Entries tagged with † alison hendrix

Entry tags:

008 [] video;

[ hey what's up it's the most stoic clone ]

Hey. My sister, Sarissa Theron, went home about a month ago. I waited a while thinking she might come back, but it's looking like that won't happen. I know she had a lot of friends here, so I thought I'd let everyone know. [ This all sounds pretty rehearsed, because she doesn't trust herself to go off script right now. Once it's done, though, she doesn't seem to know how to sign off. ]

Okay, so... thanks for watching. [ nailed it?? ]

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Audio only

[For those of you network savvy imPorts, the local radio stations may be a cheap alternative to what you regularly get. But maybe you hear it in the background sometimes, in a store or on a bus as you go about your business, maybe it just starts playing on your nearest computer the way some haywire apps go. But this evening there's a good chance you might stumble on this airwave that announces itself with horns and then this little pop ditty before you hear a voice cut through it, sounding paradoxically demanding, sarcastic, and blasé.]

Good evening! Attention citizens or what--? [There's the rustle and click, like the announcer just turned away from the microphone.] Look, Mike, how can I be stealing music if I now have the power to control it, hmm? That's like telling the sun not to shine, the horses not to run, Adele to get over a breakup. So you can copyright that. And, yes, I know your name isn't Mike but you're near a microphone and I don't know what your real name is, so can we just agree that's the easiest way to identify yourself and get back to this program? Hmmkay.

Anyway, this is "Fix Your Selfie," with your host the fabulous Gina Linetti, A.C., M.P., and O.G. I am apparently required to tell you I'm not a medical or legal expert but when has that stopped me from being right? The answer is never, Mike. Never.

[There's a small pause where you can't hear anyone else but you probably feel like "Mike" is taking the brunt of this doubt. But it's over and then her voice gets more enthusiastic]

I have been brought here to soothe your broken souls, mend your damaged wings, and help you fly like a fierce eagle with the winds of self-esteem carrying you to victory! Buuuuuuut first that means I have to get to know your many, many problems. This will be a slight challenge because it's the radio and I am a master of facial expressions, and my understanding of language has transcended mere verbal cues, question face; but also easier because you won't be so distracted by my intensity and beauty that you can open up to me anonymously or whatever.

So, I turn it over to you listeners, call in and we'll start our first steps on this journey together. Just remember that because I'm telling you I care about your self-improvement doesn't mean I actually actually want to get to know you as you currently are.

[With that, there's a canned recording of a much more soothing automated voice telling you the number to contact them. Or, if you're on a computer, a button touch away from possibly connecting to this bizarre show. Do you think it's real? Maybe a parody stunt? Well, maybe you can find out if you call in...?]

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Video

I never thought that plants could be this dangerous until now.

[Daisy is, of course, referring to this.]

Anyone have any idea how this even started? I'm on my way there now, which is the opposite of what everyone else should do. Unless you're an idiot like I am who can't help but want to help rescue people.

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video

[As always, the video starts with Alison perfectly centered in the frame and smiling. If she looks a little resigned, well it would hard to be enthused about being trapped back in this situation again when she had just been about to embark on a small vacation to see her kids. But her role as “suburban mother trapped in scandal after scandal in a small community” has prepared her to keep that stiff upper life and smile through the simmering anger. At least her reputation here is slightly better than back home.]

Hello everyone, this is Alison Hendrix speaking. It’s been about a year since my impromptu departure, but the Powers That Be have apparently decided that it’s time for me to return, so here I am!

My event planning business - Every Last Detail - will be available to service all your party needs again, so please spread the word. If I was in the midst of planning an event for you before being ported out, I can only offer my sincerest apologies for the inconvenience and a steep discount on your next event planning fees. As I’m sure you can understand, the situation was entirely out of my hands.

[There’s a frosty note in that last word, because while she was hardly devastated to leave this stupid place, the thought of having to build her business almost from scratch again is incredibly annoying. She can’t count on having Felix here to help out this time, and her sisters would likely continue to be unreliable when it came to things unrelated to the clone-life.]

I am also always on the lookout for exemplary individuals who want to join the team, so if you have a passion for event coordination, interior design, arts and crafts, or catering and cuisine, please feel free to get in touch. And if you have a business or venue and would like to form a professional relationship with my company, I would love to hear from you!

In any case, I look forward to reconnecting with those of you that I already know, and getting to make the acquaintance of those that I don’t. I’m sure I’ll see many of you at the next swear-in ceremony.

[She waves to the camera and smiles as the footage fades to black.]

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005 [] video

[ The video opens with Sarah sitting on her couch, leaning into the camera. She's got her hands folded in front of her and it looks, for all intents and purposes, that this is some kind of rehearsed speech. When she begins, though, it's clear that this isn't something she's memorized—it's just something she's thought about a lot and is finally ready to say out loud. ]

Hey. My name's Sarah. Some of you know me, or you've met one or more of my sisters. Right now, there are five of us, but that could change at any time.

[ She bites her lip, hesitates, then continues on. ] A couple months ago there were some rumors going on about us being, like, aliens or Russian spies or some other bullshit. None of that's true, but we understand why people've been getting suspicious about our story. So here we are, telling the truth. [ Though the camera is only showing Sarah, there's the sense that one or more of the others may be in the room as well. ]

We're clones.

[ She takes a deep breath. It's out, now. There's no taking it back. ] We're clones, and we're from a world where being a clone is a dangerous thing. You can say we've been lying to you, but we only wanted to make sure we were safe. I'd do anything to keep my sisters safe. If you wanna blame someone for keeping you in the dark, you can blame me for that. [ Another deep breath, and now Sarah sits back, less rigid, and uses one hand to scratch at the side of her neck. It's a nervous gesture, but a large part of her seems relieved for having told the truth. ] We'd been planning on making this announcement for a while, but something happened earlier that made us think now would be best. We want you to hear it from us instead of someone else.

[ There's a pause, then, and it looks like Sarah might be finished. Then she adds, ] So that's the true story. Not aliens, not spies, not whatever the hell people were saying about us. But not quintuplets, either. Clones. But people, okay?

We're still just people.

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Voice; A Murder Most Multitudinous

[Sensational but so far unverified rumors have been circulating since dawn about the body of an imPort being found in Heropa early this morning, but it's from somewhere much further north that this particular transmission arrives. A transmission that remains mostly silent for several seconds after the audio kicks in, with only the sound of Maurtia Falls' afternoon traffic and the low murmur of distant conversation to be heard, in addition to a brief burst from a nearby police siren at one point.

Then a drained-sounding, slightly shaky voice finally speaks up and, gee... she almost sounds like she's seen a ghost or something.]

...Sarah, Cosima, it's Ruby. If you or any of your sisters hear this, can you please answer me as soon as possible? Something happened and I... I didn't know how else to reach you all. I don't even have all your numbers but I need to talk to you. Or. At least hear you check in, say hi, whatever.

[She takes a long, shuddering breath.]

I found-- Oh, God... Please just respond quickly. It's important.

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[Audio]

Gold, here, with just a quick announcement. To add to its current inventory, the broom shop will be offering a selection of seasonal baskets, cornucopia, and wreaths for fall decor. Starting in October, lessons in weaving will be offered on Thursdays, from 5:00-6:00pm, with refreshments to follow as part of admission -- that will include real, non-gelatin or mayonnaise based food.

Please stop by for sign-ups and further details, or inquire below.

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2 | video

[ When Claire appears on the network, she looks much the same as she did a month or so ago, if not a bit more relaxed as she smiles. And she definitely has the hang of the device by now. With respect to her roommates in residence 9 of the Falls housing, she's commandeered a table in their living room, currently surrounded by (in organized piles) books, bottles, vials, dried herbs, different flowers, and mortar and pestles.]

Good afternoon, everyone. I have a general question for all of you. We're from different times and places, and I wondered what your favorite 'home remedies' are. For example, boiling ginger and drinking the tea for nausea, or gargling with garlic water for a sore throat. Anything you would do before taking some sort of medication because you feel you've seen the proven results of it working.

You could even have practical uses for things in medical emergencies. Like using cobwebs as a bandage in a pinch.

Let me hear it, everyone. The things you know work that have been passed down over time. With such a variety of us from different places, we must all know different things that could be useful.

Or, if you'd like, please feel free to ask any questions you might have.

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video;

Greetings!

[The picture is a little off center, and the six-fingered wave at the camera is stiff and kind of awkward. For all that he's become used to the level of technology available, Ford still isn't used to speaking without a "face" to speak to. The smile, at least, is genuine, though at times he doesn't seem sure where he should be smiling. Or looking. It's... it's an attempt.]

Normally I wouldn't make such a public request, but I've run into a bit of a roadblock with my latest project. I'm in need of a very specific energy source for the prototype I'm building to run, but the laws and regulations surrounding the possession of radioactive material are a little more... stringent than the ones I remember. I sent a license application, of course, but the response was... well, confusing. I got one envelope that just contained the word "no," and another with a notification that I was no longer allowed to fly in or out of the United States. I'm sure it's just some kind of mix-up, but I keep having trouble getting calls transferred to the right department.

[There's a pause, before he waves his hand and shakes his head. Never mind. Not important.]

More to the point, I was wondering if anyone had, ah... alternate resources I could use until I manage to clear up the misunderstanding. All for even trade, of course, though the arrangement would have to be one of skills or resources in the place of actual funds. Apparently they do stop paying you once you stop showing up to work. You can reach me... I guess it would be here. Any information is appreciated.

[Another pause, a more awkward one this time -- he seems unsure how to end things (do you say goodbye? just shut the camera off?), and one hand moves to turn off the transmission before stopping halfway and dropping back to his side. It takes a moment of thought, and then he reaches forward again, this time with a wide grin.]

This is Ford Pines, signing off.

[And the picture cuts out. Nailed it.]

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video;

[The feed comes on to show Peggy standing in the middle of a room with floor mats, the kind that a gym would use to make sure that people didn’t hit the ground. Or in this case the following:]

Hello. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Peggy Carter. If anyone is interested in self defence lessons, I still have a few places available in my class. Feel free to contact me at a later time or reply to me here.

Thank you.

[There was another reason for this network address, but Peggy had to think on what to say and how to say it. Her tone becomes softer.]

I have been in this place for about a year now and if my experience has taught me anything, it’s to expect the unexpected and be prepared for the worst. That being said, it isn’t all terrible. I enjoy the work I do and I’ve made friends; I am grateful for those things. [A pause.] However, I do miss my home. I would be lying if I said otherwise. Perhaps it sounds like a cliche, but it is the truth.

I am certain I’m not the only person who feels this way. Even with that thought in mind, I am not trying to make anyone feel homesick. I just wanted to let them know I understand where they’re coming from and to remind them that there are good people here. Don’t forget that.

[She is silent for a moment or two then continues.]

Now. I believe I shall end it there before I blather on too much.

[Sometimes, Peggy wasn’t great at talking about how she felt. She was a private person so her last sentence felt like a good place to leave it at.]

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[Voice]

[Ana has been mostly avoiding the network since her loss of the ambassadorial elections, partly out of embarrassment and partly out of relief. She wasn't sure she wanted to be in charge of anything, really. Still, dwelling on the election had made her think of home, her real position, with her people...and her family. Which was why this evening network post happened.]

[There might have been a glass or two of wine involved, too, if she was being honest.]

Hi. [She started, then hesitated, collecting her thoughts.]

I know that most all of us have left loved ones behind when we brought here. Friends, families...lovers. But...

[Another beat and a small breath.]

Is anyone else married? It's so strange. I've spent...mm. Longer than I'd like to admit with Vein. Good times and awful times but always...there.

I've been here nearly a year, now. A year without him or my daughter and...

[Where was she going with this? Another pause.]

Mm. I suppose I just need a distraction.

Tell me about your families. If anyone would like to, at least. Here or...there.

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video;

[This video looks like it's filmed on an actual camera instead of the communicator. Right now it's focused on part of a vest and a t-shirt which then resolves into Dipper Pines as he steps away from the camera. In the background, there are homemade backdrops and what looks like a bunch of maps and discarded flashlights. The angle of the ceiling implies that Dipper's possibly in an attic.

Carefully pulling off the cat that had been draped over his shoulders, Dipper straightens up and clears his throat, before giving a nervous wave. His voice only wobbles a little when he greets the camera.]

So uh, hey! I'm Dipper Pines and you might have heard about me or my sister, Mabel, since stuff just... kind of happens to us. But this isn't about that! No one's getting arrested or doing survival training in a swamp or setting off fireworks or anything like that. This is a cool thing! Totally safe. Mostly safe.

Anyways! I actually wanted to tell everyone that I have my own MeTube channel. It's all about exploring supposedly haunted places, researching cryptids and local myths... Spooky junk, as Mabel would put it. If you wanna take a look, I'd really appreciate it! And if you have any like, questions or comments, just let me know.

[Dipper holds up a sign that has, "DIPPER'S GUIDE TO THE UNEXPLAINED," written on it with marker, and the MeTube channel address underneath. The cat from before begins to bat at the corner of the sign as Dipper tries his best to do a charming grin, faltering after a couple seconds.]

Okay thanks, bye!

[The camera clicks off. Should you visit Dipper's MeTube channel, it has a couple of carefully edited videos of Dipper apparently marching off into random bits of Heropa wilderness in search of urban legends. Surprisingly, there's some footage of what seems like it might be actual evidence of cryptids. Most of it's just unfortunate video evidence of what is probably breaking and entering and Dipper getting excited over strangely shaped rocks.]

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video;

[Here is Billy Kaplan. Here is Billy Kaplan in what looks like a small bookstore, which he pans. Quickly there is Richard Campbell Gansey the Third, thumbing through a book and looking very dapper, but the camera pans away from him after a moment. Basically, here is Billy Kaplan again.]

In a move that I hope does not go down in "poorly and hastily planned decisions" I'm opening a shop in De Chima. It's um, Enchantments, Rare Books, and Tea Room-

[No tea is actually being served. They don't have a license for tea. Or food of any kind.]

-and it's a magic shop of the consulting and advising kind, not the selling magical items kind. Though the books, we'll sell those. Well. I'll sell those. I don't actually have a staff.

But the point is, drop in, come by, take a look.

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[Video] Backdated to yesterday.

[This goes up an hour or two after this abomination.]

[Pacifica has her backpack on and is holding an unhappy cat in one arm and the phone in her other as she walks down the sidewalk in Heropa.]

Hey, if anyone needs me, I will not be at the Pines place until whatever is going on with their grunkles stops and there aren't four of them anymore.

[That was too many Pines children.]

I mean, okay, I can deal with the normal crazy right but come on that animal horse thing is insane and Mabel wants to keep it oh my god.

[She can feel herself going off on a tangent and she sucks in a breath.]

Yeah so anyway if you need me call me, I'll be...somewhere.

[She should probably figure out where she's going. Hrm. But she hangs up.]

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[Video] Pacifica regained her self-confidence! +3 to Charm -2 to self control.

[For people that know Pacifica, she's been...subdued, of late. Even after months, she has never really adjusted to being outside of Gravity Falls and losing the inherent power base that being Pacifica Northwest gave her. She was self-aware enough to know that she could be...frustrating...when she wasn't adored, and she hadn't quite sorted out how to deal with that here.]

[It was why she had never made a public video post on the network, because she didn't feel sure enough in her footing and her backup that she wouldn't say the wrong thing and ruin everything. But either she's feeling better, or recent events have surprised her enough that it's about to change.]

[When she turns on her phone, she's sitting on a bench in the park in Heropa, with a pile of magazines next to her. They're all brightly colored monstrosities with IMPORT BEAT written in fancy but unfortunate script at the top, and pictures of various imports on the covers. She's holding one in her hand, though she has the cover bent so you can't see who's on it. Oops.]

[She looks a bit baffled, honestly, when she starts to speak.]

I just got interviewed for a magazine? And like, apparently they've been wanting to interview for me a while or something? But they kept missing me or...I don't know, it all feels kind of crazy? Like, if I were home it would make sense, people wanting to interview me, I was- [She hesitates. Important? Famous? Was she, really?] It just would have.

But here, jeez. It's a fashion blog, or I guess a column if it's in a magazine, or something? They've been taking pictures of all the clothes I wear and it's actually kind of a little creepy but totally a compliment too right? I'm in like, four of these things.

[She shakes the magazine at the screen.]

'Cause there's a whole magazine about us. Kid imports. And a website and blog and they're all talking about us all the time. And there's other ones too, for like...old people, I guess.

[That was rude probably oops.]

Not that there's anything wrong with being old. I mean. I guess we all get that way eventually. [Not if she could avoid it though.] But their magazines are way more boring than this one.

Uh. Anyway. [She had a point.] Oh right! So, I guess I never really actually introduced myself on this thing the way everyone does. So.

[She straightens up a bit on her bench and...did her hair just get shinier? It may have gotten shinier. And then she smiles that winning smile of hers. None can resist.]

I am Pacifica Northwest.

[In spite of everything, she still says that like it should mean something.]

I've been here for a while, but I still probably don't know a lot of you so, why not fix that now, right? Hi!

[There. She felt better. She settles back into her seat again and then shakes the magazine at the screen.]

Anybody else end up in this thing lately? Lemmie know and I'll find you in here. Heck, you might not even know you're in here!

Entry tags:

001.

( Now, normally she’d think this video function was a blast, but she’s met Sarah and heard weird stuff all around (really, universe? was that necessary?) and that’s likely to come with a can of worms that she’s not quite ready to dive into just yet by plastering herself over the network. Text it is. )

Right, first off, new kid alert, please don’t steal my lunch money, etc.

I think it goes without saying that turning up here kinda sets you up to need to reassess what you define as weird. Used to be that the most bizarre thing I encountered was weedy Aussie guys thinking they could put together a decent hip hop track. It’s more or less on the same level as horrifying and disappointing as ordering a hot dog and finding out it came with a pickle. (Honestly. A pickle. In a hot dog. For the Americans here: why do you have to ruin everything? It’s about as terrible as everyone overseas thinking Fosters is our national beer of choice. No. Never. That has never been true.)

Anyway, music offences have just about been out done by walking out of the shower and turning up here, but I reckon there’s gotta be some good stories.

Funny stories, please, I beg you. If this goes to a weird place where you talk about something genuinely emotionally disturbing then I’ll feel obligated to buy you a beer, or something, and I’m not exactly rolling in cash right now. It seems a little early on to be owing people beer. Besides, I don’t think anything can really top that pickle thing. That’s still really messed up.

My other question: have any of you ever accidentally set off a firework? With your hands?
From your hands, actually. Setting of a firework with your hands sounds a bit too normal.

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003 - [Video] Happy Birthday, Chloe Price.

[It's a little after noon when Chloe turns her communicator on. She's sitting on an old white plastic deck chair, and from the look of the buildings behind her, probably on a roof somewhere in Nonah. She's in a worn old white tanktop with a skull on the front, her jeans-covered legs propped up on something, her coat hanging off the back of her chair. She's spent the morning avoiding people, not answering her texts, just...brooding. There's a cigarette between her lips, and she takes a drag off it before she catches it with her other hand, her attention mostly on the phone.]

You ever think about time 'n shit? Like, how it hella doesn't make any sense here? Like, okay, back home, before I wound up here, it was 2013 right? In October.

[She leans back in her chair, resting the phone on her leg, tilted up so all the screen really catches is her face and neck and the clouds.]

Suddenly I'm here, it's three years and a couple months later. Just, wham, welcome to the future except it's a weird fucked up cold war version of the future. And I get like, it's way worse for other people, right? Pulled from other centuries or other fuckin' planets with their own weird-ass calendars but.

Three years.

[She's not even really sure what she's going on about, honestly. She'd been puzzling this over in her head all morning and hadn't gotten anywhere, so maybe she thought rambling out loud would help. It wasn't really working.]

So here we are, right? March 11th, 2016. Shit had gone different, I'd be twenty-two today.

[She hesitates, her gaze distant, up on the clouds as she took another puff off her cigarette.]

Instead, I guess I'm twenty. Sort of. Minus a couple months. Still my birthday though. [And then she smirks, pointing the two fingers holding her cigarette at the sky.] Fuck you, universe. Chloe Price made it to twenty after all.

[She scooped up the phone again, and for a second is framed in the picture again, the camera half-covered by her thumb as she reaches for the disconnect. Her voice is quieter again.]

Didn't see that comin'.

[Click.]

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VIDEO | THE FIVE O' CLOCK NEWS

[A fan of the 5 o'clock news? Tuning into your favourite drama or sitcom? That's too bad, because the Soviets have something in mind. Abruptly, every single channel will go blank, only to be replaced with a single news channel. Some may recognize Tara Lynn Shaw, the All-American sweetheart from Channel 6 News with tastefully dyed red hair, dimples, and a big old smile. Her usual job is to reassure the American people that everything will be all right, from stories about rescued puppies to stories about heroic nurses going above and beyond the call of duty.

Her trademark dimples aren't on display today; her mood is distinctly somber, and the American flags in the background of her news station have been taken down, the backdrop replaced with a solid red. She stares into the camera, then looks down at the place cards in front of her.]

Good evening, citizens of America. This is the Soviet Union speaking. You have been left to run rampant for far too long, and we have seen great irresponsibility and suffering as a direct result of your actions. It is for these reasons that we have chosen to intervene.

We have established control over Nonah, Heropa, De Chima, and Maurtia Falls. You may not enter, nor may you leave, but you needn't worry. This is but the first step towards a more peaceful world. Provided you maintain the peace, no harm will come to you; you are instructed to simply continue going about your daily lives. You may find this change startling, but we assure you, you will feel used to it soon enough. If you do not maintain the peace, however, measures will be taken, measures that your previous government wholly failed to take.

ImPorts, you are to attend a 5-day Seminar at Cape Canaveral's Royal Mansions Resort beginning tomorrow at 10 AM sharp. This is not negotiable. You will not be harmed, but appropriate measures will be taken should you choose to be tardy or absent. The Porters will be available to you all, Registered or not; there are absolutely no excuses for your absence.

You will be weapons of the United States of America no longer.

[With that, the broadcast comes to a halt. No American news stations will be playing, but all non-topical entertainment will continue playing as normal.]

[OOC: While this post takes place on national television, please feel free to use this post to have your characters discuss this exciting new development!]

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video;

[The camera opens up, displaying no one in view, only the corner of a couch. There is the distinct sounds of crunching. It sounds almost... thoughtful? Eventually, the camera is turned so it focuses on a young woman in a lab coat who appears to be staring into space and munching on something. She swallows and addresses the camera.]

Looks like I've arrived just in time. Valentine's Day, huh? Lots of frippery about love, romance, and other mushy things. And lots of anatomically inaccurate hearts.

Anyways, I'm Ema Skye. Apparently I'm supposed to be the host of some criminology show but there are more important things to talk about right now. Specifically: snacks for Valentine's Day. I know people like to give out those little cinnamon hearts and weird chalky things with cutesy writing on them. But scientifically speaking, besides being inaccurate, they're terrible. Not top snack tier at all. Chocolate seems to be a common choice, which is a good start. But why not go further?

Choose something with crunch. With a distinctive... pillowy shape. Something that can be savory or sweet, salty or tangy. I'm talking about the Snackoo. Which doesn't seem to exist here. Yet. Looks like whoever's going to invent it has until next Valentine's Day to work on it, at least.