maskormenace

( ooc: this is a pretty ridiculous post, but just chucking this behind a cut in case! Sarissa's kind of flippant and terrible sometimes, so I'm also gently linking an opt out post if there's any topics you'd sooner not come up, or would just prefer to opt out of cr with her generally :]b

content warning: discussion of cults, reference to serial killers, and potentially murder/group suicide/any else terrible that could tie into cults that could come up in the comments. I'll update as necessary. )

username: dropbears.

basically I've been told that unless I manage to successfully build a cult I'm inferior to alarming murderers

as such I'm doing some research into what would most appeal to my impending adoring followers
know a lot of you adore me anyway, but you know, gotta get those still on the fence to lean over this way some more

so

1. What would make you most likely to join a cult?

a — immortality
b — discounts
c — motivational speeches
d — free food
e — sugar gliders
f — other

2. What do you think is most important for an inspiring cult leader to have:

a — statues
b — a catch phrase
c — someone following them and djing a soundtrack to their life wherever they go
d — terrifying giant hair
e — sugar gliders
f — other

3. How do you feel about obeying my every instruction?

a — seriously though
b — don't do it
c — bad decision
d — really you'd regret it
e — sugar gliders
f — other

4. Isn't "The Cult" a 90s movie with witches?

a — no, that's the The Craft, go home
b — stop talking about the 1990s
c — stop talking about pop culture references that aren't from my world
d — my life is hard because I don't enjoy fun things
e — the sisterhood doesn't approve of this false coven
f — other

5. Sugar gliders?

a — all hail our marsupial overlords
b — amazing
c — amazing
d — amazing
e — my opinion is meaningless
f — other

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yessssss I hope the moonshine makes me go blind for a bit.

[ quality gift giving to a quality gift receiver ]

only for three or four days
still tastes pretty tops
hope that's up to your high standards

With moonshine, the standard isn't for how it tastes but how fast it can get you fucked up for how long.
So yes, that sounds like it's up to my lofty standards.

you say that, but it was starting to get pretty popular in Melbourne last i was there
fancy flavours and everything
then again, Melbourne is full of wankers
myself included

Well yes but if it's commercially made, it's not proper moonshine. I visited America during the Prohibition, you know. It was absolutely dreadful but some of the bathtub gin made would take you for a LOOP.
glad to hear you embraced your wanker status btw

"proper moonshine" oh my god
you liked it before it was cool, didn't you

my city might be the best city in the entire world
but we're also a den of bloody wankers, and hipsters, and people who think us being the "multicultural capital of Australia" somehow means there aren't still a bunch of racist dickheads running about, and other people who think talking proper means they gotta sound English all the time
and the ACTORS
like anyone who isn't a) in a soap opera or b) is one of our three actors who appear in everything, even has an acting carrer without leaving the country
I'm happy to be a wanker, honestly, out of that lot

Oh my God
You didn't already know that I'm a massive hipster??
I picked Oasis in your Best Of The 1990s poll, that's hipster sign #1

[ said semi-jokingly...but it's also kind of true ]

I'll have to take your word on that, Men at Work
never really been down under
they sound like a bunch of pricks though

well, Oasis were pretty popular in their time
surely too mainstream too be truly hipster
thought everything else fits

I come from a land down undaaahhh
Where beer does flow and men chundahhhh
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thundahhhhhhh?
You better ruuuuun, you better take cuuhhhvahh

Melbourne's great, it's just you get the people who think they're great by default for being there, you know?
Shame for them that they aren't me, of course, but I'm great regardless of location
Other than them it's pretty great but

hey hang on
you're immortal but you've never been to Australia?

I was born in the 1860s.
No offense but it took you lot a while to shake off the "godless criminals and possible drunks" mantle shoved on you by the good ol'Commonwealth.

Went to Singapore once though, that was nice. I've been to Iceland also.

so if I call you a Golden Oldie are you gonna want to punch me?
oh, come on
no, there was nothing "possible" about us being drunks
we're all drunks to this day
still better than the Kiwis, though

I haven't been to either of those places
well
landing in Singapore airport probably doesn't count

Let's stick with Britpop over Golden Oldie
and also
fuck the Kiwis

[ Dorian has absolutely nothing against New Zealand but knows precisely when to be helpful & tell an entire nation of people to fuck off ]

And yeah, Singapore airport doesn't count.
Iceland would be nice to go to again, though. Could do some proper glacier climbing this time.

that's the spirit
x 2

figures
there was really good food, though

mate glacier climbing sounds amazing
do you reckon they'd let us go do it here?

Probably! They let us travel to different countries here, after all.

huh I figured we'd be under observation of something
shit
I could go to weird other world Australia
maybe not

No.
maybe yes!
travel's fun

maybe I'll look into it
been a while since I wrestled any crocs

do it
do it
do it

I won't tell my sisters you said that
you'll get in trouble

( read: she will definitely tell them
possibly to get him in trouble )

I'm perpetually in trouble
did I tell you about the time I robbed a bank?
case in point

004.

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