work.

I wouldn't want to spend time in court anyway, I hate courts. [ which is all kind of a roundabout way of saying man, that's an eerie coincidence and the Doctor's just kind of ??? with regards to Inspector Spacetime ]

[Still pretty sure the Doctor is a faker!!! Anyone could show up here and lie about their identity-- ah crap, why didn't Jeff pretend he was someone cool like Batman or James Bond?!]

Hey, if you had me as a lawyer I'd settle it outta court anyway. I'm a pro.

Are legal certifications cross-dimensional now? Or have you just been stuck here long enough that a law degree sounded good?

Honestly, they're just giving away certificates these days. If you got the qualifications back home then that's enough for them. Seems kinda questionable but I guess it prevents a whole bunch of super powered imPorts stuck in unemployment.

I could be an actual doctor then! [ said with a little laugh ] Doctor Doctor, how's that for confusing?

Are you actually a Doctor though?

Probably!

[ that is a damn terrible answer ]

That would be a no then. See, you have to have actually been a Doctor back home to have any chance of them letting you be one here. And like an actual real Doctor, not just a guy who calls himself Doctor. Or... y'know... Inspector.

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