text

[calloused]

[ introductions are for losers, so Derek doesn't include one. just gets right down to what he wants. ]

Started a business. Hiring people. Tell me if you need a job.
Full time or part time positions available. Branches are located in Heropa or Maurtia Falls. Be nearby, or at least willing to travel.

Requirements:
- Unaffected by blood, bones, etcetera.
- Capable of dealing with emotional turmoil.
- Stamina in spades.
- Likes animals.
- Not an asshole.

That's it.

[ that's it. no further explanation. no sympathy for anyone dealing with roomba drama. zero shame ]

Comments

Re: text

[fehus]

i know a lawyer. actually i know like three lawyers? why are there so many lawyers?

[calloused]

You're both just mad neither of you are eligible for a job.

[fehus]

yeah dude exactly. i'm calling better business bureau. or whatever the knock off is here. the cooler corporation coalition?

[calloused]

Did you know there are pringles here called prongles.

[fehus]

there are not.

[calloused]

Say that again.

[ attached: untitled.jpg ]

[fehus]

i bet you wish you were as cool as that rollerblading swine.

[calloused]

I just wish I had the fashionable instincts he does. Matching the color of his sunglasses to the velcro on his rollerblades?
Fresh.

[quickfingers]

prongles are fucking delicious. fight me.

[fehus]

that pig doesn't believe in fighting. he believes in radical kickflips.

[quickfingers]

totally tubular, d00d

[calloused]

They're oily shards of stale potato dipped in the memory of what pigs should taste like.

[quickfingers]

fwd: prongles are fucking delicious. fight me.

[bragnificent]

will u elaborate on "stamina in spades"

[calloused]

There might be heavy lifting.
Sometimes you'll have to travel. Distances. On foot.
Sometimes, injuries will be sustained.

Don't make this terrible.

[bragnificent]

well i dont actually need the job
that just sounded like my kind of responsibility in case yknow u ever needed a hand
i'm all about heavy lifting :)

wait why on foot

[calloused]

Hm.
No.
I need to hire people.
I have to do this the right way.
Also, I think you're being terrible.

Walking regulates your blood pressure. Helps your heart.
So.

[bragnificent]

and this is the right way
this
a nonspecific job offer saying u want ppl unaffected by blood, bones, & "etcetera"
also ps its your mom who's terrible :/

i know what walking DOES
but if travelings a requirement whys it have to be on foot

[fehus]

fwd: don't make this terrible.

[bragnificent]

fwd: i didnt say anything youre all the ones who thought it

[fehus]

that's not a fwd. and don't act innocent, it's unsettling as hel.

[bragnificent]

so i shouldve just said fwd: Stamina in spades.
?

i think im just surrounded by perverts

2/2!!

[bragnificent]

ftr i dont know ANY lawyers so i think ur the weird one for knowing 3

GASPS

[fehus]

weird or helpful? how else are we gonna take this dude and his shady hiring practices down.

THATS FUCKIN RIGHT. EVEN IF I WAS TOO LATE

[bragnificent]

in this case i guess maybe both
my job for sure doesnt have that requirement