maskormenace | 006 | voice

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006 | voice

I’m going to be honest with you here network, I’ve been avoiding you.

It’s not you, it’s me. I just needed some time apart from all the self-congratulating, needy social media bullcrap that this network breeds. I mean, it’s no Rumblr, but sometimes it comes a close second.

Pro tip: if it’s not about me I’m just not interested. [Hopefully that’s a joke, but there’s a big possibility it isn’t.]

But I’m here to extend the olive branch of apology for depriving you of my company for a long ass amount of time, and also remind you that the second season of my show finished airing not so long ago, so buy that shit when it’s on DVD so I can get your money. Or… a very small percentage of it.

[Best salesman ever.]

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Why haven't you been calling me, Kitty? Why? Is this the thanks I get for raising you as my own?

Oh my God, stop.

All I wanted was a little appreciation.

I'll bloody slap you, see if I don't.

I might like that.

Yeah, I'd definitely like it.

Rude, though. This face is too pretty to be slapped.

That's just objectively untrue.

It really isn't. Check out a whole bunch of magazines, I'm in the top most handsome for all of them.

Prettiness doesn't make someone more or less slappable!

That is literally what it does.

Oh, yeah? Then I guess when I slap you it'll be proof you're not that pretty after all.

You don't mean that, do you? [PUPPY POUT :(]

I completely mean it. You've put a challenge out there. I'm responding to it.

It wasn't a challenge! It was a statement of pure fact.

Well, I challenge that.

You're impossible, you know that?

[ That makes her smile. ]

Ooh, thank you. That's a compliment, you know.

It really isn't. Being an annoying brat isn't a compliment!

It's everything I want to be. So I beg to differ.

Yeah well! You're acting like a toddler! You want to be that?

I'm an awfully articulate toddler if that's the case.

Which makes you even more annoying. Know the only time kids aren't annoying? When they shut up.

Okay, that's just rude. To me and also to children.

That's kind of the point seeing as no one actually likes kids anyway.

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