Video;

[wizzardly]

Do you suffer from depression?

[good afternoon from this world's resident redheaded Wizzard, who's sitting at an office desk and wearing a green uniform matched with a pointy red hat like that isn't a terrible fashion choice or general life decision. He's attempting to smile. It mostly looks queasy.

Anxiety? Do you have violent thoughts or tendencies? Trouble sleeping? Have you suffered traumatic events in your childhood and/or adulthood, culminating in what most would agree is a rather tragic backstory?

Then perhaps it's time you try - oh, hold on, I had something for this -

[Rincewind pats frantically at his pockets, then bends out of view. When he comes back up, it's to throw a handful of glitter, which shimmers down in a sparkling cloud around, in front of, and ultimately on him. This results in an immediate coughing spell and some swatting at the pieces in his beard.]

- Try - [cough, cough] - psychiatric help!

[cough, curse, gods damn it.]

Er, yes. Conveniently located in Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania, the doctors at the Maurtia Falls Hos- um, the Maurtia Falls Psychiatric... [oh no. Oh no, what is it called? He works there, what is it called, he knows this! Rincewind's smile twitches, a bead of sweat glistening amidst the glitter on his forehead. He glances quickly to the prepared statement on his desk.]

- Maurtia Falls Psychiatric Hospital for Abnormal Conditions!

[phew.]

This advanced hospital is overseen by imPort psychiatrist Dr. Chilton himself, and is staffed with all sorts of talented individuals ready to assist in bringing out the best -[another glance at the paper, a small wince] - you. That you can be.

Whether you need medication, guided psychological interaction, or even just to talk to someone, therapy can work for you. And I can tell you, because I'm, ah, a success story. Myself.

[honestly, why did they leave that in the script.]

No matter the size your mental troubles, Dr. Chilton and the staff of the Maurtia Falls Psychiatric Hospital are here to help. Appointments can always be scheduled through the front desk, but if you've any questions - [please, oh please don't have questions] - I'm here to answer them as well.

Comments

video;

[pyrogue]

[ He doesn't usually go out of his way to talk to Rincewind since, well, Valentine's and then Len bullying the poor guy all the time but... this is a good cause. ]

I'll second this rec. Dr. Chilton's been nothing but good for me.

video;

[wizzardly]

[Rincewind had visibly tensed upon seeing Mick on the screen, but the encouragement surprises a pleasant look from him.]

Oh, thank you, yes. That's the same for me as well, of course. I think I mentioned that. - I did mention that, right? [he'd remembered to add it to the script!]

I didn't realize you were seeing him as well.

video;

[magnitudes]

Does the psychiatric help come with glitter?

video;

[slightlyoffchilt]

No.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Very good, Rincewind.

[wizzardly]

I, er, possibly should have memorized it better.

[but he is soothed by that praise, even managing a smile.]

But there - now you've your own commercial.

[craftpunk]

Well.

You've convinced me.

[wizzardly]

...What, really?

voice;

[thirdprogenitor]

[ there's maybe just the slightest bit of amusement in her voice at this but it still sounds rather bored. ]

Talking? Really? And how exactly does that help one with their problems?

voice;

[wizzardly]

Well -

[Rincewind... pauses. For a while. With his mouth open some.]

...then... they're... not quiet. Anymore. Which is - better. Obviously. Because you can, er, well, you can... know what they are. Yes, that's it exactly - you can know what they are. Because sometimes you don't, until someone talks about them with you.

[morethan084]

[Yeah. Here's a question:]

...Are you okay?

[He seems kind of twitchy and she isn't sure if this guy is always like that, or if this came from Chilton's 'help'.]

[wizzardly]

In general or at this moment?

voice;

[infomodder]

[ LOUD INHALING ]

voice;

[wizzardly]

[WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.]

...Did you leave your recorder on accidentally?

[voice]

[khaleesipls]

I once saw Doctor Chilton dive into a frozen pond to save an orphaned fawn from drowning. He nursed it back to health at his own breast.

[ Ser Jorah's voice rings of conviction, this True Story pitched low in the rough of his throat. ]

[voice]

[wizzardly]

- Jorah.

[have you ever seen a man choke on air? Rincewind sputters and colors, glancing around like he's expecting to see Chilton materialize in the office with him. Probably glowering.]

Haven't you got a more helpful story?

[voice]

[couldbebeautiful]

What about if it's just teen angst bullshit? [So sue her, she's curious, even if she's personally skeptical about this. It's there in her voice, that little note of disbelief. No fucking way.] Are you going to throw glitter at that?

[voice]

[wizzardly]

I'm not one of the doctors, let's get that clear. And no, the glitter's not a part if it.

...I suppose I also should have clarified that therapy helps all sorts of things, not just the abnormal. It could probably help your teenage things too, I don't see why not.

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

This is probably the first time I see a commercial [ well, an attempt at least ] for a Psychiatric Hospital.

[ Video ]

[wizzardly]

[Rincewind looks pleased.]

I was surprised by that myself. You see them for everything else, so why not?

[exceptionalthief]

I take it 'success story' has a very broad interpretation.

[wizzardly]

Oh yes, pithy.

But I'll have you know I actually had sleep issues he helped me with, and they're - better. Now.

[mostly.]

text

[knaval]

hey the person that's holding you at gunpoint let the muzzle dip into the frame a few times there

[wizzardly]

[Rincewind, being Rincewind, actually gives a quick and nervous glance around him before realizing what Riptide meant.]

- I'm not being held hostage!

[onlydoubts]

Does the glitter come standard in the treatment?

[wizzardly]

No! Why do people keep asking that, I was only trying for a sort of - emphasis!

video

[am_i_a_monster]

Are depression, anxiety, trouble sleeping considered abnormal conditions?

Did one of your doctors ask you to do this? It kind of goes against that whole confidentiality thing, doesn't it?

video

[wizzardly]

Oh, well, that depends on how bad they are, i suppose.

And it was mostly my idea. And I'm not just a patient - I'm an employee as well. [said like that's just the most normal thing ever.] So I don't think the confidentiality applies here.

Voice;

[dioception]

And why would one wish to curb violent tendencies? [Says Dio Brando, the King of violent tendencies.]

Voice;

[wizzardly]

[well. That sounds like a question someone who should be a patient would ask.]

Be...cause they tend to be trouble? For everyone unfortunate enough to be involved?

voice;

[heisenbitch]

And the, uh, psychiatrist overseeing this... what'd you call it? "Advanced hospital"? He couldn't advertise this himself because...?

voice;

[wizzardly]

It was my own idea. [defensively.] I don't see why it shouldn't be me.

[Video; Private]

[eeveelutionary]

Do you do memory recovery? For things people forgot thanks to trauma.

[Video; Private]

[wizzardly]

[try not to stare, Rincewind, just try not to stare.]

Oh, er... yes? I believe so? I haven't done that myself, you understand, I'm not a doctor.

[aggressiveapathy]

So. You get a fancy label yet?

[wizzardly]

Oh, here? Still just "orderly" here, I think.

...But I'm "Archchancellor" at the Maurtia Falls library.

[it just means "assistant librarian".]

[beneathbluerafters]

Are you quite serious? Do most therapists advertise themselves like this?

[wizzardly]

No, can you believe it? They market for everything else, but I think we might really be the first for this one.

voice;

[uncledad]

Are you a patron of this hospital?

voice;

[wizzardly]

[he can already sense the smarm.]

I work there. ...And I'm still Dr. Chilton's patient, technically.

But I'm sure there's some point you're trying to imply, so don't let me stop you.

[video]

[itcanwait]

[Despite not having facial features, it's pretty easy to tell he's a little nervous.]

I think...I think I might need to talk to someone? I mean, I fall under a lot of what you just said there.

[video]

[wizzardly]

[Rincewind does have facial features, and it's just as easy to tell that he's also nervous. Mostly about talking to a robot. About therapy.]

Well, that's - exactly what this was aiming to do, of course. Make people aware. - And other. Things. Make everyone aware, I should say, not just people. Um.

You're welcome to seek help, is what I'm actually saying.

text;

[reexamined]

[A bit of a delayed response but:]

Who do I speak to at the front desk to schedule an appointment? Should I message Doctor Chilton himself?

text;

[wizzardly]

That would work. Reggie Mantle is the one who runs the front desk though, you could also go through him. You've plenty of options.

[Voice; Private]

[pale_blue_arrow]

An' how much is this gonna set me back? Or is your operation covered by the government in some way? 'Cause I got issues but I'm, y'know. In high school. Funds are limited.

[Voice; Private]

[wizzardly]

Oh, it's completely covered by the government if you're Registered. I'm not sure what the cost is otherwise, but I'm sure he'd negotiate.

text;

[pillz]

hey, I've been a patient but i didn't get to meet most of the staff on account of

[restraints. confinement. deemed a danger to others.]

overstimulation. ain't been back in a few weeks. how's it going there?

Video 4Eva;

[wizzardly]

Oh, fine. Just fine. And it's no trouble, people do prefer their privacy with these things, no one's expecting for you to go shaking every hand in the building.

But yes, it's all very good. There's even been a remodel.