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WILL YOU HELP SAVE THE WORLD?

Mask or Menace is a panfandom urban 'superhero' genre DWRP game, where heroes, villains, and everyone in between seek to survive and thrive in a world loosely parallel to our own.
lurings: (✃ scar)
[personal profile] lurings
[ sitting on what looks to be like the front steps of any typical heropa government housing, abigail is, for once, sans scarf. her long dark hair still manages to hide her ears, but her pale throat is still visible. visible enough that the still angry red scar on the left side of her throat is very obvious. ]

If you were used to hiding something, what would you do to... [ she licks her lips, seeming to struggle to figure out the right word. ] Emphasize it?

[ is it obvious enough that she means her scar? she hopes so because she just signs off with that. ]
immuno: (i know you only want to own me.)
[personal profile] immuno
Freddie Lounds isn't the only one with a source.

Did anyone else receive someone's file last night?

[ private to skye ]
If I give you my phone, do you think you could trace where this came from?

[ private to karkat ]
I sincerely hope you've been quarantined because I may not know precisely what troll body entails but it sounds disgusting.

text;

Nov. 7th, 2014 12:06 pm
redhairring: (Default)
[personal profile] redhairring
[ at about noon today, Tattlecrime: Heropa is updated with a new article, titled "Secrets Revealed! Who's Really Protecting Our Country?" ]

article under cut. spoilers it's the public files from the misfile plot. content warning for talks about drug use, mental illness )

[ ten minutes later, Freddie posts the link to the article to the network. Hey, at least she's warning people as she...drags them through the mud. ]

Everybody might want to check this out. I'm sure it'll prove to be VERY illuminating.

(also, does EVERYBODY in some sort of 'watch over the children' position do drugs? It's kind of worrying)

xoxo, Freddie


[ ooc: ALSO, I am super up for anybody deciding to take a potshot at Freddie if you want. shoot me a pm/plurk and we can work things out. c: ]

[text]

Oct. 14th, 2014 02:16 pm
smarterthandad: (updating fyeahmisterfantastic)
[personal profile] smarterthandad
A question, which is only going to get philosophical if you insist on taking it there.

What are the methods by which someone returns from the dead in your home universe? (Neglecting trivial cases like reappearance after presumed death, resuscitation prior to brain death, etc.)

These are the ways I know it's happened in my universe. I've neglected to enumerate the examples of each or the list would be much longer:
  1. Inadequately understood alien technology/biology
  2. Inadequately understood future technology
  3. Inadequately understood cosmic forces/natural laws
  4. Consciousness/brain pattern transfer (technological, psychic, sorcerous)
  5. Other sorcery
  6. Demonic intervention
  7. Divine intervention
  8. Reality manipulation
  9. Vampirism
  10. "Zombie" infection leading to arrested post-mortem cell degradation and continued consciousness
  11. Techno-organic infection
  12. Resuscitation after cryonic or other stasis (intentional or accidental)*
  13. Mutant or other superhuman ability (used on self or others)
  14. Retrieval/voluntary return from alternate state of post-mortal existence
  15. Alternate timeline collapse/intervention
*I strongly suspect the process used here falls under this category.

I'm interested in whether I've missed something, and in finding out which universes have which methods. For example, do some have purely mystical means vs. some purely technological?


[note that it hasn't occurred to Val that "people don't come back" is an option]
[personal profile] hackitude


"In our first news item this evening, authorities say they have finally caught the hacker responsible for last week's government security leak. The imPort known only to authorities as "Skye" turned herself in to Heropa PD this morning, confessing to the crime and providing ample evidence of her involvement. What spurred this sudden confession, police are still trying to understand. Is she merely a pawn taking the fall for some larger organisation? We now switch to Lauren McMercer live, interviewing the policemen who made the arrest."

[The interview that follows of the officer is bland and doesn't really give much detail. There was no fuss to be had with the arrest; in fact, the whole thing was basically a non-event.]

((OOC: like the previous post, you can use this to chatter among yourselves on the network, come visit Skye in lock-up, etc. It's a multi-purpose kind of post to keep things from over-flowering.))
ex_question191: (phone phone phone)
[personal profile] ex_question191
Never have I ever worn a spandex costume.

[ the message just appears on the screen. after a little while, stiles realizes not everyone is going to know how to play "never have I ever" which could make soliciting easy entertainment difficult, so he edits in a couple of rules. ]

If you've done a never have I ever, you've gotta take a drink and explain when. If you haven't, you get to "never have I ever" sharing something you haven't done, and make other people drink and explain. It's fun. I know a bunch of you have trouble with the concept, but it's cool, you don't have to play.

[ then after about twenty minutes he adds a third message. ]

Water. If you're under 21 definitely drink water.


(( i'm going to try and reply to everyone, but i've turned off comment emailing so definitely jump each other, threadjack, make some new friends, tease some old ones.

eta 10/9 pls don't be intimidated by the post size, i still welcome new tag-ins! ))
sleuthtastic: (Default)
[personal profile] sleuthtastic
I know what you're thinking.

[ Maybe seeing a tiny blonde face on a video feed isn't the most threatening thing to see. She's not holding a weapon, and there's no glow of energy beams or anything, so it seems to be pretty far from supervillainy. But that frown? The set of her jaw? You don't see that too often on someone who's not determined to say a thing or two. ]

Who am I? Where did we come from? Who's the guy in the American flag and crazy waist to shoulder ratio? Why is there another announcement from yet another crazy new person who's complaining about liberty and personal freedom?

[ The brief moment of hey, let's talk about That Guy is replaced by a definitely not brief moment of angry blonde fury. ]

I don't know about you, but having questions like that kind of pisses me off. I did not take enough International Law or FutureTech 107: Teleporters and You.

[ A beat, then Veronica leans in, more or less until her face is the only thing that takes up the feed. ]

So if you know anything, or you know a Keith Mars, you better give it up pronto. I can think of some tasteful yet excruciating threats, if you'd like a little gas.
raincheck: (✪ 027)
[personal profile] raincheck
[ it's been over two years since steve had woken up in the future; he's more or less gotten the hang of modern technology now. which means that when he addresses the network via a video, there is no technical malfunction, and the feed doesn't shake, it isn't upside down, none of that. it shows steve in uniform, framed so that he's visible only from the shoulders up. behind his head, the curve of the shield strapped to his back is visible, though not immediately recognisable. ] This is Steve Rogers- though most people back in my world know me as Captain America. [ there's a hint of a smile in his expression, something rueful. ]

Where I'm from, freedom of speech is an important pillar of society, and I hope the same holds here. So I'm asking now — what are your experiences with the military, and the government?

[ there's no hesitation in the question, just a firm steadiness to both his voice and his expression. steve isn't paranoid by nature, but hydra infiltrating shield has shown how important transparency and scrutiny are for a government and for the military. so, before he goes back to a life of service for a government that isn't the one he knew growing up, he wants to have some account of what they're like. asking the government itself or turning to the media is one thing: in a well-functioning society, those are sources that will tell him the truth. in a not-so-well-functioning society, however, that's very different and steve? steve grew up in brooklyn, grew up on backalley fights and the great depression. asking the people is, in the end, the best source there is.

after a moment's pause, he adds:
] If, for whatever reason, you'd rather not talk about it via this channel, I'd be happy to meet you anywhere. And if you're afraid to talk, that tells me enough.

Thank you for your time. [ he lifts a hand, obviously to shut off the video feed, but before he does, there's a dry: ] Rogers out.
glassinine: (trying to look cool)
[personal profile] glassinine
[Buckle in, folks. Edgeworth's got a long agenda today, if the paper in front of him is any indication.

A few items of business.

First, the criminal calling himself Lucifer is still at large. If you encounter him, do not approach him. Instead, notify the authorities. He is to be considered extremely dangerous; if you engage him, you do so at your own peril and very likely death. Again, if you see him, report as much to the authorities, but do not engage.

[And with that grim warning out of the way - ]

Second, if anyone has either been given the power to influence thoughts, behaviors, and memories, or had such a power at home, please kindly speak to me. There's a puzzle I could use a bit of help on, and would appreciate it if you would consult.


Now. I also have a bit of a request - and I am perfectly aware of my phenomenal hypocrisy in making this request, since I should be the first one to follow my own advice. Still, please hear me out, and feel free to mock at me heartily afterwards.

As a prosecutor, I see a great many cases in which people have been murdered or injured because of an altercation stemming from an unkind word. I would not at any moment blame those who give insult for their own deaths; no; the fault lies squarely with the person who would take someone else's life. Yet at the same time, a loss of life could have been avoided if both people had just taken the time to be civil.

This is what I want to beg of all of you: be civil. It seems as though every day, people begin arguing viciously on the network. Every day, someone undertakes to be unkind for no reason other than to be unkind. And I truly do understand: all of us here are frightened, and homesick, and angry, and lonely. All of us want to revenge the wrong that's been done to us, and we so often turn to the nearest target to do so, and the nearest target is so often one another.

But it costs nothing to be kind to one another. There is no disadvantage in decency. We're all here in the same circumstances; we're under equal pressure; and none of us, with very few exceptions, want to see suffering or unhappiness amongst those around us. We're all just trying to get along - and we can all get along a bit better if we spare fewer unkind words for one another.

There are few things I can think of that would be worse than seeing your files cross my desk. I don't want to prosecute anyone's murder. And so I beg of you, first: please stay safe and cautious. And I beg of you second: be kind to your fellows, and try to promote harmony, so that there are no tragedies that come when the wrong person loses control.

Thank you all very much for your attention. Remember, if you ever feel unsafe or like you need help, call the authorities or a friend here on the network. We all just want to help one another.
attractedtodarkness: (go away)
[personal profile] attractedtodarkness
[When the feed comes on in the afternoon, it shows Violet glaring at her camera phone. The past few days have been nothing short of irritating. Her stance on ghosts has been to ignore them but with the number of murdered growing, it's been getting harder and harder to. (That and they seem to have discovered she can see them)]

All right, asshole! I don't care what kind of underworld angel you are. Just quit killing people! I'm sick of seeing dead ghosts wandering around with blood on their faces and their guts hanging out.

[She brushes her hair from her face in agitation]

If you've somehow been living under a rock, Lucifer's been going around killing people. Publicly. Google it. What I want to know is why he hasn't been caught yet.

video;

Apr. 15th, 2014 03:18 pm
performance: (it's just the way of the business)
[personal profile] performance
So. Heroes, huh?

[ Dick Grayson, the communicator reads. A normal name for a normal boy. And the boy on screen is unusually young — a teenager, but slender and small for his age. His voice is high and clear; lightly amused, friendly and polite. The kind of kid who would get an A in a public speaking class and charm your grandmother without trying. ]

I’m guessing “Why me?,” “Who’s responsible for this?,” and “When can I go home?” have been covered dozens of times already, so I won’t bother.

So... who exactly are we here to help? I'm not exactly the hero type — pretty sure someone mixed up their super-paperwork — but I'll do my civic duty and help get cats out of trees or whatever, especially if it'll get me home in time for my math test. I don't think "sorry, I was kidnapped to an alternate dimension" sounds much more plausible than homework-eating dogs.
hypercompetent: <user name="melocoton"> (♥ can i get a montage?)
[personal profile] hypercompetent
[ the feed first comes on audio at first, and all you are treated to, lovely heroes, is the sound of two people arguing. one of them sounds decidedly younger than the other, and he’s the first to properly speak up, halfway through a sentence. ] Dude, I’m telling you for the last friggin time, there is no amount of grunting that you can do in my direction that’s going to get me to tell you how we ended up here! --Stop looking at me like that, I’m going to start the network post, just because you want to go all Batman on everyone doesn’t mean that I do.

I don’t want to go Batman on anyone. [ The second, older voice sounds decidedly disgruntled, but then pauses for a moment. ] I think you started it already--

Stop changing the subject! I’m so serious, I am not letting you ruin the fact that I just woke up with freakin’ superpowers, okay, and they’re calling me a superhero. Me! In case you don’t remember, I don’t do superhero. I just read about them. And, don’t even say you’re not, anyway, because you didn’t even sign up for the--oh, hey, it is on. [ lo and behold, the first original voice seems to cut himself off in his tangent, and the feed flickers to show video as well. stiles’ head is fisheye close, enough that all you really get is a close up of a pair of brown eyes before he offers kind of an awkward, three fingered wave and hopes that none of that actually got caught on camera. ] Uh, hey. So is this Suddenly A Superhero anonymous? Hi, I’m Stiles, and apparently Stan Lee finally realized my true potential in life.

[ there’s nothing egotistical about that--aside from the glare he shot in the other dude’s direction a few minutes before, the teenager grins at the feed. ]

I told you-- [ Nevermind. Behind him, there’s a man pinching the bridge of his nose after the end of that particular tangent. He doesn’t have enough patience for this right now, but he just shakes his head and drops his hand. ] I doubt anyone really signed up for being kidnapped and turned into superheroes, but you’re probably not the only one not complaining about the superpowers aspect. [ Then, he adds: ] I’m Derek, and I’m going to leave you to the questioning.

[ Yep, that would be Derek shooting him A Look back before stepping just off-screen to go back to looking at the books he’s grabbed since they were brought to Heropa. ]

[ stiles waits until derek turns around before he jerks his head and neck in what some might call an eyeroll, then mouths “seriously, this guy, am I right?” at the camera. his hand drops from where he was covering it, and he adds-- ] I guess I just wanted to ask a question. Well, okay, like fifty questions, but for real though: do a lot of you guys come in, uh, superabilified, or is that a new thing?

Also: I might still have to go to school? Seriously? It better be Professor X’s or we’re going to have some serious issues.[ that one was less serious, but with that aside out of the way, stiles claps his hands against his thighs one, two, three times, a little awkwardly. ] That’s all I got, so just let me know if you’ve always been on the superhero train. And, also, if you wanna trade roommates.

[ Just off-screen, Derek snorts at his complaints about school and his attempt at a jab towards him. ] Just sign off, Stiles. And thanks for your time. [ As far from thrilled and camera shy as he seems to be, at least he’s polite about it. stiles scoffs again, and mutters something about "freakin' wolves thinking they're better than everyone else" but leans in and turns the video off--and there's no arguing to end it like it began. ]

[video]

Mar. 22nd, 2014 05:49 pm
glassinine: (trying to look cool)
[personal profile] glassinine
[BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE
by which I mean no, Edgeworth just has a quiet, calm, thoughtful little tirade for you all]


Good day. I'm acquainted with some of you already; for those whom I do not yet know, my name is Miles Edgeworth, and I work as a prosecutor here. I hope that you will indulge me in listening to a bit of a speech.

I understand that here, as in the previous city - and as in the homes of many of you - there is a tradition of vigilantism. I do not come today to decry vigilantes as criminals; I know that those of you who engaged in such practices almost certainly did so out of a desire to protect your homes, to fight crime that could not otherwise be fought, and the like.

But anyone who is considering returning to such practices here - who is considering becoming a vigilante and acting outside of the law - I beg you all to take a step back for just a moment and examine your actions with a critical eye.

I know that it is easy to resent the law. We like to think of the government as some meddling busybody keeping us from doing what is fun. But laws are never written out of spite. They're written for protection: of you, of your neighbors. At times, they're written to protect people from one another; at times, they're written to protect citizens from the government itself.

Laws are in place to protect people. So if you choose to act as a vigilante, to break the law, what are you doing? You're trespassing against others. You're resisting things that were put in place for the protection of yourself and your neighbor. Police cannot act as freely as vigilantes, but for good reason: they're held in check so that they are answerable to the people and to they cannot do harm to the people.

So I beg of you, any who would turn to vigilantism: consider instead working with the police. Particularly given recent events, the police force here needs those who have remarkable powers to help keep the citizenry safe. You will not be able to act as freely, perhaps, but you will be helping the city - and helping it in a way where you will not run the risk of overstepping your bounds and causing hurt.

Thank you very much for your attention. I welcome any disagreement or debate, and will freely and gladly engage any who wish to speak about this.
waywardspirit: (Mmmmmhhhmmmmm)
[personal profile] waywardspirit
[ Please don't ask him why he's sitting on a park bench covered in a pile of sleeping children. He's not going to explain. Though judging by the bright orange HEROPA DAY CAMP - COUNSELOR t-shirt that matches all the tiny HEROPA DAY CAMP t-shirts surrounding him, the answer should be obvious.

He shifts slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position without disturbing them, and then sighs softly.
]

I mean, I get it. Free stuff and you get to work for the government, that's cool. But doesn't anybody ever get - I dunno, homesick? Do you ever miss your f- [ He starts to say family, but apparently thinks better of it. ] - do you ever miss people? Or your life back home?

[ He rubs the back of his neck, unusually subdued, at least it may seem that way to the few people who've already met him. ]

What do you do if you left the one thing that's most important to you back home? Do you just not think about it? Try to get back, even if it's impossible? Or do you just wait it out and hope maybe you'll get to go home one day?

voice;

Mar. 15th, 2014 08:18 am
fraternalism: credit: herbskillz (pic#)
[personal profile] fraternalism
Between people arriving, and others trying to make people depart this plane, I'd say this place is doing very well for itself- Heropa is still standing. Though I do have to ask if those here of the law enforcement persuasion are actually working together, or doing their own thing. If you're not working together then you only have yourselves to blame for whatever happens. It isn't my job to lecture you on what is right and wrong; the majority of you are adults. Whether you act accordingly is an entirely different matter.

As Community Event Organizer, anything large scale should initially be going through me. Do not make me have to extend that invitation again. If I don't answer then it means I'm busy, just leave the message and be on your way.

[Cause you know, everyone talks at events, it's the best source of info in this dammed place.]

PRIVATE to John Watson, Molly Hooper )

two; video

Mar. 15th, 2014 12:05 am
iampretty: (Default)
[personal profile] iampretty
[Hans clicks on the video. He's sitting, shock and surprise, at a desk and is wearing a simple oxford shirt.]

I've only been here about a month and I'm already moving up! [a tiny pause, then he breaks out into a wide grin, obviously proud of himself.] You're looking at the new liaison for imPort Public Relations!

[because he is just massively done with the idea of being a waiter. serving others? utterly ridiculous. He was a prince after all.]

Part of my job involves putting together publicity spots promoting registration. I know that for some of you, you've only been here for a short while but if anybody has any success stories of how the government has helped them out, then I'd greatly appreciate it if you told them to me!

[someone should also probably teach him how to use an actual video camera or how to type with more than two fingers but hey, baby steps.]

video.

Feb. 28th, 2014 08:28 pm
connate: (01)
[personal profile] connate
[ when the feed clicks on, it's easy to tell that nick's in the kitchen, probably one that's similar to most in the issued residencies. his tone's a far cry from casual, but the fact that he's apparently wasting time at home at least offers some semblance of nonchalance. ]

My name is Nick Burkhardt. I'm with the Portland— previously of the PPB, currently with the... [ a pause, and extremely reluctantly: ] Heropa PD.

[ that's the formal introduction out of the way. which is the easy part; identify yourself, follow routine. going out of his way to make friends isn't something nick's done in a long time, which is probably going to be obvious in roughly ten seconds. his effort to drop the professional approach ends up sounding more neutral than genuinely amicable, but at least it keeps this from sounding like a full-on interrogation. ]

I wasn't planning on getting a tattoo, but given the choice I'd have gone for something a little less on the nose. And while I'm sure cops everywhere would appreciate the vote of confidence, something tells me this place is working with a flexible definition of the word hero.

[ definitely a judgement on what he's seen on the network rather than any kind of careful introspection. no offense. ]

Everyone's talking about whether or not we should register. I'm wondering what gives us the right to in the first place. [ a slight pause, and then he has the decency to sound a bit wry at his own expense. ] So on a scale of recycling to wearing spandex, how heroic do you think you rate?

video.

Feb. 28th, 2014 12:36 pm
selfequipped: ((billy) look at his angsty hood)
[personal profile] selfequipped
[There's been a lot building up to this, and she hasn't even been here long enough to claim that. But two plus solid weeks tells her everything she needs to know about Heropa, about this registration, and about what came before. Kate's granted herself the opportunity to hear from every side, and given her past history with this, she knows it's almost her place to say something.

Of course, as much as she's willing to step up, she'd prefer that she didn't have to. But here she is.

When the video switches on, she's in uniform, complete with a pair of dark purple shades and the appearance of her quiver disappearing behind her.][There's a pause, and she draws off her sunglasses and sets them down, relaxing.]


I thought it might be an okay idea to drop the dramatics a little. Sunglasses are dramatic, aren't they? [She smiles easily.] Here we go.

The other day, a man named Nelson suggested that we stand together no matter what. And I've got to say—I agree with the sentiment. I wouldn't put it the same way as him. I doubt most of us would. But you've got to give him points for trying, and again, the sentiment wasn't a bad one. It got me thinking about what happened back home for me ... and for my friends.

I've mentioned this here and there. Hints and ideas and everything. All those little points of foreshadowing for this intentional reveal. [It's a bad joke, but she smiles briefly at the idea that she set up some narrative. Kate isn't that into big dramatics; that's more other people's thing to do. But hell, she can't help but think Loki would approve of it.

Actually, that's not a good thing. But she doesn't focus on the thought, she's here for a reason.]
This is in my file. But it's just a brief note. I fought against a registration like this before. I was on the losing side, until it turned out that it was more complicated than that ... [She waves her hand in the air. Talking about the skrull invasion isn't her idea of "things people need to hear right this second."] But I've been arrested for it before. I saw the people desperate to keep this going do some terrible things. It started a series of events. One thing after another. I even had to fight on the opposite side of my best friend. Heroes hiding in private. Heroes couldn't be heroes because someone would swoop in and arrest them.

What I'm trying to say is ... it'd be good to avoid that. But they've already got a leg up on us. These tattoos don't go away. We come in prepped and ready to register. To get on with our lives. We're called outsiders, so we've got to fall into line. And anyone who goes against it might just be tainting things. [Okay, so that's a subtle snipe at Tony Stark. Less subtle for him, she imagines.] And someone might argue that I feel like I'm entitled to freedom, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. What is this government's trump card? [Their cyborg Thor. Their band of "former" supervillains. After all, Norman Osborn has just as much of a right to register, doesn't he?]

I know it wasn't easy for some of you guys before. The world you came from wasn't great. I've seen suspicions. I've seen what happens when the public reacts badly to people in costumes, but that doesn't mean the opposite is better.

The big thing I'm asking for after telling you is this: let's not fight. We can do better than that. And I think it'd be better if we were in a situation where we don't have to register our right to help people. I'm willing to fight for that. I don't want to take it to arms right away, so I've been asking around. I think none of us want Civil War here, so I'm getting ahead of myself to ensure that doesn't happen.

I do think those of us who don't like this could take a stand, but I—well, I understand if you don't want to take that risk. I can't say I blame you. We've got ... there are wifi transmitters in our arms. But I'd still like to talk to anyone about this.

Okay. [She grabs her sunglasses.] Hawkeye out.

[ voice ]

Feb. 26th, 2014 06:11 pm
hostage: (mischievous ☣)
[personal profile] hostage
[This guy sounds like a total hood, his voice rough and gravelly with a cadence that suggests he's straight outta Compton. (Or, you know, Albuquerque. Whatever.) Even so, he doesn't sound angry. He's excited, actually.]

Yo, so… Oh my god. This shit about -

Hold up. Lemme start again, sorry.

My name's, um, Jesse. Jesse Pinkman. ABQ represent. 'sup.

Anyway, so this shit about superpowers. Like, I get it, but… For real? They brought us here to be superheroes? With like the whole mask and alias thing and everything? 'cause it feels like - no offense, okay - but it feels like some kinda Punk'd thing and any second now some camera crew's gonna jump out and Ashton Kutcher or some asshole's gonna…

[He loses that train of thought, laughing to himself.]

Unbelievable. That's what this shit is.

[VIDEO]

Feb. 25th, 2014 01:55 pm
you_tried: (Bring bail money and extra for tacos.)
[personal profile] you_tried
[The communicator blinks on, revealing the face of a reasonably handsome blond man in navy blue and blindingly gold spandex, wearing – are those orange sunglasses? What year does he think it is? How can he possibly think that looks cool? Whatever the case, he’s obviously impressed with himself. He’s grinning broadly, clearly aiming for dazzling but winding up somewhere on the border between cheesy and embarrassing.]

Goooood afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Booster Gold’s the name, and I’m coming to you live from Wherever-We-Are-I-Didn’t-Catch-The-Name-Sorry, Florida! You might remember me from my many thrilling exploits – please, feel free to ask about those – or, slightly more recently, from the third season of Celebrity Dance-A-Thon. You probably don’t have that here. Don’t worry, I’ll give you the highlights. I didn’t learn to samba for nothing.

[There’s a brief hesitation, and he takes a few steps to the left, where the lighting is better. It really shows off his hair. That seems to have satisfied him. God, how is anyone this shiny?]

And before you ask, yes, I do sign autographs.

[Another gleaming smile. He must floss like a madman.]

Oh, yeah, and does anyone know where a guy can get a drink with a tiny little umbrella in it? First answer gets a free photo-op with yours truly. Don’t say Booster Gold never did anything for you.