Audio --> Video

[buildsfriends]

I AM ON THE RADIO

Deet deet deet, boop boop beep boop. But-tons but-tons...

[The video comes on but it's just a shot of the top half of his helmet and the sky above because he's holding his comm like a walkie-talkie.

He puts on a 'authoritative' voice.] Hello. Yes. This is Captain General Fourth Class Caboose. I need you to deliver to me at least fourteen new friends, stat. ASAP, and...BYOB. NASDAQ. Over and out and in, amen.








[...the video continues with just a shot of his armored foot on a grubby sidewalk and his voice further off.]

OH MY GOD FRECKLES LOOK! An outside party!

[A grating mechanical voice answers:] Hostiles detected.

Comments

ok im done

[worstever]

Caboose, YOU NEED TO NOT SHOOT ANYONE.

[buildsfriends]

Agent Washington! [Chipper! Even moreso than usual. He's happy to hear from him.] There you are! I thought you were maybe dead but it's good you're not dead.

[worstever]

No, Caboose. I'm fine.

[They can talk about that later. It could be meaningful, or, you know, it's Caboose, maybe back home Wash was just away for longer than five minutes and Caboose got worried.]

Freckles? I need you to -- Caboose, does he know down? Freckles, DOWN.

[buildsfriends]

Hostile forces inbound.

EVERYBODY HERE HAS A GUN

[worstever]

[Oh jesus christ. Maybe he should let Freckles stay armed.]

Caboose, can you tell me what your new friends at the party are doing?

[buildsfriends]

WE ARE MAKING PAINTINGS ON A WALL

I AM DOING ARTS AND CRAFTS

[shkashkashka- kkssshhht yup that's a spray paint noise]

[worstever]

Just...

Keep doing that, alright?

[At this point, Caboose getting arrested for defacing property might be the safest option for everyone involved. Even if Wash'll have to bail him out. Because of course he will.]

And whatever you do, stay. Put.

[buildsfriends]

Okay but once I'm done I need to go get some juice at the store for my new house. [he's so responsible]

[worstever]

If you tell me where your house is, I can bring you juice.

[Bribery!]

[buildsfriends]

My house is between two other houses and there is a street nearby.......some weird cars...

[worstever]

[Fuck it. Trying to pinpoint him is hopeless. He's throwing his roommates to the dogs.]

If I tell you where Church is, do you think you could try to look for it?

[There's no way Caboose can figure out how to get there on his own, but maybe it'll walk him into a landmark.]

[buildsfriends]

I WILL ALWAYS LOOK FOR CHURCH

I WILL USE MY BEST FRIEND SENSE AND FOLLOW THE SOUND OF HIS LOVE FOR ME

[worstever]

[A little later after they've at least got a bead on Maurtia Falls.]

Okay, forget about all of that, alright? I'm coming to find you. [Enunciating, as though it'll somehow help it get through:] I just need to know where you are.

[bestsword]

This is your fault. Somehow, it's your fault.

[worstever]

HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY BE MY FAULT.

[bestsword]

You're the odd one out! You're the one claiming to be blue team with us!

[GROUP BLAME TO DEFECT SOLO BLAME. WELCOME TO IT, WASH.]

[worstever]

[WHO TATTLED. WAS IT DIPPER.]

When the hell did I say that?!

Look -- it doesn't matter right now. Focus on finding out where Caboose is.

[bestsword]

Dude, I'm trying, if you actually do know us you know how fucking hard it is to get this kinda information from him. He keeps saying something about me being on the ground or some shit.

[worstever]

So your first thought was to yell at me about it!?

[bestsword]

Do you see Church responding anywhere for me to yell at?!

[worstever]

-- Hang on.

Church might actually be able to talk to him. If he can go five minutes without hanging up, that is.

[bestsword]

Yyyyeah, somehow I don't see that happening very easily.

Or at all.

[buildsfriends]

WHERE IS CHURCH

[worstever]

[Oh god. He chummed the waters and now the sharks are here.]

Hang on. I'll get him for you, okay?

[fuckai]

[Distantly, from another room in the house because oh my fucking god he heard his name why did he hear his name whY IS WASHINGTON GETTING HIM WHY IS THIS HIS LIFE]

NO, FUCK OFF!