Entries tagged with † merle highchurch

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Sixth level; video

Hail and well meet, fellow ImPorts! Merle Highchurch here, and I have an important announcement to make!

[ he's standing in front of an interesting looking building, with curved white walls and a big sign out front that reads "All are Welcome!" ]

I'm here to announce the grand opening of Istus' ImPort Oasis, a multi-faith center in Maurtia Falls with temples and meeting areas for ImPorts of all faiths to get together and worship, discuss, and celebrate. There are many, many people to thank for Istus' opening, so I'm just gonna read off a few: Yato, the helper god! Petyr Baelishious, mayor extraordinayor! Ambassador Amidala, may she rest in peace. And last but not least, all your generous donations to our Kickstarter project!

We're going to be starting things off with a gathering to honor the memory of Ambassador Amidala, to remember all the good work she did here while she was with us. If you knew her, or were a friend, or even if you just want to come by and check us out, it's like the sign says: All are Welcome!

[ ooc: log for the event will go up later this month, after the craziness of the shamtheon ]

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LUNAR INTERLUDE 5: VIDEO; TAZ SPOILERS?

Hello? This device seems to be for, uh, communication -- so it seemed like it would be best to reach out, uh, on it. I need your help.
( Read more... )

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12. A Rolling Stone Gathers No Mozz [Video]

[Tina's happily humming to herself as she turns the feed on. A notebook is lying on Maurtia Falls #003's kitchen table, and she zooms in on several labeled drawings of burgers as she slowly flips through the pages:]

Magnus Burnsides - mango salsa with "sideburns" of hot peppers
Wizard Of Mozz - Italian sausage patty, topped with pizza sauce and mozzarella
Merle Highchurch - Pan fried, topped with a few different kinds of greens
Detective Angus - made of Angus beef with a mystery cheese inside
Max - a long bun with two mini patties and fried pickle wheels, to look like a skateboard
Sharpedo - sharp cheddar cheese with "fins" made of nacho cheese Doritos
Pikachu - put pepperoni slices for cheeks, olives for eyes, and mustard for the face on the patty
Exeggutor - honey and egg bun with two fried eggs

[Tina then shuts the notebook and turns the camera on herself, looking quite proud.]

This has been my latest project- coming up with burgers themed after imPorts I know. I want to sell them, maybe at swear-ins, or something like that.

If you could make your own burger, what would you put on it?

video.

[ Behold: Lestat, sprawled on a velvet couch in a leather jacket, head leaned casually on the arm rest. Visible from this selfie angle, discarded on his coffee table, is a laptop open to a word processor. He's deep in thought tonight. ]

Have you ever fallen in love? Have you ever been punched very hard in the face, or perhaps attacked by a pack of starving wolves? For those of you who've done both, would you say the experiences were at all comparable?

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FOURTEENTH HELIX ♥ VIDEO

I've decided!

One of the regular things I'd like to do at the Endeavor Center here in Maurtia Falls is to have weekly presentations from imPorts to talk about their worlds. So many of us come from places very unlike this one, and people are naturally curious about them! So for many of the non-imPort children who come to the Center, I thought it would be very nice to share with them. Nothing too involved! Just answering questions, perhaps a demonstration or two, bring along friends or associates if you have them.

I'd like to get at least a few volunteers arranged before I put this on the Center's schedule, so if you're interested, please let me know as soon as you can.

[ For a moment it seems like she's going to sign off, then she reconsiders and leans toward the camera with a knowing look. ]

--hm-hm, and this is probably worth mentioning: the intended age group for these presentations is around 5 through 15... so if I catch any of you being too improper, I'll give you a nasty case of rickets~

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xenologue 4 || voice

My friends, I-!! Oh--

[there's some nasty sounds off-speaker. one can infer it's either someone really really drunk or it's Kaneki Ken horking his guts out (SPOILERS IT'S THE LATTER). Lucina mumbles some half-uttered assurance before she can huff and bring her attention back:]

I require assistance. A, a healer! Of some sort. Any sort. Kaneki's-- He's in a very bad way. I've not seen its like before, and I--! [she hisses through her teeth at something one can assume is particularly bad.

sharply:] Maurtia Falls. South of the downtown regions and not far from the west bank of the canal. The closer you are, the better; I fear moving him very far, lest this get worse. Hurry!

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video

[The video opens up on an almost artistic shot- in the center of the video is a single furby on a pedestal. There’s nothing else around to distract the eye, so one must focus on this brightly colored toy. Soon, K-2SO approaches the furby, which awakens when picking up movement, and lets out a weird babbling sound. K-2SO then immediately makes a fist, and crushes the furby, horrifyingly slow, with the preciseness of a hydraulic press. The audio of the fake creature warbles and glitches, as the crunch of technology eventually stops once it’s as close to a pancake it’ll get.

K-2 then looks back to the camera.]

That’s all I wanted to do. Consider this an ‘advertisement.’ I have a BlueTube channel of similar content- specifically, the destruction of these toys. It’s very popular.

I’ve found that American entertainment typically centers around very basic themes. Destruction being one of them. This is suitable to me, because I also enjoy destroying things. I’m taking suggestions for new things to destroy for my ‘show.’

[Yeah, that’s it. What did you expect, some kind of philosophical question?]

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THE MAJORITY REPORT: MAY 20TH, 2018

THE MAJORITY REPORT: MAY 20TH, 2018Local witnesses have noted strange things behaviors from well-known imPorts in Maurtia Falls, digitally speaking. If you find an imPort behaving OUT OF CHARACTER, view them with caution! Given the supernatural nature of imPort maladies, leading medical minds cannot yet tell if this is something highly contagious or if it will only infect interdimensional eyeballs.

VIDEO KILLED THE IMPORTED STAR
As seen in The Maurtia Falls Times:

Strange times ahead! Local witnesses claim a viral video on BlueTube showcased Deddit hero Count Dooku as someone far, far more tamed. At first, the immediate media reaction was to find WHAT exactly these three imPorts featured were selling, but soon it became clear that NO PRODUCT COULD BE DETECTED. This is a new, bizarre occurrence. Local Maurtians are advised to voice digital media altogether and pursue only the printed word as the singular safe alternative to a potential deadly digital virus, at least until leading medical minds can figure out what has happened and the extent of damage.

IMPORTED INTO YOUR EARS
As heard online:
A new imPort-themed podcast had hit the scene! In the wake of a new wave of imPortmania (the kind that always tends to pool around the summer), a fresh podcast built entirely on BACKSTORY GUESSING and LORE BUILDING called MYTHOS AND LEGIONS PODCAST has ascended into trending popularity. Each Wednesday there's a new theme with a selection of imPorts who are discussed in detail by a HIP YET ACADEMIC panel. This last Wednesday showcased the theme of INNER BEAUTY and featured discussion about MERLE HIGHCHURCH, CARL GALLAGHER, GALLA, and HAN SOLO.

Please be sure to rate it on PineApple podcasts!

LIQUID PRO QUO
As seen in local Maurtia Falls police blotter:
No new leads regarding the vandalism cases of 235118 Tite Ave W, 5208 Anne St, and 5152015 Ionic Way. If you know something, or think you can help, please reach out to the MFPD.

DARE TO BAPHOMEET HIM
As seen at the De Chima Downtown Library:

Witnesses were shocked when a LIBRARY LION outside of the De Chima Downtown Library came to life. BlueTube video shows the lion stood up, stretched, and TRANSFORMED into a marbled goat of equal size. This goat then yells out "BAPHOMET GREETS YOU ON JUNE 21ST!" three times before shuddering back into its lion form and laying back down. It did not move again.

The whole event lasted no more than a minute.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from PALE ROSE to BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH thanks to this new digital concern.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

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☀ 01 ☀

DISCOVER YOUR PATRON GOD* TODAY!
Give your answers to the following questions in the comments, and BAPHOMET will analyze your soulful results. Then we can chat about it! If you're a Pantheon god already and you take the quiz YOU CHEATER I reserve the right to all and any bullshit.

(1) WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL LEGEND?
A. My dick, like a mythical tale, has been passed from mouth to mouth.
B. My legend is yet written.
C. Empathy & compassion.
D. I am feared and admired.
E. The fact that I owe answer to no one.
F. My own gorgeous reflection.

(2) WHO OR WHAT HAS GIVEN YOU YOUR POWER?
A. A generally healthy lifestyle and a little bit of good luck.
B. I derive power from my relationships with others.
C. I inherited it from a source of damnation.
D. I'm sad and powerless, boohoo.
E. My hopes, ambitions, & dreams.
F. Fuck you.

(3) HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN YOUR FRIEND GROUP?
A. The smart one.
B. The pretty one.
C. The cool one.
D. The crazy one.

(4) DID YOU TAKE A WHISKY DRINK OR A VODKA DRINK?
A. Whisky.
B. Vodka.
C. Neither.
D. boTH.

(5) WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?
A. Never reaching my full potential.
B. Being secretly hated by my loved ones & friends.
C. Crossing a rubicon that goes against my moral standards.
D. Losing out on adventure or meaning.
E. Dying alone.
F. Personality quizzes are stupid and fake and yet I, as massive hypocrite, took one anyway.

(6) FILL IN THE BLANK.
WE ARE THE _____________ , MY FRIENDS.

*Only applies to Pantheon gods, sorry Other Gods I Don't Know As Well.

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fifth level; text

[ Those lucky enough to check the network within the first twenty minutes will see a link to a brand new Kickstarter project, raising funding to open a new Multi-Faith Center/Temple in Maurtia Falls! The pledge levels seem fairly standard... Pledge $5 you get a cool bumper sticker, $15 for a t-shirt. Pledge $50 and you can get your name carved into a pew in the temple. Pledge $150 and your name will be put on a plaque of donors at the entrance.

...Pledge $250 and you get your name on a plaque "and a bag of that dank kush"?? That can't be right...

After those first twenty minutes, however, anyone trying to visit the kickstarter page will get an error message that the project they are trying to fund is no longer available. Following the mysterious disappearance, a text post shows up on the network. ]

well APPARENTLY offering people REALLY AWESOME pledge gifts for donating to your kickstarter project is """"AGAINST THE TERMS OF SERVICE"""!!

buncha narcs.

Anyway, I'm raising money for the new Istus' ImPort Oasis, an up and coming temple in Maurtia Falls that will serve as a place for all imPorts to worship whatever deities they so choose. HMU with that $$$ if you want a t-shirt or a bumper sticker, I GUESS.

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fourth level; video (forward dated to after the campaign announcements start rolling in)

[ Merle's been to a lot of new worlds in the past hundred and change years. So he knows that part of adapting to a new world is to immerse yourself in its culture, provided it has one. Study the classics, as it were.

Which is why the scene in this video might look somewhat familiar to some music loving imPorts. (It's not in black and white, though, because Merle hasn't figured out how to do camera filters on his phone.) A lone dwarf stands in a decrepit Maurtia Falls alley, a homeless person who looks a lot like a rabbi standing in the background warming his hands over a barrel fire. (Merle may or may not have hired an actual rabbi for the role.) A folksy guitar riff is playing from somewhere offscreen. In the foreground, the dwarf holds up a stack of white signs each with one word hand written on them in dark permanent marker.

The first sign reads, I. He lets it fall, revealing the sign behind it.

This one reads, THINK. Like the sign before it, this too falls to the ground.

The next sign reads, DOGS.

The next, SHOULD.

Then, finally, VOTE.

He says nothing, letting the last sign linger before it, too, falls to the ground. Then he just sort of... stands there looking proud of himself before scurrying over to the camera to turn off the video. ]

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third level; video

[ The video begins in selfie mode outside a grand stone and brick cathedral, which some might recognize as Maurtia Fall's local Catholic Church, St. Drausnius (named after the patron saint of invincible people). One might not immediately notice that the camera is in selfie mode, as only the top of Merle's head is visible, a mess of bright white hair at the bottom of the frame. Crowds of families in their Sunday finery are headed into the church, which has a brightly colored banner across the front welcoming parishioners to their Easter Sunday celebration. ]

I've heard a lot about this "Easter" holiday... [ Merle starts, finally pulling the camera down to show his full face in frame. ] Seems like people can't quite make up their mind as to whether the celebration's about new baby farm animals, or the death and revivification of some ancient demigod. I figured, why not check it out for myself to find out?

So... Any one wanna come with me, and see whether the promise of a petting zoo at the end is just an April Fool's prank?

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( text )

someone texted me about easter [ shout-out to a certain vampire ] and i realized ive never actually put much thought into it before bc i think its pretty morbid
considering what had to happen to j to make easter a thing in the first place
which was that he was tortured and murdered
but then i realized its kind of like a second bday i guess which is a little bit funny

the egg thing has always confused me tho
so i looked it up last night and it still doesnt make sense to me that its tied to j coming back??
i guess bc an egg represents life??
but why paint them with polka dots and stripes and then hide them?

anyway its technically gonna be my first easter bc lu hates it
so im not sure what i should do for it if anything, since its in that weird middle-ground of sort of being my holiday but not really
bake a cake maybe????
anyone else here that celebrates it, what do you do??

also!! the shelter i work at is doing a doggie easter egg hunt (+ bbq), where they put out a bunch of those weird plastic eggs with dog treats and other stuff in them
theyre going to do it tomorrow at the dog park in heropa and its open to anyone who wants to come out and hunt eggs with a shelter dog or bring their own dog
the only thing they ask is maybe buy a hot dog while youre there or consider donating so :) see you there??

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second level; video

[ Merle's gotten a bit better at using the video function on his device by now. He knows enough to use video on purpose, rather than thinking he's using voice and accidentally recording a close up view of his mouth and beard. In any case, today he's set up the video to record himself sitting on his back deck, surrounded by potted plants of all varieties, holding a very important book. ]

Alright, imPorts. What I'm here to talk to ya about today can be considered a touchy subject in some circles, but I promise I just mean to have an open and honest discussion about it.

I mean Religion. Faith. Belief-- in whatever deity or deities or higher powers you choose to believe in. I've been thinkin' about it a lot lately, and I think just because my god is cut off from this world, an' I can't talk to him while I'm here, I don't think that oughta stop me from practicing my faith. I don't think it should stop any of us!

Now, I've heard some not-so-great things about the calibre of the native churches on this world. Far be it for me to condemn the way anyone worships, but I get the feeling that we imPorts who hold faith in other gods besides that one guy who sent his son down to Earth or whatever he did or didn't do... I get the feeling we wouldn't be so welcome at those native churches.

So that's why I'm thinkin' o' putting my own place together. A sort of church where anyone'd be welcome, where you could come an' practice whatever faith you want. --Except, maybe not the kind of faith that involves ritual murder... [ He's looking at you, Dark Brotherhood. ] But for all those other kinda faiths that need a place to go to pray, or meditate, or do whatever. Whaddaya think? Good idea? What sorta things would you need to practice your religion on this world? How could I make that easier for you?

[ He places his hand over his Extreme Teen Bible and closes his eyes briefly. ]

As our Pan-enly Father said, "You’re not from this world. And, so, technically speaking, that means I’m not your Pan. But you will always be my Merle."

...Okay, maybe that was a little thing he said specifically to me, but... The message is still the same! Okay, bye!

[ Embarrassed by his snafu, he hastily ends the recording. ]

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002 | Text (posted anonymously)

[Late one night, an anonymous message appears, both on the network and left affixed to walls and left outside the doors of disreputable businesses.]

So you wish to summon the Dark Brotherhood? You wish to see someone dead? Pray, child. Pray, and let the Night Mother hear your plea.

You must perform that most profane of rituals - the Black Sacrament.

Create an effigy of the intended victim, crafted from a heart, skull, bones and flesh. Encircle the effigy with candles.

Stab the effigy with a blade rubbed in nightshade petals, while whispering this plea:

"Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear."

Then wait, child, for the Dread Father Sithis rewards the patient. You will be visited by a representative of the Dark Brotherhood. So begins a contract bound in blood.

[Attached is an image, to demonstrate the ideal form of the ritual.]

[The network post seems to have been left open for comments.]

(OOC: Anyone who performs the ritual, please sign up here! And remember, please make sure character deaths are pre-approved by the mods here!)

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!! a text post oF UTMOST IMPORTANCE

hello dear citizens!!

i have a really important request to ask of you all

so please lend me your ears 👂

and lend me your texting fingers 🤗

and let me know ................

if you were to adopt a pet, what would you call him/her/them? #petequality🐶🐱🐦 #imwithher

fyi my pals and i are trying to adopt a puppy so we could use some cool name ideas

my top picks are: john, mcclane, and nakatomi but obvs we're open to suggestions

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video;

[the video cuts to this face, which doesn't seem particularly pleased. he has a cockney accent when he speaks somewhat dryly.]

So, bit of a problem with all this- and by all this I mean this ah... mystery realm, let's call it. Earth? Earth. Not connected to the Astral Plane, is it! I think. Or I'm not, which-

[there's what's clearly a wolf whistle in the background, and camera turns enough to show he's at a cafe and some pair of people in the distance go 'hey there goth guy!' kravitz turns the camera back to himself with a :| face and ignores this]

Which is a wee bit of a problem. I have a theory, this is some sort of purgatory dimension and all that 'please get me out of here' wishing I was making was some monkey's paw bullshit- pardon my cockney.

[he sighs as those cat callers probably waggle their eyebrows.] If only this was a big goof.

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ᚨ | Video

[The video opens up to an elf clad in a black leather jacket and a red and white, candy-striped scarf. Hearthstone is looking vaguely concerned if not a bit irritated as he adjusts the camera, lips pulled into a flat, straight line. He doesn't speak, but his hands do. He signs:]

H-E-A-R-T-H-S-T-O-N-E. New.

If you understand A-S-L... [He pauses, knocks one hand in a little wave of greeting.

[Then, his face falls into a bit of a frown - more thoughtful than anything.]

If you don't...

Can you understand me anyway?

[The chances are, you can. It's one of his new powers, apparently - the ability to project his understanding of ASL onto others when he signs. That's what his file had said, anyway, but he's skeptical as to whether or not it actually works.

[He continues:]

I'm looking for a dwarf. Short. [Obviously.] Dark skin. Black hair. [He makes the motion for slicking it back.] Well-dressed. Probably wearing a vest.

[He pauses, balling up fist and rubbing it at the corner of his eye - the universal signal for "boo-hoo".]

Possibly crying.

Need to find him. A-S-A-P. Urgent. [He has to be here somewhere...

[And the video clicks off.]

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002; video

[The room behind Eli is decorated with a few Christmas lights and ornaments: a candy cane or two, some crystal stars, mistletoe. It's minimalistic but adequately festive for the Imperial household; at the edge of the room is a box and wrappings — this room has clearly just been decorated.

Eli runs a hand through his hair, nervous but content. There is a smear of red lipstick on his cheek that he has been trying to wipe off for forty minutes. This is his life now.]

I can't remember the last —week and a half? Two weeks?— very well. But I know that I caused some trouble as a, uh, glowing horse. With eight legs.

[Eli looks away from the camera, mouth pressed into a thin line.]

I'm sorry, and if you want me to pay or help fix anything please contact me. I don't know how else to make up for all the garden destruction.

[...]

And how do you fix cravings from being a horse? I walked by a flower shop and the roses looked really appetising.

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[Video]

[Anakin is hovering near a house that definitely isn't his own. He is fully cloaked and looking ominous as hell. Just what you want with your hero who is meant to save the day, right?]

Anyone who can manage being a medic should make yourselves visible. Some of these injuries are not minor aggravations.

[He opens and closes his mechanical hand, no doubt remembering the agony of losing it.]

I can encourage cells to repair - especially with someone who is like me already - but there's only so much I can do with -

[Grievous wounds. Deadly ones. He hasn't made much - if any headway - since his arrival. It nags at him.]

The most I can do is maybe put someone out of their misery for a short while.

[Or forever. Unless they are brought back. ~~That wouldn't be awkward at all!~~]