☀ 01 ☀

[baphlement]

DISCOVER YOUR PATRON GOD* TODAY!
Give your answers to the following questions in the comments, and BAPHOMET will analyze your soulful results. Then we can chat about it! If you're a Pantheon god already and you take the quiz YOU CHEATER I reserve the right to all and any bullshit.

(1) WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL LEGEND?
A. My dick, like a mythical tale, has been passed from mouth to mouth.
B. My legend is yet written.
C. Empathy & compassion.
D. I am feared and admired.
E. The fact that I owe answer to no one.
F. My own gorgeous reflection.

(2) WHO OR WHAT HAS GIVEN YOU YOUR POWER?
A. A generally healthy lifestyle and a little bit of good luck.
B. I derive power from my relationships with others.
C. I inherited it from a source of damnation.
D. I'm sad and powerless, boohoo.
E. My hopes, ambitions, & dreams.
F. Fuck you.

(3) HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN YOUR FRIEND GROUP?
A. The smart one.
B. The pretty one.
C. The cool one.
D. The crazy one.


(4) DID YOU TAKE A WHISKY DRINK OR A VODKA DRINK?
A. Whisky.
B. Vodka.
C. Neither.
D. boTH.


(5) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?
A. Never reaching my full potential.
B. Being secretly hated by my loved ones & friends.
C. Crossing a rubicon that goes against my moral standards.
D. Losing out on adventure or meaning.
E. Dying alone.
F. Personality quizzes are stupid and fake and yet I, as massive hypocrite, took one anyway.

(6) FILL IN THE BLANK.
WE ARE THE _____________ , MY FRIENDS.

*Only applies to Pantheon gods, sorry Other Gods I Don't Know As Well.

Comments

[symphonyinme]

d
e
c no b no no. c
d
e
champions

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS INANNA, goddess of the morning and the evening star! You are sensual and charismatic, and you could probably fight your way out of hell if you wanted to. Emphasis on if.

[justaskalice]

1. E
2. F
3. C but also A
4. D
5. E but also F
6. there is only one true answer to this and it's "CHAMPIONS"

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS WODEN, Sky-Father of the Æsir and lord of the Wild Hunt! You are a smartass and you drive normal people away from you like it was a fucking Olympic sport. You're misunderstood, and you both HATE THE FACT and LOVE THE FACT that it makes you different. You have some weird obsessions, too.

[grandtheftequine]

A, C, B, D, F, champions

there are more gods around? i've only met one so far

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS LUCIFER, the Adversary, and you FUCKING LOVE IT. You get off on pissing people off, and that makes you an inherent rebel. You were born to be the best and brightest, and maybe you've fallen a little short of that, but at least you've fallen on your own terms. You speak to the darker qualities of humanity, and it's almost completely a game to you. If it weren't for the MEGA DADDY ISSUES you've got.





Oh yeah, which one? Because you better be saying "you, Baphomet, the literal god I am literally talking to right now."

[shittywizard]

F, E, C, B, E, extra-planar pop culture reference

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS BAAL, king of thunder and lightning, lord of the storms. You live large and you take charge. People GRUMBLE about your Untamed Bravado, but they just don't seem to understand: you deserve every ounce of cockiness you can swallow. You know who you are, you know your power, you know your style -- and it is inimitable. You'll do what you want, and woe to anyone who tries to stop you.

[motorcycle_noises]

Sure, why not?

1) E. None of these really fit, but that's closest.
2) F.
3) C.
4) C.
5) E.
6) Champions.

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS URDR, goddess of fate, queen of seers. You're frequently described as SERIOUS, and FULL OF DOOM AND/OR GLOOM. You're learned and knowledgable (and you will remind people of the fact), and you might feel isolated now and again. You seem aloof to others, even cruel at times. But that isn't to say that you MEAN to be mean in such a manner, you're actually NOT an asshole. You just care deeply, and maybe caring that much is something that can't be easily analyzed or scientifically defined. Maybe it's scary. Maybe it's just easier to isolate, easier to stick to the data. You have a knack for facts, and if there's a problem you're front and center to solving it.

[snarkbot]

(1) F
(2) A
(3) A
(4) E, Sings the songs that remind him of the good times
(5) F
(6) Memes

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS PERSEPHONE, goddess of the spring, death, and resurrection. You survive, that's what you do. Despite the chaos, despite all the destruction, you keep coming back stronger than before. You're funnier than people realize, and you're kinder than you think you are. But you get entwined with very dangerous people -- and not necessarily BAD people. Just dangerous ones. You see yourself reflected in them, and you try to take care of them. You're unpredictable like that.

text;

[subroutined]

1. C
   
2. A or maybe C
   
3. A
   
4. C
   
5. A and B both
   
6. champions? Isn't that a lyric?
   

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS DIONYSUS, god of mirth and altered states of consciousness. You are a comfort to your friends, whether you know it or not, you are therapeutic in many ways. You can help people with closure, you can help people with opening their minds and horizons. You ENJOY LIFE, you live it for the experience, and you are A JOY in return. Living isn't a dull and meandering process for you, and your philosophy hinges on DOING GOOD. You know what is right and YOU DO IT. You're more logical than people give you credit for, but you don't let their taunts and sneers get you down. Maybe ESPECIALLY when you feel you don't belong, you reach out a helping hand to anyone else in need. You might be a little too selfless sometimes.

text

[queenofseers]

There are enough of these quizzes made by bored teenagers online that I don't think we need yet another one.

[ Has she taken the quiz?? No, of course not. She looks down on this quiz. She's not internally logging her answers at all.

Also she kind of wants to know who he's assigning to her shhhhhhhh. ]

[baphlement]

WHY SO SEERIOUS?
????????


[Well, he did warn you in the fine print.]

text;

[extremeteenbible]

I ALREADY KNOW MY PATRON GOD, BUT I'M GONNA DO THIS ANYWAY.

c/e
b
all of the above
I'm an ale man, myself
d
survivors, FUCK YEAH

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS PERSEPHONE, goddess of the spring, death, and resurrection. You survive, that's what you do. Despite the chaos, despite all the destruction, you keep coming back stronger than before. You're funnier than people realize, and you're kinder than you think you are. But you get entwined with very dangerous people -- and not necessarily BAD people. Just dangerous ones. You see yourself reflected in them, and you try to take care of them. You're unpredictable like that.

[pummelgranite]

E, C, B, D, D, HBIC

Unless that gets me someone shite. Then it's B, A, D, still D, C, ChAMPIONS

[baphlement]

Your god is CTHULHU. YOU ARE chthonic and RIPPED AS HELL and SHOULD SEE ME AT MY PLACE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT.

[andtherevolution]

ok o k i'll bite

b
b/e
c
c
f
champions ofc

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS BAAL, king of thunder and lightning, lord of the storms. You live large and you take charge. People GRUMBLE about your Untamed Bravado, but they just don't seem to understand: you deserve every ounce of cockiness you can swallow. You know who you are, you know your power, you know your style -- and it is inimitable. You'll do what you want, and woe to anyone who tries to stop you.

text

[girlybruiser]

Hello, Baphomet!

1. C
2. E
3. A... I think.
4. C
5. D
6. Is this a riddle? Um, the "greatest"?

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS DIONYSUS, god of mirth and altered states of consciousness. You are a comfort to your friends, whether you know it or not, you are therapeutic in many ways. You can help people with closure, you can help people with opening their minds and horizons. You ENJOY LIFE, you live it for the experience, and you are A JOY in return. Living isn't a dull and meandering process for you, and your philosophy hinges on DOING GOOD. You know what is right and YOU DO IT. You're more logical than people give you credit for, but you don't let their taunts and sneers get you down. Maybe ESPECIALLY when you feel you don't belong, you reach out a helping hand to anyone else in need. You might be a little too selfless sometimes.

Hello!

[purple_reign]

1. A & C
2. B
3. B
4. B
5. C
6. Greatest

isn't #5 a little personal?

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS ISHTAR
Just kidding, I thought it would be funny. Bit of a cheat, really.

Honestly you fall somewhere between Persephone and Baal. Huh.

Too personal? For us?

[larped]

[ you know who loves taking personality quizzes? everyone. ]

1. C
2. A
3. A, I guess.
4. A
5. C
6. Champions. (This seems like a trick question.)

[baphlement]

[Oh boy.]

YOUR GOD IS BAPHOMET, god of death, plague, and mystical secrets. You're searching for something, and you feel like you're always JUST on the verge of discovery. But you aren't there yet. You want a rebirth, but not like how it turned out to be. You want the world to make sense, but you love dancing with the chaos and catastrophe that is inherent to LIVING. And dying. And suffering. Your revolution begins from within. But you know you can count on your friends and companions to journey this with you, and maybe that's enough for right now.

[topmeup]

Some of these are silly and others are the deep shit. Damn.

1. B
2. B
3. C
4. C
5. B
6. I know it's "champions," but fuck it WE ARE THE WORLD.

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS DIONYSUS, god of mirth and altered states of consciousness. You are a comfort to your friends, whether you know it or not, you are therapeutic in many ways. You can help people with closure, you can help people with opening their minds and horizons. You ENJOY LIFE, you live it for the experience, and you are A JOY in return. Living isn't a dull and meandering process for you, and your philosophy hinges on DOING GOOD. You know what is right and YOU DO IT. You're more logical than people give you credit for, but you don't let their taunts and sneers get you down. Maybe ESPECIALLY when you feel you don't belong, you reach out a helping hand to anyone else in need. You might be a little too selfless sometimes.

A personal fave, good result.

ANONYMOUSLY

[yol8]

[Yeah.

He's doing it anyway.]

C, B, C, D, B... "future."

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS DIONYSUS, god of mirth and altered states of consciousness. You are a comfort to your friends, whether you know it or not, you are therapeutic in many ways. You can help people with closure, you can help people with opening their minds and horizons. You ENJOY LIFE, you live it for the experience, and you are A JOY in return. Living isn't a dull and meandering process for you, and your philosophy hinges on DOING GOOD. You know what is right and YOU DO IT. You're more logical than people give you credit for, but you don't let their taunts and sneers get you down. Maybe ESPECIALLY when you feel you don't belong, you reach out a helping hand to anyone else in need. You might be a little too selfless sometimes.

WOW Dio is ridiculously popular. Guess he always knew how to draw a crowd.

[halfblaked]

D
B
A
D
F
Do I need to write champions again? I feel like only someone really creative can answer this question.

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS WODEN, Sky-Father of the Æsir and lord of the Wild Hunt! You are a smartass and you drive normal people away from you like it was a fucking Olympic sport. You're misunderstood, and you both HATE THE FACT and LOVE THE FACT that it makes you different. You have some weird obsessions, too.

Sorry, Prof.

text;

[nextsymbol]

[It's a little embarrassing to do this in public, but...it seems like it could be fun?]

1. b
2. b
3. a i guess??
4. i'm too young to drink, so c
5. a
6. is this an american reference....

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS URDR, goddess of fate, queen of seers. You're frequently described as SERIOUS, and FULL OF DOOM AND/OR GLOOM. You're learned and knowledgable (and you will remind people of the fact), and you might feel isolated now and again. You seem aloof to others, even cruel at times. But that isn't to say that you MEAN to be mean in such a manner, you're actually NOT an asshole. You just care deeply, and maybe caring that much is something that can't be easily analyzed or scientifically defined. Maybe it's scary. Maybe it's just easier to isolate, easier to stick to the data. You have a knack for facts, and if there's a problem you're front and center to solving it.

[itssacrifice]

1. E
2. C it's close enough
3. B clearly
4. D
5. ....B
6. Champions

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS LUCIFER, the Adversary, and you FUCKING LOVE IT. You get off on pissing people off, and that makes you an inherent rebel. You were born to be the best and brightest, and maybe you've fallen a little short of that, but at least you've fallen on your own terms. You speak to the darker qualities of humanity, and it's almost completely a game to you. If it weren't for the MEGA DADDY ISSUES you've got.

[onlydoubts]

1. C
2. E
3. A
4. A
5. E

6. I feel like this is a reference to something that I don't know.

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS BAPHOMET, god of death, plague, and mystical secrets. You're searching for something, and you feel like you're always JUST on the verge of discovery. But you aren't there yet. You want a rebirth, but not like how it turned out to be. You want the world to make sense, but you love dancing with the chaos and catastrophe that is inherent to LIVING. And dying. And suffering. Your revolution begins from within. But you know you can count on your friends and companions to journey this with you, and maybe that's enough for right now.

[bragnificent]

1. A E F
2. A
3. A B C
4. D
5. D
6. champions! seriously is this one a trick q or sumthing

[baphlement]

jesus fuck, Reggie.

YOUR GOD IS INANNA, goddess of the morning and the evening star! You are sensual and charismatic, and you could probably fight your way out of hell if you wanted to. Emphasis on if.

You're still my High Priest, tho.

[autorejoin]

1) A
2) C
3) C
4) D
5) F
6) Champions. Fucking obviously.

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS WODEN, Sky-Father of the Æsir and lord of the Wild Hunt! You are a smartass and you drive normal people away from you like it was a fucking Olympic sport. You're misunderstood, and you both HATE THE FACT and LOVE THE FACT that it makes you different. You have some weird obsessions, too.

[dragony]

(1) E.
(2) F? I would have put C, but it's more the opposite of that.
(3) A.
(4) B.
(5) N/A.
(6) Only ones we can depend on, and even then, not by much.

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS PERSEPHONE, goddess of the spring, death, and resurrection. You survive, that's what you do. Despite the chaos, despite all the destruction, you keep coming back stronger than before. You're funnier than people realize, and you're kinder than you think you are. But you get entwined with very dangerous people -- and not necessarily BAD people. Just dangerous ones. You see yourself reflected in them, and you try to take care of them. You're unpredictable like that.

[axeboyfriend]

1) D At least one of those things.
2) C
3) D
4) C
5) F
6) imPorts

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS LUCIFER, the Adversary, and you FUCKING LOVE IT. You get off on pissing people off, and that makes you an inherent rebel. You were born to be the best and brightest, and maybe you've fallen a little short of that, but at least you've fallen on your own terms. You speak to the darker qualities of humanity, and it's almost completely a game to you. If it weren't for the MEGA DADDY ISSUES you've got.

[crimeboy]

d (lol??? idk)
e
b JK I'M C MY FRIENDS ARE MUCH PRETTIER THAN ME
d ofc
c
champions, what other answer is there???? You had to add on the 'my friends'.

[Why the hell not? He played the tarot game too.]

[baphlement]

YOUR GOD IS INANNA, goddess of the morning and the evening star! You are sensual and charismatic, and you could probably fight your way out of hell if you wanted to. Emphasis on if.