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[rathercommon]

[ On the screen is a magnificent tiger with golden eyes, regarding the camera with quite a bit of what looks to be amusement, if you're prone to anthropomorphizing animals. After a moment, that tiger speaks - and speaks with a very human voice, a light and girlish voice with a South London accent. And who else speaks like that? This is, of course, one Kitty Jones, living up to her name. ]

Hullo, all. Happy - slightly belated - Earth Day. I hadn't known about that holiday last year, so I didn't do a thing for it, but it's really a lovely thing, isn't it? So, a day, late, I'm doing a little charity drive, and I need all of you to participate. Proceeds going to the protection of the leaf-scaled sea snake, because no one ever bloody donates money to help species that aren't cute.

[ The leaf-scaled sea snake is also quite venomous. Y'know. Whatever. ]

So what this consists of is this. I want you to volunteer here, in this post, to answer questions from fans on rumblr. Give me a list of topics you're not willing to talk about, as well as how many questions you're willing to answer. Then your rumblr fans - or enemies, I suppose, maybe some of them will want to trap you in a lie or something - will bid on the opportunity to ask you questions. Whichever fan puts in the highest bid gets the right to ask the first question, then the second-highest bid gets second question, all down until you don't want to answer any more stupid questions. And then all the proceeds go to the sea snakes.

So who's in? Talk about yourself, help the environment. What's not to like?

[ That's all said very, very cheerfully. Then, in a flippant post-script, she adds: ]

Oh, yeah, I'm not dead, by the way.

[ Which is so nice! so kind! such a good way to announce that! a month and a half after she already came back from the dead! nice. ]


[ ooc: this post is just like what it says! You can comment here to have your character get asked dumb questions by rumblr fans. Please tell me the questions you want asked in notes in your comments!! Or I will be making up terrible questions. Fair warning.

edited to add: also if your character would bid to ask other characters shitty questions, feel free to threadjump their thread ]

Comments

[rathercommon]

I don't. Want out.

[ She's quiet a moment. ]

It's just - you two are very... [ Codependent sounds unfair, but... ] Tied up in one another. You're very unlikely to be happy if the other one isn't happy. You know?

[vorbarra]

Try to be less convinced that you're a source of unhappiness.

[rathercommon]

[ She forces a laugh. ]

Sure. But, I mean, realistically, though.

[vorbarra]

[ Dryly, ]

Yes. Realistically.

[rathercommon]

[ Don't give a non-answer to her non-answer! ]

Realistically, I'm not easy.

[vorbarra]

Because that's obviously my most defining criterion in selecting partners?

[rathercommon]

No. Which is why I'm with you. Miles might not feel the same. Lots of people don't.

[vorbarra]

Miles prefers difficult things, [ he stresses. ] He hates things that are too easy. He gets bored.

I'm sorry, Kitty. You're doomed to be stuck with two respectful, functioning men who feel fortunate to have you in their lives.

[rathercommon]

[ She lets out a breath. ...and can't let that pass by without comment. ]

Functioning might be something of a stretch.

[vorbarra]

Should I bring up Dorian for comparison on functioning?

[rathercommon]

[ Sneering: ]

You could bring Dorian up for comparison on man, too, while you're at it.

[vorbarra]

[ He laughs. ]

Right, right. So what's your complaint again?

[rathercommon]

Just that you're both a bit unhinged. In a really sweet way. But unhinged.

[ In another little bubble of self-awareness: ]

Not that I'm really always all that much better myself.

[vorbarra]

So we're all in good company. It's no good if it's unbalanced, with one party more hinged than the other.

Though I'm curious-- how exactly is one 'sweetly unhinged'?

[rathercommon]

Oh, you know. [ A little twitch of her thin tail. ] Serial killers are unhinged, too, in a not-sweet way. Completely forgetting themselves in pursuit of pleasure and dedicating themselves to wickedness. You're like that, just your goals are for others. You do things that are irrational and absurd - but to make the world a better place. Sweetly unhinged. See?

[vorbarra]

[ He snorts. ]

How is making something better ever irrational or absurd? You remind me of the Amestrians we met recently. They believe in something called 'equivalent exchange' -- that you always have to give something to get something. It seems terribly self-centered, to me.

[rathercommon]

Hold on, you're putting words in my mouth, here. I'm not saying that making something better is irrational. You know me and my position on what people ought to give, don't you. I'm saying that certain ways of going about it are.

[vorbarra]

Go on, then. What are those ways?

[rathercommon]

[ With a laugh: ]

You're asking a girl who's a bit mad herself how to be less mad?

[vorbarra]

No, no. I'm asking what are the ways of going about being selfless that you think are a bit mad?

[rathercommon]

Oh, well.

[ A little motion of her tail, reminiscent of a conductor with a baton. ]

You know. Wrecking yourself doing it. Ripping out bits of yourself if it's in service to those who need it. That's madness.

[vorbarra]

Ah.

[ A short pause. ]

That's a particularly Barrayaran madness, yes. I've no defense for that. The idea is supposed to be that they rip out bits and give it back to you, so you're whole in the end. Silly, isn't it?

[rathercommon]

Sweet, I'd say, rather. Really sweet. But also, it depends on a lot of crossing your fingers and hoping that things will work out, doesn't it?

[vorbarra]

More like an immense amount of trust, and faith, I'd say.

[rathercommon]

[ A quick transformation to cat. Too much time in snake form; she's itchy. ]

Is there a difference?