maskormenace | Recent Entries

I have a question for the network about the power nullifying bracelets

imPorts on probation are equipped with them, I know that much but
can imPorts voluntarily use them if they want one?
Can they buy them? Is that posible?

If not, are there any other options on the market?
Thanks guys

wingsit

[ at a ridiculous hour of the night, an anonymous text, ]

What are the best ways to ask for help? I don't think I'm coping very well here but I don't know what to do about it. Thank you

maskormods

THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2017Acts of forgiveness has softened the imPort image -- in no small part because of the recent spats of violence and aggression directed against imPorts. But many are looking towards the future; excitement is beginning to ripple over the next Swearing-In. Rumor has it none other than Daenerys Targaryen is heading the event.

UNDER THE WEATHER
As seen on local Heropan television:
Newcomer imPort Eddison Tollett made his first sensation on the internet, right on his first day on the job at De Chima Channel Six News! His position as a weatherman led to some very interesting forecasts, while wearing some very heavy winter black clothing.

Some choice moments:

"Early morning you will get fog here. Congratulations on not seeing anything, I guess."

"This coming Sunday there will be rain. Then why bother calling it Sunday, are you trying to make things worst?"

And the ever controversial:

"Monday comes the chance of rain. All the gods like to piss on us all."

And piss they did.

KEN U D33G IT
As seen in celebrity gossip blogs and TMI Magazine:
Love is brewing: boss and employee - secret romance?

To everyone's surprise, imPort Ken Kaneki, known ghoul and coffee shop owner, was seen together with one of his employees, D33. Although little is known about the mysterious D33, the idea of a boss-employee relationship (as well as an inter-species relationship) has raised many eyebrows, and fans seem to be both quite amazed and surprised by the idea!

The two were seen at the cinema together viewing the hit movie, "Dusk", which many fans claim to be a sign of its own considering that the movie tells the tale of a forbidden and heated romance between a Vampire and a Human.

"I'm pretty sure I've seen them holding hands!" 16-year-old Vanessa Rogers says enthusiastically on a video uploaded to BlueTube under her account. Many photographs of Kaneki and D33 have been uploaded to the "Kennibals" website reporting this whole event, and they show the two exiting the theater once the movie was over and heading to the beach together.

Fans guarantee romance is in the air and late summer love will prevail!

[ Many pictures of Kaneki and D33 at the movies (while watching Twilight Dusk) and at the beach follow. ]

NAY, WE ARE BUTT MEN
As seen on television, in De Chima newspapers, Bwitter, and on Rumblr:
A larger than life homage to Ambassador Sam Merlotte’s derrière became a social media sensation overnight after it appeared outside of Merlotte’s under mysterious circumstances. The bronze statue, which immortalized the Ambassador’s naked bottom in stunning detail, has since been removed, but not before photos of locals paying tribute to the artwork went viral on bwitter under #ambASSador. Doctored pictures of the statue touring the world and even traveling through time and space have continued to surface long after the original work vanished, fueling wild speculation about its fate.

Will the statue return once its pilgrimage is complete? Only time will tell.

CARTOON NETWERK
As seen on Bwitter:
Rumor has it that a new animated show starring the uncanny likenesses of imPorts will be airing this fall. An alleged cast list has been leaked with the following names:
Don Smurfy
Sad Weeney
Mina Squelcher
Hinders
Juice Dane
Ron Soot
Sandy Bark
Tio Mando
Thrice
Red Ivy
Kaan Cannibal
Ripe Hide

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from FULVOUS to EBURNEAN, because all is well if you squint.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

REMINDER: please use the designated text box when writing our your submissions.

articulations

[ Leia is currently on the move, as the video feed connects to the network. The camera is a bit shaky and she's pausing to huff out a breath to blow some stray hair off her cheek that falls in front of her face. Braided and pulled to the side, the braid drapes over the front of her shoulder, long from all her years of growing out her hair on Alderaan, never once cutting it. ]

I only have a few questions. [ One glance at the screen and then she's looking away, like she's looking around, momentarily lost, confused. The camera then turns so it's facing out in front of her. ] Actually, I can't help but wonder if this is a mere coincidence or if it was done on purpose.

First things first— [ Aaaannnnd, she's on the move again. ] —baked goods. I'm currently in De Chima, is there a place nearby that specializes in baked go— excuse you! Hey!

[ Leia's jumping back out of the way of a bicyclist. They even have the nerve to ding their little bell at her; reminds her of an offended droid. Where's Threepio when she needs him? ]

Watch where you're going! I was walking here— worse than a pushy Jawa...never mind. [ Muttering. ] Anyway, if you hadn't noticed, I'm a little lost.

Princess Palace, can someone tell me if I'm even going in the right direction? I would appreciate the help. This communicator has an awful navigation system installed on it.

cadbane

Don't you all feel very restricted not being able to easily take a ship to other planets? There are always unknown regions but this? Just this one tiny planet you're all stuck on and you can barely even get to your own moon?

It looks like some of my kind have even visited this planet and still you're no more advanced than flying around your own planet.

The technology here leaves a lot to be desired.

versusseeker

hey guys

[You might not be able to tell this from the text alone - but it's a nervous one. Red isn't used to talking much, even when it's not out loud - it's just plain hard for him. And that's made it pretty hard for him to make friends - and not just in this world. It's something that Red has always struggled with. Forming connections with Pokémon - animals, even? That's always been easy - even more so now that he can actually talk to them. The problem is is that he still can't talk to just regular old people.]

looking 4 frnds

[No, that's not enough. He knows that's not enough. He has to say more or they're not gonna get it - deep breaths, Red.

[Alright. Here it goes.]

i dnt tlk much
can b hard 2 make them
but i have pkmn

[Spell it out, Red.]

pokemon**
theyre cool if u wnt 2 see them

i thnk i am p nice
try 2 b

[With that, he lets the post go - but, a moment later, an edit appears:]

i don't have to type that way if you don't like it.

journalkeeper

[ On screen is a middle aged woman rocking the modern/50s mashup aesthetic of this world in a very dignified and elegant sort of way. She sits in the deck chair of the backyard of Maurtia Falls #4 like it’s a throne. ]

It’s been roughly a month since I’ve arrived in this world -- I realize some of you may be newer and, uh, quite a few of you have been here for some time. In the month since I’ve arrived, I’ve learned a lot about this world, but I feel as though I’ve only just scratched the surface.

[ She pauses, thinking carefully over her next words. ]

The people native to this world either seem to put us on a very high pedestal, almost to the point of worship -- or we’re hated and viewed as a danger to the people here, with little sentiment in between. None of us asked to be here, I understand that, believe me. But for most of them? Neither did they. Even if we don’t, uh, become ‘heroes’, we have a responsibility not to make things worse at the very --

[ She jumps, stopping mid-sentence very abruptly, and looks down at something not visible on camera. Then she pinches the bridge of her nose, takes a deep breath, turns towards Maurtia Falls #3’s direction and: ]

TAAKO! Taako, please come get Taylor Swift off my leg!

She's just showing affection! Or trying to eat you. [ A pointy wizard hat and giant blond ponytail block the camera for a minute, before he extracts the giant black snake from his boss's leg. ] We're still kinda working on that. [ He peers into the camera. ] Is this thing on? Do any of you know anything about training snakes?

I could probably train a snake. I’ve got Animal Handling, you know, [ Magnus says for what must be the fiftieth time since Taako’s known him. Magnus is, naturally, in the background, climbing over the fence instead of just going through the goddamn door for no apparent reason other than the fact that he’s big enough to do it pretty easily and he doesn’t like being left out when everyone else is hanging out without him. There’s a creak from the fence. ]

Hey, your fence is kinda shitty, just for the record. I can fix it later. Anyway, I got some shit from the dollar store. [ He hurls two pairs of shutter shades at Lucretia and Taako, in blue and green respectively, before donning his own red pair. ] Now you can look super cool while you ask everyone about… uh… [ He leans over Lucretia’s shoulder to peer into the camera, all up in her personal space. ] What are we talking about?

[ Lucretia just barely catches the thrown shades, fumbling them a little in surprise. She absolutely does not put them on, though. Mild exasperation is coming off her in waves. ] As much as I appreciate the, uh, gift, Magnus, I was addressing the Network over a matter of some importance -- [ She pauses, as if realizing the futility of trying to continue with these chucklefucks getting all up in her business. She should cut her losses before any further affront to her dignity. ] But congratulations, it's now about snakes. Yes, snakes. Someone on this thing please tell Taako to put his in a tank, won't you?

((OOC: Blue is Lucretia, Green is Taako, Red is Magnus!))

the_admin

I feel it only sporting to warn you that I am going to be re-routing a small percentage of funds from various bank accounts in the next forty-eight hours.

I have little interest in hitting the personal accounts of my fellow imPorts, but those of you with large enough holdings in corporations probably won't miss much. Still, if you can make it a significant hassle I'll probably move on to softer targets.

[ There is a brief pause and then a quick follow-up. ]

Does anyone have a recommendation for a good tea cafe?

[ Because why wouldn't you give people a sporting chance to protect their money and ask about tea in the same message? ]

[OOC: Couple of notes:

1) Harold is literally only going to be getting very small sums from any one account. Like ... literal pocket change, as he is signifcantly capped for the amount he can purloin in a month.

2) From a PC perspective this is entirely opt-in. I have no expectation of Harold hitting ANY PC accounts, no matter what he says ICly, be they personal or corporate. However, if anyone would like to do something with this, feel free to hit me up here or if you want to talk specifics, PM me at

the_admin

3) This is more of a lark, than any serious data breach. Bear eats expensive kibble!! ]

socialactivillain

I need a list of about 80 or 90 pet names, if anybody has any suggestions.

Alternatively, I'm taking opinions on when it's not worth it to try to name individual animals anymore, and just refer to them as a collective.

governorkang

I knew about Father's and Mother's Day. I didn't know a Grandparents Day was coming up or even existed until I heard it mentioned during lunch earlier, and I've been here for three years.

ImPort parents seem to be a small group. I can't be the only grandparent to have been brought here, though.

[He certainly doesn't look old enough to be a grandparent. At least, by human appearances.]

There must be at least one other.

14words

[When the video comes on it's pointed to the ground, then turns to a dog. A little dog, like some sort of fluffy little thing that just pants as it stares at the camera.

It inches forward. A voice is heard, extremely level and composed.] Do not.

[The dog inches forward again. The voice behind the camera remains the same.] I am taping your crimes, do you really have no shame?

[Apparently not, because the dog yaps once then starts chewing on the fairly expensive looking shoe of the camera man. The camera man sighs as a weird, distorted snort is heard behind him. He reaches down and lifts up the dog, who seems extremely pleased and starts licking his fingers.]

'So he brought the people down to the water. And the Lord said to Gideon, "You shall separate everyone who laps the water with his tongue as a dog laps, as well as everyone who kneels to drink."' [The dog keeps licking. The camera man sighs.] You don't care, I see. Very well. It isn't your place in the tapestry of fate to care.

But for the time being it is mine to make sure you do not cause harm to yourself or my shoes. [The dog wiggles out of his grip and fucks off. He sighs and shuts off the camera before giving any useful information.]

garotted

So I need a job. I don't do the government thing, and it seems like Magnus has been an open fucking book about who we are, so you may as well know that I'm another dead teenage Viking warrior or whatever he's been telling people.

I'm probably stronger and tougher than you are, and I'm known for kicking ass first and asking questions later, so unless interns battle to the death for their positions here, office-work is probably right out.

I'd rather work for another imPort. I don't have a specific place I'm staying, so I can go anywhere if I have to.

Also, camping supplies stores, anyone know a good one?

quickfingers

[So Peter's coming at you vlog style, sitting on a bench with his earbuds in before he pulls them out and loops the cord around his neck to have them stay put. He's adapted pretty well to the whole new age technology thing bit by bit, but talking into a phone camera is mega weird. Sorry for weird angles, he's working this shit out.]

Yo, so last month you guys were real cool about the whole ordering pizza thing - thanks for that. Pie In The Sky got shut down for a while after the place got trashed, and they decided to rebrand while they were doing their repairs. [He holds up a paper flyer. He's been handing these out all day, jamming them in mailboxes, mail slots and even inside people's vehicles and any open windows. You're free to find them just about anywhere, in potentially great volume. Sorry not sorry.] So Porter Pizza'll be reopening on the 9th.

There'll be free slices, some great deals and you can help 'em get back on their feet after all that shit that went down. The joint's run by some cool people and I'm still doing deliveries, so I can guarantee you'll get a hot pizza every time. If you don't believe me, give it a shot and I'll show you up.

[He doesn't really have much else to announce but he doesn't feel like dishing out any more flyers so he gets comfortable on the bench. He furrows his brow and hell, why not:] I'm gonna start a war and I don't even care: Pineapple on pizza, yay or nay?

h2no

[orange. that's all the video shows for a moment, before a muffled] Shit, it's on already! [can be heard. then the view shifts; showing archie with a huge orange paw in his lap, while blue can be seen every now and then just out of frame.]

Ya see this? [archie puts his hand under the giant paw and holds it up so the camera shows it off a bit better. the huge bear-dog it's attached to boofs gently in... pride, probably. thems big beans.] This kinda stuff, ya gotta learn to do for free where we come from.

( snip for length )

ghoulking

Three years ago, I arrived to this world, on this exact day. I have met many people, I've seen many go and return, though many don't remember ever being here. I have seen so much happening and I've lived through a lot. It's hard to keep a track of everything. I have done so much as well. [ and so much has been done to him, too. But he digresses ] - but I think what happened before we started arriving in 2014 is also important, and it's good to remember it from time to time.

The Porter was found in the Atlantic Ocean in 1985 and the first wave of imPorts arrived in 1986. Before this time, America was not the country you know; if you look at the history books, you won't find much information on America's 1984. Because of the extended tension between the United States and Russia, continuous attacks and an arms race, at the time there was an almost totalitarian government ruling over the country; citizens were arrested, brainwashed, they were spied on, censored and repressed at all times.

After finding the Porter and the first imPorts arrived, an imPort named Hernan Soñé, aka "Nova Man", brought to light the government's actions. From this, it snowballed: imPorts, native heroes, even some sectors of the military and the government - our current sponsors-, joined together to reform the militant corruption on going. This is why imPorts are seen as heroes: we are. We saved them from a very dark time and we helped them to have a brighter future. The reform ended around 1990's and everything worked well enough, with both native Heroes and imPorts working together to keep the country safe.

In 2008, everything changed again. There was a scientist - it's still questionable if he really was under Soviet orders. He built what he called a "Death Ray" on an island which has the name of Death Island. [ you can laugh because this sounds so silly, but it's not funny ] This ray was designed to counteract the active nanotechnology used to revive imPorts should they die.

In other words, it could kill imPorts permanently.

Seven imPorts were sent to investigate his island, most of them being teenagers and they were all killed. While the scientist was caught and taken in to custody, the imPort Benedict Katzenberg aka "Promise" executed the prisoner without orders. While he was court-martialed, the charges didn't stick, but again it was just a step to start a whole new chain of events.

A strong decline of costumed heroism and vigilante activity followed, due to accusations from imPorts, the natives, the native heroes and the government, each side claiming the death of these imPorts had happened because of the other. Heroes retired and the ones that remained became reckless, acted independently or opposed the law enforcement rather than alongside, and that caused for new laws to be made: native heroism and vigilantism became illegal, "Registered" and "Unsettled" became marks heroes had to wear, and by 2011 the government decided it was best for imPorts to go back to their home universes. Every imPort left and all native Heroes retired or went underground.

[ and finally: ] In 2014, the Porter started working again, without any notice. Lachesis infected the Porter and this world is once again receiving imPorts. That is us.

I hope this bit of history helps to explain why we are loved by most in this country, and helps us to remember this isn't just a dream. [ not for the natives, certainly. And also not for those seven imPorts who were killed back in 2008 ] If you have any questions, I can try answering. I was around when all of this was found out, but it was two years ago. My memory can be a bit shaky. [ except Kaneki has notes on everything so maybe not so much ]

shadowglitter

[ The feed flickers on, and all you see is a softly rolling white mist in an empty bedroom. There are... footsteps, you can hear them, but only if you lean into your communicator and listen closely. The footsteps grow louder, and louder, and louder, and then soon, there's a figure. This figure walks into the fog, keeping his back to the camera, and then he waves his hands around in an attempt to make the mist swirl like a tornado around him. Sadly, physics don't work that way, so he gives up.

He spins dramatically on the spot and points at the camera, but then he tries it again in an attempt to look even cooler and trips on the wire for the dry ice machine he's got plugged into the wall. It unplugs, he staggers awkwardly to the ground, the smoke stops rolling in as the machine just straight up dies, and, nervously, this guy gets back up on his feet and dusts himself off. He's rather red-faced and sweaty, but he quickly wipes his forehead with the bottom of his cape and then he's back to trying to look cool, pointing at the camera as if nothing happened. When he speaks, it's with forced volume. ]

Hark! I, Odin Dark, Stalwart Guardian of the Night, Devourer of the Ruined Fates, HERO AMONGST HEROES, has travelled across time and tide for you, dear viewer! You, and you alone! [ He poses dramatically, his hand covering his face like he's shielding the world from the BURNING ENERGY that EMANATES FROM HIS DEMONIC EYES. ]

Odin Dark! Known to many as the Reaper's Second Scythe! (For when his first scythe isn't GOOD ENOUGH!) My heart is as black as a crow covered in roasted charcoal, flying through a starless night sky! And the crow's made of obsidian! LIKE MY HEART, WHICH WAS SURGICALLY REPLACED WITH THE HEART OF AN EVEN SCARIER, BLACKER BIRD! [ he throws his hands in the air dramatically. ] Can you hear that? Can you hear that, viewer?! My... blood! It's screaming!

[ He quietly says "noo odin noooo anything but that" out of the corner of his mouth, followed by what are undoubtedly supposed to be explosion noises. ]

Haha. Yes. Plead for your lives, villains. The beast in me... has awoken.

majorlyugh

[Major comes on screen, wearing a tank top. He flexes both arms, creating a sort of upside-down U-shape.] Yo, bro! Bro, do you even lift, bro?!

God, no, sorry, can you imagine if I really talked like that? Ugh. Anyway, now that I've got your attention, please hold all the rotten fruit you were getting ready to pummel me with (with good reason) to listen to my announcement!

I'm looking to open up a fitness center for all imPorts later this month. I'm still in the stages of setting it all up, but it'll eventually - hopefully - have all sorts of equipment for all kinds of abilities and powers. Like, treadmills that go to inhuman speeds for all you Speedy Gonzalezes out there. Oh geez, was that racist? Sorry. Uh. For all you .. uh ... Flashes out there? And there'll be crazy weights for all of you Hulks who wanna show off how much you can bench to all your buds. If you have other powers that could benefit from going to the gym to workout on the regs, just let me know what kind of accommodations you might need, and I'll see what I can do!

[He starts to turn the video off, but comes back at the last minute.] OH! Wait, duh. The reason I made this was also to ask if there are folks who might be interested in working at said fitness center! We'll need front desk staff, personal trainers (I was one in my last life, so I can totes help you if you want me to!), a maintenance crew, an accountant, and PR folks. If you're interested, hit me up here or using the strange faux-iPhone devices we all have. Thanks!

magneticxman

[Lorna is sitting in a bakery. There's evidence of a recently consumed danish on the plate on the table between her and the phone's camera. Maybe that's why she looks so pleased. Or maybe it's because she's alive and sometimes that's a rush all its own.]

I thought I'd introduce myself, since I just got here and it seems like the thing to do. I'm Lorna Dane. It's pretty nice to be somewhere sunny. Or anywhere at all.

Anyway, I'm still a little fuzzy about things here. I don't know that I'll get over being accepted by the population at large anytime soon. That's definitely not how it is back home. I wonder what else is different that people don't know to tell me about.

On the one hand, I want to know if there are people from home here so I can either catch them up on the gossip or be caught up myself. On the other hand, I think this might be a really good time to make a break with my old life and try something new for a change.

I'm a publicist now, which is going to take some adjustment. Still, it's nice to have a civilian job again.

I don't really have a point to make, I guess. Just that I look forward to getting to know people and hopefully things will be less ridiculous than home here.

continuousgroaning

the school year's barely begun and i've already landed in detention

i mean it is kinda my fault and at least the guidance counselor here is better than Mr. Frond was

[some time later, she adds:]

And i just got 2 days tacked on for being caught on my device

so I guess my point is I'm full of all this frustration and aggression & I'm not used to feeling this way so how do i try and burn it off?

musclemothers

A-hem, if I could have everyone's attention please! I've recently come to note that there's something of a... deficit in the imPort community. Sure, sure, you could try dating outside of our little community, but in light of all of this vandalism nonsense, do you really want to take that risk? After all, you may not figure out their ulterior motives until it's too late! Or they might just be a glory hound. Either/or.

[ Rusty himself has no problems with gloryhounds, but... that's not part of his pitch! ]

Anyhoo! To that end, I've designed an imPort-only dating app, accessible only from our very own communicators to make sure that no looky-loos get onto the system. All you do is upload a couple of the more flattering pictures you can take of yourself - and no dick pics, all you nasty horndogs out there, that'll be deleted automatically; if you like someone, you can do them the dignity of showing off your dick in-person, thank you very much - put up a brief blurb, and voila, love might be right around the corner!

[ He winks. It's not great. ]

And for next week, and next week only, I've made a deal with a few choice date locations as sponsors who will be willing to fund your romantic endeavors - just sign up, and our algorithm will do the rest. All you'll have to do is show up at the right place and time.

Ta-ta!

[ ... ]

Oh, fuck, and it's called imPress. Don't know how I missed that part...

[ ooc : if you want to sign up for randomized dates or if you just want your character to have a dating app on their profile you can use for future hook-ups, please direct your attention to THIS POST! thanks, and have fun! ]

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maskormenace

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text, anonymous.

THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2017

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LUNAR INTERLUDE 1: VIDEO; ID is blank

un: Anonymous

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video | ❝ black hole sun ❞

video - this time it's actually dogs

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