006 | voice

[textualhealing]

I’m going to be honest with you here network, I’ve been avoiding you.

It’s not you, it’s me. I just needed some time apart from all the self-congratulating, needy social media bullcrap that this network breeds. I mean, it’s no Rumblr, but sometimes it comes a close second.

Pro tip: if it’s not about me I’m just not interested. [Hopefully that’s a joke, but there’s a big possibility it isn’t.]

But I’m here to extend the olive branch of apology for depriving you of my company for a long ass amount of time, and also remind you that the second season of my show finished airing not so long ago, so buy that shit when it’s on DVD so I can get your money. Or… a very small percentage of it.

[Best salesman ever.]

Comments

video

[rathercommon]

Feeling lonely, is it?

video

[textualhealing]

Always lonely without you around, Kitty. Where you been? [SO SMOOTH.]

video; out of costume

[deadkord]

Well you're certainly a convincing advertiser.

video; out of clothing-- ok no

[textualhealing]

I'm not getting you a free copy no matter how much you ask.

voice;

[itistolaugh]

I hadn't noticed. Welcome back, I guess?

voice;

[textualhealing]

You're cruel to me.

video;

[brushoff]

You're still here?

video;

[textualhealing]

I know, I know, save your applause. Miss me?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I hear a significant lack of crying out in the audience.

[textualhealing]

Shocked into silence by my beauty, amiright?

video

[huntergames]

[ Oh, yeah... Jeff's show... oops. ]

When was the first season?

[ She's seen maybe half an episode forever ago. ]

video

[textualhealing]

Oh my God, Sasha! Seriously?

[SO OFFENDED.]

You're fired, get out.

[raw]

Hope this was intended to be an example of self-congratulating/needy social media.

[textualhealing]

Nice. You caught the irony. Gold star for you.

[grumbling]

What the hell is Rumblr?

[textualhealing]

Go to rumblr.com and type your name into the search bar. Then let me know what you think rumblr is.

( audio )

[curled]

You're tired of the self-congratulating yet isn't this completely painted in self-interest? Were you aiming for nonchalant, you didn't quite hit your mark.

( audio )

[textualhealing]

Oop, you caught me. Guilty as charged, your moustached Honor.

Voice

[dun_moch]

Apology accepted, Mister Winger. Perhaps you might be interested in offering a discount for your legal services by way of compensation?

[Joking but not really joking.]

Voice

[textualhealing]

Wow, straight in there with the bargaining, huh? I'm not so sure I can cheapen the amazing work I can do, but I might be open to some negotiation.

[So overacted, as if he cares about discounts.]

voice

[cleptes]

Missed you too, darling. [A light tease, but part of Bela is being genuine.]

Everything okay?

voice

[textualhealing]

Aw, I feel so wanted.

Everything's good here, except the whole busy with work thing. How you getting on?

Video

[whopperking]

Come back for the free advertising?

Video

[textualhealing]

Damn straight. Social media is for free advertising and attention, and I'm here for it all.

voice;

[shittybirthday]

And here I was, hoping somethin' good had happened for a change.

[ The flattest, driest tone. ]

voice;

[textualhealing]

Holy shit, you're still here? I thought you got ported out forever ago.