video;

[helpline]

[ The first thing you see....is pumpkins. So many pumpkins. This house is full of pumpkins in various stages of being carved. Those who know Hazel can easily recognize this scene of mass chaos as Residence #11. However, the chalk scribbles on the wall are decidedly not hers. To start with, some of them are in a different language that looks kind of circly.

The personless scene lasts only for a moment before the Doctor scurries into frame, looking a mixture of confused and frowny. He's looking kind of magician, wearing a black coat over a black hoodie. Finally, he's holding an owl by the scruff of it's neck (can you do that with an owl? Who knows, the Doctor's doing so). Said owl is Owlfonso, the skateboarding owl that really doesn't want to be here right now and is desperately trying to peck the Doctor's fingers. ]

I want to clarify first that for once, none of this is my fault. [ except the chalk writing, which is obviously his, but that either a: goes without commenting on or b: the Doctor's forgotten it by now. also wow, that sure is a Scottish accent ] That being said- [ WHAM the camera gets a face full of owl ]

Is this normal? I mean, normal for owls. Is this how I can tell this dimension apart from my dimension? No eyepatches, no goatees, just owls that can suddenly skateboard? [ He backs poor Owlfonso away from the camera, as the Doctor's still got an expression that's pure 'what the hell is this shit' ] Well, skateboarding owls and a postponed perestroika. Spoilers, you're twenty years out of date.

[ pause, frown. The Doctor looks over at poor Owlfonso with a sort of resigned expression. ] The alternate dimension of owls and Communism. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Comments

[helpline]

Buy them anyway! You can't go wrong with a good pair of sunglasses.

[deadtective]

The pairs I'd be buying wouldn't be considered good on any level.

[she loves fucking tacky shit, and it's only partially to wind up her fashion-minded bff.]

[helpline]

They're sunglasses, that makes them automatically good.

[deadtective]

You haven't seen modern sunglasses.

[helpline]

You can't say something like that and not show me examples.

[deadtective]

Are you paying or am I?

[helpline]

I suppose that depends on if we get any or not.

[deadtective]

Considering everything I know about you in these fantastic five minutes, I can guarantee you're going to want twelve.

[helpline]

[ god, he's gonna get like two pairs of normal sunglasses and five pairs of stupidass sunglasses. ]

Lead the way then, flatmate!

[deadtective]

[I have no idea what you mean.]

Oh, are we going out? You think you're ready for that?

[cause she'll go, she actually knows where shopping places are at this point, but teasing about finally getting off the floor is required.]

[helpline]

[ the Doctor just willingly wearing these around the house ]

Of course I'm ready! No time like the present, let's go!

[ and, as if to prove his point, he hops up to his feet, giving her a look that's pure 'come on mom, hurry up!!!' ]

[deadtective]

[and Hazel looking way cooler.]

Alright, alright. If you have a heart attack halfway through, don't fucking blame me.

[she rolls her eyes dramatically because god man be cool about this!!! but she's up pretty soon after and heading towards the door.]

[helpline]

[ let's be real here, the Doctor's gonna end up with some Devo sci-fi bullshit

anyway, he's up as well and headed towards the door. ]

I'm the Doctor, by the way. I don't know if I introduced myself in the middle of the shouting and throwing.

[deadtective]

[DAFT PUNK INTENSIFIES]

If you did then I definitely wasn't listening. [and what the hell kind of 'name' is that anyway? definitely giving him shit on that one later.] I'm Hazel.

[helpline]

Pleasure to meet you, Hazel. Hopefully we can room together with minimal annoyance.

[deadtective]

Doubt it. That's just not how this house works.

[helpline]

[ shrugs. he's okay with that ]

With not too much annoyance then.

[deadtective]

I think it's gonna depend on what brand of annoyance we end up throwing at each other.

[but hey at least she's not slamming the door in his face as she walks out it. that's progress.]

[helpline]

I'm going to inevitably make the house smell like smoke at one point or another, so I suppose that's something.

[deadtective]

Eh, I've had to tackle people out the window before. It should ventilate just fine.

[helpline]

That's good! I'd hate the entire house to smell like smoke for a week or so.

[deadtective]

The house next door's empty, so I don't know if anyone would really notice in the first place.

[helpline]

Oh, that's good, [ said with a shrug. ] It's better for all of us that way anyway. Less complaining.

[deadtective]

More like slower complaining. Takes them longer to get over here.

[helpline]

Enough time for us to hide, then. [ #priorities ]