video;

[helpline]

[ The first thing you see....is pumpkins. So many pumpkins. This house is full of pumpkins in various stages of being carved. Those who know Hazel can easily recognize this scene of mass chaos as Residence #11. However, the chalk scribbles on the wall are decidedly not hers. To start with, some of them are in a different language that looks kind of circly.

The personless scene lasts only for a moment before the Doctor scurries into frame, looking a mixture of confused and frowny. He's looking kind of magician, wearing a black coat over a black hoodie. Finally, he's holding an owl by the scruff of it's neck (can you do that with an owl? Who knows, the Doctor's doing so). Said owl is Owlfonso, the skateboarding owl that really doesn't want to be here right now and is desperately trying to peck the Doctor's fingers. ]

I want to clarify first that for once, none of this is my fault. [ except the chalk writing, which is obviously his, but that either a: goes without commenting on or b: the Doctor's forgotten it by now. also wow, that sure is a Scottish accent ] That being said- [ WHAM the camera gets a face full of owl ]

Is this normal? I mean, normal for owls. Is this how I can tell this dimension apart from my dimension? No eyepatches, no goatees, just owls that can suddenly skateboard? [ He backs poor Owlfonso away from the camera, as the Doctor's still got an expression that's pure 'what the hell is this shit' ] Well, skateboarding owls and a postponed perestroika. Spoilers, you're twenty years out of date.

[ pause, frown. The Doctor looks over at poor Owlfonso with a sort of resigned expression. ] The alternate dimension of owls and Communism. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Comments

[helpline]

It's okay, you're human, I think, it usually takes you lot a while to catch on to the whole Time Lord bit.

[deadtective]

Yeah, you supernatural weirdos really cornered the market on shitty ideas. We can't exactly keep up.

[helpline]

I'm a sci-fi weirdo, thank you very much. [ said with a scoff! ] Supernatural's all werewolves and Twilight, I'm more time travel and aliens.

[deadtective]

That's even worse, it means you're loaded up with at least double the bullshit.

[helpline]

You know what they say, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance... [ baffle them with bullshit. ] I tend to go more for the former than the latter, though.

[deadtective]

So are you gonna start that up in this world anytime soon, or..?

[helpline]

Who's to say I'm not doing it already?

[deadtective]

Oh, this is your idea of flashy?

[helpline]

It's a work in progress!

[deadtective]

You should maybe try not working in the opposite direction of your goal.

[helpline]

Only a minor setback. I guarantee you, once I get my footing here, I'll be dazzling them in no time.

[deadtective]

I get the feeling I won't need to buy sunglasses anytime soon.

[helpline]

Buy them anyway! You can't go wrong with a good pair of sunglasses.

[deadtective]

The pairs I'd be buying wouldn't be considered good on any level.

[she loves fucking tacky shit, and it's only partially to wind up her fashion-minded bff.]

[helpline]

They're sunglasses, that makes them automatically good.

[deadtective]

You haven't seen modern sunglasses.

[helpline]

You can't say something like that and not show me examples.

[deadtective]

Are you paying or am I?

[helpline]

I suppose that depends on if we get any or not.

[deadtective]

Considering everything I know about you in these fantastic five minutes, I can guarantee you're going to want twelve.

[helpline]

[ god, he's gonna get like two pairs of normal sunglasses and five pairs of stupidass sunglasses. ]

Lead the way then, flatmate!

[deadtective]

[I have no idea what you mean.]

Oh, are we going out? You think you're ready for that?

[cause she'll go, she actually knows where shopping places are at this point, but teasing about finally getting off the floor is required.]

[helpline]

[ the Doctor just willingly wearing these around the house ]

Of course I'm ready! No time like the present, let's go!

[ and, as if to prove his point, he hops up to his feet, giving her a look that's pure 'come on mom, hurry up!!!' ]

[deadtective]

[and Hazel looking way cooler.]

Alright, alright. If you have a heart attack halfway through, don't fucking blame me.

[she rolls her eyes dramatically because god man be cool about this!!! but she's up pretty soon after and heading towards the door.]

[helpline]

[ let's be real here, the Doctor's gonna end up with some Devo sci-fi bullshit

anyway, he's up as well and headed towards the door. ]

I'm the Doctor, by the way. I don't know if I introduced myself in the middle of the shouting and throwing.