text, memeing it up

[rathercommon]

Hullo, all.

So...The days are short, the air is cold (except in Heropa), and all of us are struggling with lingering embarrassment from all those mis-sent texts. So, to give us all a bit of cheer, and in recognition of all the holidays we've constructed to help us deal with winter, I thought we all could give one another a bit of love.

So! How does this work, then? Well -

1. Go ahead and post your name in this post.
2. People respond to you with things they like about you, lovely moments you've shared, et cetera.
3. You go out and respond to others with things you like about them.
4. NO BEING AWFUL. Do NOT give backhanded compliments or secretly troll people or things like that. The point of this is to be good to one another. Go be good to one another!

Comments

[helpline]

I've already got a list of things to bitch at your dad about, I'll add that somewhere in the middle.

[deadtective]

I'd say good thing he's never gonna show up here, but who am I kidding? He could take you anyway.

[helpline]

I don't know, I'm scrappy! I could put up a decent fight!

[deadtective]

He lives with my mom. You've got noooo chance.

[helpline]

Is she the one who you get all your vim and vigor from?

[deadtective]

No, she's the one my dad had to carry out of a house once to keep her from getting in a fistfight with another mom.

[helpline]

The other mom probably had it coming. There's no room for wussies in the PTA, Janice.

[deadtective]

Man, you wish it had been during a PTA meeting. They stopped asking her to come to those.

[helpline]

You've got to tell me what the straw that broke the camel's back was with attending PTA meetings.

[deadtective]

How should I know? I was fucking six the last time I remember her going to a meeting. It was probably just the rumors that she freaked out all the teachers.

[helpline]

Yeah, that sounds like something your mom would do.

[deadtective]

I've never fucking talked about my mom with you before.

[helpline]

But she's your mom and, logically speaking, you've got to get some aspects of your hellion personality from your parents.

[deadtective]

Do they not do skipping a generation out in assfuck space?

[helpline]

So that's a 'why yes Doctor, you're right and I don't want to admit it.'

[deadtective]

I'd never talk shit about my mom by saying that I'm like her, are you fucking kidding?

[helpline]

Well tell me more about her then. Because when you and Josuke eventually have smaller Hazels, I have a feeling you'll be banned from PTA meetings as well.

[deadtective]

I'm not having goddamn kids with anyone.

[she's physically incapable of it, all her insecurities and concerns aside, but Hazel doesn't want to focus on any of that because it would make this whole stupidity uncomfortably serious.

besides, she and Josuke passed their year anniversary without every banging once. even if she could get knocked up, at the rate they moved she'd probably be past menopause by the time it became something to worry about.]

[helpline]

Oh, my mistake. When you and Josuke adopt smaller Hazels.

[ said with an innocent smiiiiiiile as if the problem was just phrasing and not the concept of smaller Hazels in the first place. c: ]

[deadtective]

He tries to adopt fucking anything and they're gonna put him away for animal hoarding. It's not gonna happen.

[notice how she's completely removed herself from this topic, making it entirely about Josuke. she's feeling pretty good about having pulled one over on this conversation.]

[helpline]

I said you and Josuke, you know.

[ he does notice how she's completely removed herself from the topic and is CALLING HAZEL OUT ON IT. ]

[deadtective]

Sure, but he's the one with fifty fucking million pets.

[this just has??? nothing???? to do with her. sorry, grandpa, it's just not happening.]

[helpline]

Right, which is why the next pet's going to be one of those couples decisions. That's a thing, you know, a couple deciding that they're going to adopt a dog together.

[ just said so matter-of-factly like Hazel would have no clue in the first place. ]

[deadtective]

What the hell would you know about couples decisions?

[this is not to say that she's forgotten he was married. this is to say that there's no way in hell that Hazel would ever believe his wife let him have more than a nanosecond of input after the fact on any decision.]

[helpline]

I've had twenty-four years of couples decisions! That's a pretty good track record.

[ One last night with River, his wife, spent with her before her death. Equivalent to twenty-four years in Earth time. ]