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[socialactivillain]

[ Video switches on to show a man with a ginger ponytail in a hideous green v-neck frowning deeply and looking incredibly disappointed and/or frustrated, sitting on a park bench as dusk settles in.]

Okay, I've been here for less than a day, so would someone mind explaining to me how it is that the United States government can allocate all these funds to keep us imPorts in nicely furnished, comfortable homes in several cities, and expect native businesses and companies to provide us with paid employment, yet its own citizens are still facing what seem like absurd rates of homelessness? Like I said, I only just arrived, but it didn't take me long to find people who have lost their jobs and homes to make way for the growing imPort population.

[ Someone spent his whole first day in Heropa in a park, befriending homeless people. Continuing on, he sighs heavily, as though this is personally wronging and inconveniencing him, not people he doesn't even know. ]

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we're to blame for this. After all, it's not as though it's our fault some unstable technology yanked us from our worlds and lives. Of course this world's government would have to provide for us until we can return home. But every single one of us has the responsibility to give back.

So, what are you doing to help? I'll be taking donations to start up a charity for natives displaced by our presence, if you can't come up with anything on your own.

Comments

[socialactivillain]

...I'm not sure if that's better or worse than him coming back to life and being suddenly younger than Wally.

[airshow]

Is it weird that I'm just kinda used to that stuff by now?

[socialactivillain]

Is it really that common in this place?

[airshow]

Common enough.

[ He taps his fingers on the table, considering telling Piper about the whole alternate universe murder grandpa thing. Might be a bit much, though, on his first day. ]

Hope he didn't give you too hard a time.

[socialactivillain]

He called me an asshole, but that was about the worst of it.

[airshow]

Well, you occasionally are.

[ He says, downright affectionately. ]

[socialactivillain]

That's not the point. And anyway, it's not like you can talk.

[airshow]

Yeah, but I'm a charming and charismatic asshole.

[ The server shows up, at that, to take their orders. James orders a basket of coconut shrimp and a beer. ]

[socialactivillain]

Says who?

[ Piper orders himself crab cakes with a green salad. ]

[airshow]

Me. And I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so I'd know.

[ And he orders a beer for Piper as well. ]

[socialactivillain]

And I'm sure you aren't at all biased.

[ He raises an eyebrow at that, but comments silently with just another sip of his existing beer. ]

[airshow]

What, is it wrong that I have healthy self-esteem?

[socialactivillain]

Healthy, sure. But you go a ways past that sometimes.

[airshow]

Hartley. [ He looks across the table, tipping his head down just so, perfectly sincere. ] If I don't appreciate myself, who will?

[socialactivillain]

[ He can't help but laugh at James' sincerity. ]

You always have been your own biggest fan.

[airshow]

More people oughta practice that. What was I saying, though? Something about Flashes?

[socialactivillain]

How you've been watching tv with a twelve year old Barry Allen?

[airshow]

Oh, yeah. Man, that makes it sound like I have no life, huh?

[socialactivillain]

A little bit, yeah. I take it you're not playing the hero game the government here is so enthusiastic about?

[airshow]

Well, I registered, if that's what you're asking.

[ James waves his hand vaguely. The perks are great! Why draw attention to yourself by not doing it, right? ]

As far as actual superheroics go, though? Not really my style.

[socialactivillain]

I'm still a little dubious about the whole registration thing, myself.

[ He nods, though. ]

I kind of had a feeling. What have you been up to, then?

[airshow]

Y'know, the usual charming rogue stuff, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor... but mostly laying low, here. Which, for the record? Is super boring, so if we wanted to get the gang back together, so to speak, I'm all in. Uh, in a mostly-legal way. Of course.

[ Lies lies lies lies lies, but it's a vague enough story that he doesn't have to explain much of what Piper's missed. Of course, Piper's not dumb, and he'll probably ask for specifics eventually. But. But. ]

[socialactivillain]

You never have been any good at sitting around idly, huh?

[ There's some definite fondness behind his words, and he pauses to sip his beer. ]

Me, you, and Mick? Not a bad idea, actually.

[airshow]

All my ideas are good ideas.

[ Hey, maybe they could even get it right this time. ]

[socialactivillain]

Are they, though?

[ If at first you don't succeed...! ]