maskormenace | 006 | voice

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006 | voice

I’m going to be honest with you here network, I’ve been avoiding you.

It’s not you, it’s me. I just needed some time apart from all the self-congratulating, needy social media bullcrap that this network breeds. I mean, it’s no Rumblr, but sometimes it comes a close second.

Pro tip: if it’s not about me I’m just not interested. [Hopefully that’s a joke, but there’s a big possibility it isn’t.]

But I’m here to extend the olive branch of apology for depriving you of my company for a long ass amount of time, and also remind you that the second season of my show finished airing not so long ago, so buy that shit when it’s on DVD so I can get your money. Or… a very small percentage of it.

[Best salesman ever.]

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Y-yes, of course! Absolutely!

[ A beat, then very, very quietly: ]

It wasn't my idea.

[They all give in eventually!]

Uh-huh, I figured that much. You gonna drop your boy right in it?

Er... well...

[ If she's going down so is Reggie!! ]

We took good care of the car!

Except it was dirty.

[By Jeff's standards any speck of dirt on his car is considered unclean.]

Reggie didn't clean it!

Blaming it on the boyfriend again? Good, I like that. Life is about finding others in this world to blame for all your faults. You're catching on quick.

[ She begins to shake her head, lifting both hands. ]

N-no! I'm not... I mean...!

It's okay, I won't tell him.

He might see it here, but I won't tell him.

We won't take the car again!

[ They might do it again. ]

Damn right you won't. Not without paying me a rental fee.

Oh, okay— huh?

Rental free?

Fee! As in. Pay me money and you can use it. Pay me lots of money.

I don't have a lot of it... haha...

I'll just take your wage then and not pay you. Fair, right?

How will I get groceries?!

Should have thought about that before stealing cars.

What about Reggie?

I'll probably have him murdered.

That won't be necessary!

You got a better idea?

Y-you can take his pay!

Great idea! I'll do that and let him know you suggested it.

W-what? N-no, wait! It was only a suggestion!

I'll go call him right now. Thaaaanks!

No, wait! Please! Jeff!

[ D8 ]

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