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[ The first thing you see....is pumpkins. So many pumpkins. This house is full of pumpkins in various stages of being carved. Those who know Hazel can easily recognize this scene of mass chaos as Residence #11. However, the chalk scribbles on the wall are decidedly not hers. To start with, some of them are in a different language that looks kind of circly.

The personless scene lasts only for a moment before the Doctor scurries into frame, looking a mixture of confused and frowny. He's looking kind of magician, wearing a black coat over a black hoodie. Finally, he's holding an owl by the scruff of it's neck (can you do that with an owl? Who knows, the Doctor's doing so). Said owl is Owlfonso, the skateboarding owl that really doesn't want to be here right now and is desperately trying to peck the Doctor's fingers. ]

I want to clarify first that for once, none of this is my fault. [ except the chalk writing, which is obviously his, but that either a: goes without commenting on or b: the Doctor's forgotten it by now. also wow, that sure is a Scottish accent ] That being said- [ WHAM the camera gets a face full of owl ]

Is this normal? I mean, normal for owls. Is this how I can tell this dimension apart from my dimension? No eyepatches, no goatees, just owls that can suddenly skateboard? [ He backs poor Owlfonso away from the camera, as the Doctor's still got an expression that's pure 'what the hell is this shit' ] Well, skateboarding owls and a postponed perestroika. Spoilers, you're twenty years out of date.

[ pause, frown. The Doctor looks over at poor Owlfonso with a sort of resigned expression. ] The alternate dimension of owls and Communism. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Oh, dear. ]

Erm - no. That's not...common for owls here. It doesn't really look like it likes being held like that - you might want to let it go.

He's an owl. He'll tell me if he doesn't like it. [ At this, Owlfonso gives the Doctor a look that's pure 'please put me down.' ]

[ A slight hesitation. This strange Scotsman isn't necessarily crazy, Kitty reminds herself; he's clearly a new arrival, and probably is just unaccustomed to the ways of this world. So, with her politest, most proper accent (which makes her sound like she's from an only somewhat crappy part of London, instead of the laughably absurdly crappy part of London she's actually from): ]

Well...This might also be a change from your dimension, actually. Owls aren't able to speak here. Not unless you've got abilities that - erm - let you speak with birds. Have you got those?

Not like speaking. How human of you, if something speaks, then it's important. [ and cue the eyeroll. ] He can tell me in different ways. He'll make a noise, he'll peck me, he'll squirm out of my hands, there are so many different ways for him to tell me to stop.

[ And...as if on cue, Owlfonso pecks the Doctor in the hand. With a small frown, he sets the owl down. ] See?

[ Okay, that comment annoys her a bit. She still does try to be polite. ]

Well, all right, I'll agree that he does have other means of communication, definitely. But if that's the case, then he's been trying to communicate with you for the past few minutes and you haven't been listening. He's been squirming and pecking at you since you started the broadcast, hasn't he.

[ It's a good thing that someone's trying to be polite...because it sure as hell isn't the Doctor. ]

He should have squirmed harder then. It's not my fault the owl doesn't know how to assert himself.

[ A little more sharply: ]

That's blaming the victim. It absolutely is your fault - as someone bigger and stronger and more powerful than that poor bird, you've got an obligation to be sensitive to its needs. Anyone with power needs to be cognizant of those without it.

The owl's been here longer than I have! He knows what's going on, he knows the ins and outs of this place, and he has a house. In this situation, he's got more power over me.

That's blatantly untrue.

[ She crosses her arms. ]

Even if he has more knowledge than you do, that doesn't mean he has more power. Knowledge can foster power, yeah, but it's not the only determiner of it. You have greater strength than he does, greater size, and greater legal protections. You could hurt him and get nothing more than a slap on the wrist, whereas if he attacked you he could quite possibly be killed for it. I mean - just think back. You manhandled him, and even though he fought he couldn't do a thing about it. No - you're demonstrably in a superior position. So - are you a bully?

Considering that my species doesn't exist on this Earth, I'd argue against that legal protections bit. However! If you're talking about the fact that I'm an imPort, isn't this owl one also?

[ but he can't help but frown a little bit because excuse you, he is not a bully. ]

As for the strength and size bit, you're probably one of those people who thinks that the only way to get what you want is punching. I hate punching.

[ She shakes her head. ]

That owl doesn't get counted as an imPort, no. The courts here only recognize those who can speak up for themselves as being imPorts. That might not be just, but that's the way it is, and just because of that, you're in a superior position, yeah.

And no, I don't think that the only way to get what I want is punching. I don't much care for punching myself, actually. But the fact is that there are plenty of people who are denied power, who are denied a voice, and whose only recourse is violence. Which is why the owl was trying so desperately to peck you. You've got power and privilege, so the owl had to attack from desperation. So I've got to say - in this situation? I'm very much on the owl's side. You'll notice everyone else is, too.

Well this is his house, why's he not an imPort?

[ She's right though. Everybody else is on the owl's side. ] Relative stranger versus the owl that everybody knows, of course you'll be on his side.

We're on his side because you're being a bully!

I am not being a bully! I'm cross! Annoyed, put-out, stuck in this new place, rooming with a pumpkin-collecting owl but mostly cross. And cross doesn't mean bully, cross just means cross.

Cross plus taking that out on something little and defenseless does mean bully, though.

And again, he's not defenseless. He pecked me!

That's crap. That didn't do anything to you.

Point taken, but that doesn't mean he's defenseless. A tiny defense is still a defense.

Honestly, I don't know why you're being so pedantic about this whole thing. [ says the person who's being pedantic about this whole thing..... ]

[ An ugh of frustration - ]

Because I don't like bullies, that's why!

Then it's a good thing I'm not a bully!

Yes you are!

No I'm not!

Prove it! Apologize to the owl.

Fine! [ and the camera swivels to the owl....who is sleeping. ]

Well I'm not going to wake him up.

Well, you're not going to lose your title of bully until you do. So you better wait until he wakes up on his own.