maskormenace | 001

001 | Video

Okay, so this superhero gig? Best. Thing. Ever!

[Each word is accompanied by animated hand gestures and unnecessary head bobbing. Better get used to it.]

Yo, this is frickin’ awesome! I mean, I wanted to defend the law and all, but this? This is better than all the wet dreams I’ve ever had! And, phew! I’ve had some great ones. Madonna? She may be old, but that chick can get it.

[Why is he gesturing to the viewer like he won an Oscar or something? What the hell is his problem?]

Some guys wouldn’t be caught dead walking around in spandex and a pair of tighty-whities, but… You can’t deny that this bodacious badonkadonk-

[Asher sets the device on the table in front of him, doing a twirl for the camera. Oh god, is that a booty pop? It is. Someone stop this man.]

Would look great in a supersuit.

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You know, there are children who use this network. [He's probably older than her, but Sabriel's going to talk to him like he's younger, anyway.]

So please, mind your language. And practical clothing is more suitable for heroics- it's easier to move in.

Okay, seeing as there's actual psychopaths out there, I'm probably not the worst thing they've seen. Let's be honest.

And hey, haven't you ever seen those old jazzercise tapes? Those folks wear spandex for a reason, aite. You can do your duty and that shit hugs the booty.

No, I haven't. Is 'jazzercise' even a word? [Actually, Sabriel isn't completely sure what he means by 'tapes' either.] And I'm sorry, but I've always found armor to be preferable. People generally aren't trying to attack you while you exercise.

But if you are serious about this... how much training have you had? And are you at all familiar with your powers?

Have you never heard of-

[Asher immediately touches his face. Oh no.

It's happening.]

I'm getting old. Damn it!

Well, you're obviously older than me, even if you don't act like it. [Although Sabriel is eighteen- most imPorts are older than her.]

But to be honest, I haven't heard of most things people here are familiar with.

Edited 2015-04-14 07:09 (UTC)

For your information, I'm super, super, duper mature!

["I'm the most grown-up grown-up ever!"]

Like, the king of maturity.

[wow he's folding his arms he got hella defensive about that]

Oh! Are you from... Alaska, or something? I heard that they aren't as heavy on the technology stuff there. Plus, that's where Sarah Palin's from! She's one of those fine, foxy old ladies, but... Eh. That's pretty much it.

[Complletely deadpan.] Really.

I don't think Alaska even exists where I'm from. Of course, the United states doesn't either.

What?

[okay

okay

the gears are turning in his head and AHA HE'S FIGURED IT OUT-]

Oh my god.

You're from North Korea!

I don't even know where that is! [And Sabriel is really starting to lose her patience.]

Technically, I'm from the Old Kingdom, but I attended school in Ancelstierre. [AKA 1920s england with the serial numbers filed off.]

You're going to have to be more specific.

[Monarchies, which ones are still left... Canada. Canada right?! Is Canada a monarchy

he might also be a little tipsy fyi]

I don't know which Kingdom you're talkin' about. Never heard of that one.

That's it's name. The Old Kingdom. And you've never heard of it because it probably doesn't exist where you're from.

[This kind of thing is hard for Asher to wrap his head around. He hasn't met any non-humans as of yet, nobody's outed themselves as an alien at the moment, but...

How strange it is, to know that your world, the one you've believed so fully in, isn't the only one out there.]

So... Are you from like, an alternate dimension, or what?

Alternate to you, perhaps- to me, it's home. But no one on this network is actually from this world.

[Asher is about to fire back with more nonsense, but what she's saying does make sense.

This world of superheroes isn't his, nobody has strange abilities or powers where he's from.

They're just human.]

Nobody, huh?

[Quietly, ruefully:]

I guess that's why they call us ImPorts.

No one from this world has any powers. We're the only ones that do, and that makes some people nervous, even though most see us as heroes and protectors. [Still, now that he seems to be taking things seriously, Sabriel's tone is a lot softer.]

And I think they call us ImPorts because we were brought here by a device called the Porter. Which is apparently how some people got their powers- although I've always been a mage.

["And I've always been human."

He wants to say, but he doesn't.]

I can understand that.

A bunch of weirdoes show up outta nowhere, and get all these powers that they don't have. Some people mean well, but a lot of 'em are dicks too.

[He nods, taking in what she has to say.]

I'll do my best to be good. To do good.

Even if these powers'll take some getting used to.

I misread you- you do have a grasp on the situation. [It's praise, and not particularly grudging.]

If you know what your powers are- there are a lot of us, and we all have different abilities. Plenty of people are willing to help others learn how to powers- although unless yours are tied to magic or death, I probably won't be able to help you.

["I misread you."

Three simple words, but no matter how simple they are, they matter. Asher's overcome by a strange feeling that he attempts to quell within himself: a brief flutter of happiness. Different from the bursts of enthusiasm he normally experiences, the emotion is subtle, fleeting.]

Nah, it's cool! I'll be able to figure 'em out.

I mean, I was able to juggle law school, working at this kickass law firm, and being unbelievably awesome. I think I can handle it.

Are you sure? I'm sure you'll do just fine juggling responsibilities, but mastering abilities can be tricky.

It's gonna be tricky, but I have to do it.

[If he wants to survive, right?

There are dangerous people here.]

Don't worry about it! I'll figure it out. Maybe I'll take lessons from a pro!

Then I wish you the best of luck. [She means it. For a lawyer, he doesn't seem that bright, but at least he means well.]

What powers did you receive? I know the Xavier Institute offers lessons.

Superstrength! And, somethin' else? Dang, I forgot. I read the file and chugged a bunch of beers after. I was celebrating! Yeah.

[Asher is eager and his language is definitely juvenile, and while his usual shenanigans are immature, he knows the law pretty well and can use that knowledge to aid him in the courtroom.

He just gets caught up in this whole cool-guy facade- He tries far too hard to be liked.]

Xavier Institute, huh? I'll look up locations and times and stuff. There are two kids in my house, so...

I don't know how I feel about leavin' 'em alone at night.

Find a nanny? Or a babysitter? That's what they're called here, right? Or take them along. Maybe they could learn something too.

And I'd suggest not drinking anymore alcohol until you've got a grip on your powers. For safety's sake.

I don't know if I could trust anybody with these guys just yet.

[This girls seems alright, though.]

I guess that's a good idea.

[As disappointed as Asher sounds, he knows it's the truth. Superstrength can be a pretty lethal power.]

You've been hella helpful. Thanks for that.

What's your name?

Most people on the network are all right.

And it's fine- my name is Sabriel.

(no subject)

moneyballer - 2015-05-06 04:40 (UTC) - Expand

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