video;

[cutthegoofs]

[the video cuts to this face, which doesn't seem particularly pleased. he has a cockney accent when he speaks somewhat dryly.]

So, bit of a problem with all this- and by all this I mean this ah... mystery realm, let's call it. Earth? Earth. Not connected to the Astral Plane, is it! I think. Or I'm not, which-

[there's what's clearly a wolf whistle in the background, and camera turns enough to show he's at a cafe and some pair of people in the distance go 'hey there goth guy!' kravitz turns the camera back to himself with a :| face and ignores this]

Which is a wee bit of a problem. I have a theory, this is some sort of purgatory dimension and all that 'please get me out of here' wishing I was making was some monkey's paw bullshit- pardon my cockney.

[he sighs as those cat callers probably waggle their eyebrows.] If only this was a big goof.

Comments

video;

[extremeteenbible]

Eyyyy, it's the death guy!

[ Merle hasn't seen Kravitz in a while, and really only remembers him as Taako's grim reaper boyfriend. But it's always nice to see a friendly face. ]

Good to see ya, haven't seen you in a while. What you been up to?

video;

[cutthegoofs]

Yes, that's my name, 'the death guy.' Don't wear it out- or do, I... have lost control of this attempted joke. Forgive me, Merle, I'm a little out of sorts.

[he is pretty glad to see merle 'died 20 million times' highchurch, even though he doesn't immediately show it since he sighs] I should have known you'd be here... you three always are when trouble is involved.

As for me I'm fine, wonderful really, just stuck with no means of contact in the Astral Plane after nearly losing my existence to forces beyond my comprehension. You know, the usual.

... is Taako here? Is he alright?

video

[shadowglitter]

[ okay yes, astral plane, purgatory dimension, fine. odin will wax poetic about all that cool shit in a minute. for now: ]

Nobody's ever wolf-whistled before calling me a goth guy. It's always "hey, goth guy, you're in my seat" and "get a load of the goth guy with all the ravens" and "ugh, I can't believe we're stuck eating lunch with the goth guy". What's the deal?

video

[cutthegoofs]

[just to make odin feel even worse about his less than choice goth ass a dude who joins the girls yells 'hubba hubba,' because apparently we're in a cartoon. this man sounds suspiciously like an npc voiced by griffin mcelroy.

kravitz opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again to answer when he's not being hubba'd] Well, for starters I'd hardly call you goth, no offense my good man.

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

Earth 19-TS-59, in fact. But not really purgatory, unless you are being specially salty about the place.

[ Video ]

[cutthegoofs]

I am ready to load this entire place up with salt. Just drown it in a few shakers worth. I don't know where to even begin.

[a sigh] You seem knowledgable, do you know why this place is seemingly cut off from the Astral Plane?

video

[shittywizard]

[ !!! ]

[ Taako takes a minute to Prestidigitate himself into looking hot and presentable, because it's his day off and he's been laying around the adventurehaus in sweatpants like a lazy asshole. When he finally switches on his video, his hair is done up, hat on, giant black snake draped around his shoulders. ]

Hey.

[ Nailed it. ]

video

[cutthegoofs]

[kravitz smiles, because yeah pretty glad to see taako? the whole 'being stuck alone in goop purgatory' thing was kind of a bummer. he drops the stupid accents for once]

Taako, it's-

[...] Is ah... that a snake? [after another beat he sounds just kind of impressed. that's some goth ass bullshit and he's into it.] Damn, that's a look.

video; private

[journalkeeper]

Taako, you never introduced me to this friend of yours. It's so funny, he says he's been on the moon.

[ She's very torn between being mad and being happy for him, it's quite odd. ]

video;

[journalkeeper]

[ There's something weirdly familiar about this guy's voice, as if in an alternate universe his voice was her voice and they were both voiced by a 30yo white dude. Weird.

Still, he said "Astral Plane" and Merle and Taako both seem to know him. Well, she didn't listen to Merle's conversation and Taako could have just spotted a cute guy but. You know. ]

I'm afraid this is no goof. I won't, uh, I won't debate the possiblity that it's some monkey's paw bullshit that just seems... more accurate.

video;

[cutthegoofs]

[he also takes a moment to try to place that voice. so familiar, yet so distant. an echo, truly.

also he may just have heard it in passing when he was on the moon for that date but if he did he can't place it.]

Somehow I should have known some monkey's paw bullshit would involve them. [he should probably explain who 'them' is but. no.] I'm sorry, you seem familiar, have we-

[then he squints. squints and sighs] Another one? Don't any of you respect the laws of life and death? I've already cleared Taako and the others with The Raven Queen, I can't keep going back saying 'oh by the way, one of their friends wants to be tacked on for a dozen deaths.'

voice;

[wizzardly]

Purgatory's a theory, I suppose, but I thought the whole point of purgatory was it's supposed to be rather boring. Sort of - grey and melancholic, you know.

This feels more like being a paper clip thrown into some mad god's catch-all drawer.

voice;

[cutthegoofs]

[.... well. that is an excellent point] Alright, you got me there. Paperclip thrown- that's a good one. [he sounds impressed??]

Next theory then, dragged by some powerful entity to perform for entertainment?

video

[hellosirs]

[ Huh. He's talking about the Astral Plane, seems to know the others, and Taako went out of sweatpants-mode for him. Interesting. This needs further investigation!

... That said, the World's Greatest Detective is not fooled one bit by that fakey accent. ]

Oh, it's okay to swear here, sir! Nobody will scold you for it, and 'bullshit' is pretty mild for a swear, anyway. I'd say this is more like a demiplane or a pocket dimension situation rather than a purgatory, though. That implies some kind of intent behind the selection of people, and it's been pretty randomized, so far.

video

[cutthegoofs]

[ok talk to your voice father about it agnus?? kravitz doesn't look like a young boy telling him swearing is ok sways him much. he's also not exactly used to dealing with kids. oh goodness. at least this one seemed smart??

really smart actually.] A pocket dimension... oh great. That does make more sense, just- [he pinches the bridge of his nose.] The Raven Queen is not going to be happy about all this. I'm going to have so much clean up, like those three didn't make things complicated enough.

Ah, wait, so this is random? Why do you say that?

Voice

[bindsthedead]

This world is definitely in Life, not Death or some sort of in-between place. Beyond that, I can't say. None of us can leave it, in body or spirit.

Voice

[cutthegoofs]

[finally someone who's making some sense, to him at least.] Seems so, besides this... nanites? Rather big spit in the face of nature, ain't it? Deciding no, this particular lot of people can just come right on back from beyond death's door, like that doesn't make a ton of paperwork for the rest of us.

[youresovein]

[ well, if it's good enough for the catcallers: ]

Hey there, goth guy.

[ he can't help it. well, he could. he just doesn't want to. ]

So which is it? Purgatory, or ironic punishment for a lack of specificity in your wishes?

[cutthegoofs]

[as long as there's no wolf whistling]

The lot of you here are hung up on goth subculture, aren't you?

[at least lestat is more goth than odin. he sighs]

I'm leaning towards ironic coincidence that may or may not be the fault of trouble makers who shall not be named.

Video

[craftpunk]

Your cockney is terrible.

[ Says a helmet. A helmet with no accent.

Yikes. ]

How much do you know about purgatory? You're kind of stuck here no matter what, but I don't know whether to compare it to a first circle for you, or if this is more of an Elysian Fields sort of thing you're expecting.

Video

[cutthegoofs]

[um??? he looks slightly shocked by this condemnation of his bad cockney.] Well, it- c'mon now, it's not that bad. Just a little rusty right now.

[ahem. back to serious shit] Oh, well, I meant more a general definition purgatory. Not sure what else to call this place, maybe a blemish on the face of the natural order of life and death? Little dramatic for a place you can buy a milkshake around the corner, though.

video

[knaval]

[ALSO EXTREMELY ENGLISH ACCENTED:] Naw, I almost died at home and I'm definitely alive, before coming here again. Being teleported isn't really that hard of a concept to grasp?

video

[cutthegoofs]

[...... fuck he's really impressed by this accent. and intimidated.]

It- alright, we can talk about all that in a moment, that is an excellent accent. Is it natural? What's your secret?

video »

[eloquentness]

[ a goth English guy.... who's mentioning the Astral Plane....

Iris may not know a lot about alternate dimensions, but she does know one thing: Astral Planes usually have the words "snape" and "married" somewhere in there. ]

You sure you're okay, buddy? [ she means it, too. ] People don't usually mention the "Astral Plane" in everyday conversation.

video »

[cutthegoofs]

[this may be the absolute best reaction to this i have ever seen, thank you so much.

he assumes she understands the Very Important Gravity of the astral plane and not snape brides or whatever, so he just sighs.] Okay is a big word right now, with a lot of meanings that have nothing to do with what I am. Which is not okay. I don't know why I had to be roundabout over it.

Apparently people here rarely mention the Astral Plane at all, because we're currently in some sort of godless wasteland. [...] Well, wasteland is harsh, but godless isn't. Please tell me you respect the laws of nature and haven't died a few dozen times.

video

[fehus]

You probably know it's not a big goof by now, so, um.

[if Kravitz can sense that kind of thing, this boy is dead. extremely, very, extraordinarily dead, as in multiple-dozens of deaths dead. oddly, he's just sort of calmly eating yogurt, instead of being extremely dead, though]

[if he can't sense that kind of thing, well. here's a blond teen calmly eating yogurt]

Do you need any other help? With settling in or whatever. I don't know ass about Astrals, but I know some stuff about being dumped in this place.

video

[cutthegoofs]

[oh he can, and his face is Not Impressed.]

Another one? For goodness sake- I swear if you're part of Taako's party too I am going to have so many words. Do you understand? Words. Not nice words either, cross words, not the puzzles.

audio

[devoutish]

[Hello, fellow cockney-accented dude, have another one of your brethren.]

Don't hear your sort of voice often around here; hello.